Sunday, January 16, 2011

No Word Omits

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written.
Words won't come out.
They're stuck.
Won't come out.

I've tried, over and over and over and over again,
but nothing comes out.

I read older posts, look at the "drafts" pile in my post-manager box, and find that only one out of four posts are published. The rest are unfinished, scattered, incomplete.
I look at the post-managing box from even a year ago, only one out of ten, maybe, are unpublished.

But words don't come out.
When some begin to make sense, I may come back to the computer and share... but I don't think it will be for a while yet.
~ Sorry!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Of the Wind

Except... there's no sunshine today! *gasp*
Just white-grey clouds hovering over the earth. Bla! So incredibly uninspiring!

These type of days are the real reason that I started this blog: looking for those little things in life that make the grey-white days colorful and vibrant.

For instance, my youngest two siblings were out stomping on the huge piles of snow that have drifted in front of our former duck shed and found a vibrantly colored pheasant clucking around the pen. Enthusiasm, joy, shrieking with delight, the youngest rushes in "WE FOUND A PHEASANT! A LIVE ONE!!!"

So many times, I've sat on my bed or on the couch or in the rocker in our old craftsman style home, rocking back and forth, staring out the window at the white snow racing by on the wings of the wind, listening to it howl as it passes by, the cold air leaking in through the window cracks, wondering why on earth God has ever put a human being on this desolate plain.

The last week or so, I've been toldhow jealous some friend of mine are of the incredible weather. "You might think we're crazy..." Yeah, I do! In all honesty ;) Really! You've missed nothing but the sense of going nearly insane, listening to wind blow for hours on end, rattling the house, banging against the house - there is no peace!
Amidst the snow storm I've disregarded the beauty that can be found in it. As I look at the purpose of blogging, to more greatly appreciate the wild world around me, that mystery which continues to grab me by surprise reveals itself once more: how great, massive, wild and unpredictably powerful our Creator is, how powerful He's created this earth of Hie to be!!

How massive, sporadic, random-globe is His creation!

It's easy to see in a thunderstorm, lightening flashing all over kingdom come, from cloud to cloud, from cloud to earth, striking something occasionally and causing a streak of light to settle from sky to earth for split second; thunder bellowing from Heaven - angels or demons? Heaven or Hell breaking lose? I do believe it's Heaven - God's Heaven, thumping, clanging, thundering from Above.

Thunderstorms are the equivalent to strength, power, intensity, passion; they open up a flood of emotion, awe, wonder, terror, inspiration, desire, resentment all rolled into the peels of lightening and crackling of thunder.

But how about a snow-storm? How on earth? There are no terrors of the sky threatening to strike your home, showing themselves in an obvious way, revealing the Almighty's heavenly power in such striking ways...

It's much more settle, much more furious. It's white and grey.

Instead of thunder that causes the earth to tremble, wind howls like nothing else... it's incomparable. Some relate it to a train railing over head, but this doesn't come close to expressing the intensity and unrelenting noise that fill your head, hour by hour, minute by minute... sometimes lasting for a few days at a time... Mercilessly...

Wind, thirty, forty miles an hour, cold, desolate, termed by National Weather Service as "Arctic Wind." Not only does it's strength surpass that of branches, sometimes trees, bushes, plants... But it's power, it's freezing clenches grasping any living thing in it's path. Nothing can resist the cold grasp of the wind.
When it find you, it claws through all the layers you've put on - every one of them, grasping the core of your being, sending a chill down to your bones that cannot be shaken when it's present.

Much like the Almighty, but He isn't cold, only Just, Righteous, Pure, True, sending a chill to all that which is opposed to these qualities.
When He's present, He cannot be shaken, none can escape. He searches the earth for those who are setting out on the pilgrimage of seeking and living out, owning and living out Truth.
The strength of the wind, the strength of God.

Unrelenting, He'll fight for you, fight to get past the walls you put up in your life. Much like the wind fights against the walls of our warm, safe haven of a home.
Walls we each put up in our lives to keep us safe, safe from the danger of having to put others before yourself, having to share those things which are painful, which reveal who you really are deep down inside. Safe from having to give up yourself, to embrace Him who is above all else, which can only be done in its fullest when you surrender pieces of yourself, parts of your life; all of your in your whole entirity.

Like the wind that unceasingly wrestles against the walls of your home, the Lord never gives up, never surrenders in the fight for your soul.
He's as strong willed, unrelenting and hard headed as the wind. He won't give up. Never, ever. If you run away from Him, He'll look for you everywhere. He'll find you, "where did you go? Where are you? Why did you do this? Come out where I can see you. Show me all of you."

The intensity of the wind, the intensity of Yhwh.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't think for a moment that God could be likened to the cold-hearted wind, but as discussion increases, processing progresses and relationship is developed with those loved ones around me, it's very obvious that God is very much like the wind.

"The east wind carries him off, and he is gone; it sweeps him out of his place."
"Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud."
"The wind blows over it and it is forgotten, and its place remembers it no more."
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
"See, the Lord has one who is powerful and strong. Like a hailstorm and a destructive wind,
like a driving rain and a flooding downpour, he will throw it forcefully to the ground."
"When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.
He sends lightening with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses."
"He who forms the mountain, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness,
and treads the high places of the earth-- the Lord God Almighty is his name."

"The wind blows wherever it pleases.
You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.
So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Swept up onto the wings of a dove,
None could stop it.
Sheol would separate him and life's love.

Scooped away into the pit,
Taken in the darkness of night,
The candle of life snuffed out - a candle once brightly lit.

Laughter decreased as time
Flew away on the times wing.
A second round, closer to the heart this time.

One last night together,
Joy, pain, laughter...
Doesn't love last forever?

He's passing by now, going
The shadows of his soul-
His physical breath slowing.

A mans soul goes on forever,
But this world must let go.
Through deaths door you must endeavor

The pit laughs with joy
- it cackles
As it clenches the life of _...

Where has my grandfather gone?
To Heaven or Hell?
Is it my worry where his life's gone wrong?

I love to return home,
where innocence grew,
And my family left me not alone.

I do not want to experience round two!
Life's too short!
Death too soon....

Grief now takes over
my heart is broke!
Thank God I have no worldly lover!

My life is nothing to me,
It's Christ's alone!
He sees through me.

Grief overcomes
- it's too strong!
My heart too weak to live some...

It's not as bad as it seems,
I'm sure.
This too will pass, life will again, with light, teem!

But now, together, we walk,
This dark and cold corridor,
And in hushed voices we talk.

written by Kendra E. Nehring, for my beloved Grandpa Roy Lamar Rummel.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Time for a Change

It is mid-September. On the prairie this means that farmers are preparing to bring in their crops, if they haven't already begun. They watch the weather closely, paying careful attention to frost warnings, listening to what others are saying about the weather, and being aware of what the weather is like in surrounding areas.

Autumn is a time of preparing on the prairie. Carnivorous mammals move closer towards towns; bird begin their slow process of flocking together; tiny mammals scurry about, gathering food and storing it away in "safe places," so safe, in fact, that they cannot even find it sometimes (sound like mom and I hiding Christmas presents :)

The words from Babe pound at my thick skull as I write this, "a thick fog covered the valley..." Yup. Sounds like home. Look outside... It's quite gray outside. But incredibly beautiful. The corn, upright and stout is reddish-gold at the tops, gradually turning green as your eyes travel to it's root. Our grape vines are rimmed with a reddish brown hue. Flowers are still blooming, but they parade warmer fall colors: reds, yellow, purples, magenta... and no orange this year. Sadly, I think all of our beautiful mums died off from neglect over the Summer... so sad!

But, despite the grievous death of Autumns prize and glory, our carpet of mums, the Fall season is a highly romantic season on the great plains. Because we're surrounded by local farmers, herds of cattle and ancient barns (some of which look as if they will topple over at any second... but, surprisingly, continue to stand strong year after year, despite the fierce winter months), living in the great rural sticks of the plains, my family get's the opportunity to enjoy the most natural elements of Autumn.

The weather is mostly ideal. Leveling out at an incredible mid sixty to seventy degree weather (occasionally reaching eighty on rare day). Sweaters are totally in, giving one opportunity to be fashionable and practical. Hats are an absolute must (who wants to run around in cold weather with your ears exposed? Unless you want an ear infection for the next month, I highly suggest a knit sock-hat! :), scarves are all the rage, and quite frankly, mittens are THE bomb! Especially when they're wool, fleece lined and you can convert them into gloves... *sigh...*

Artistic inspiration simply surrounds you. Honestly, any artist could easily find themselves drowning in the color, vivacity, exuberance, drama and designs of September and October, to about mid November (I refuse to write about THAT month until it hits.... brrrr.....)
t's quite enjoyable sitting here at the computer, listening to a mix of Kutless, Jars of Clay, Casting Crowns and Toby Mac, smelling the sweet incense of a "Pumpkin Spice" candle burning, snuggled in a nearly-over sized sweater, and socks, with hot coffee sitting beside me (yes, coffee. Tea is for that social-hour right before bed:)
I really love and adore the change in seasons, and find the beginning and end of them quite pleasurable. Fall and Summer hold within them the most joy, for me, throughout the entire season though...
Autumn is a beautiful season filled with an overwhelming amount of change and this year, for me, adjustment and preparation.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Oxford English Mini...

Ha ha ha!
Finally!! My nerdy hands grip the four-by-three-inch book in their iron clasp... no one, and I repeat, no one, will take this tiny book from me! Not until I have read absolutely every definition contained between the front and back cover...
It's mine...
Mine I tell you!

I fell like such a two year old!

But I will not let go of this little book..
My precious!

Being a Christian, one would probably think that it's a pocket-sized Bible that I'm drooling over...
However, I'm not so religious...
In fact, I feel highly...

Sacrilegious adj.
Disrespecting something sacred or highly valued.
Being an American, you may think I have bought myself some mini version of the Declaration of Independence, or Constitution to memorize...
But, I'm no such patriot.
Quite frankly, now that you bring it up, I feel rather like a
Renegade n.
A person who deserts and betrays a group, cause, etc.
Being a Home schooler, you may personally know the exhilaration (Exhilarate v. make very happy or lively) that I experience every time I pick up this teenie tiny book, and stick my nose within it's pages....
I am afraid I have taken the final leap.
No longer am I considered a "partial," or "half way."
No longer can I say that I am non-biased, or that I'm on "both sides of the fence."
I have dug the pit and leaped forth..
I am an official nerd...
After experiencing with drawl for the past eleven months, with drawl form my precious, I finally bought another to replace the two former... although, those were the absolute BEST since they were copyrighted in the late 1800's, were absolutely humongous and also contained four pages worth of national flags, every U.S. state flower and flag, and contained a list of both synonyms and antonyms... but I bought one that's good enough to satisfy my hunger to read... an Oxford English Mini Dictionary!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Capturing The Little Things...

Yesterday and today we've been sorting through probably a hundred or so pictures of our family's past; from mom and dad's wedding album to my youngest siblings growth. Apparently, the lids on the bins that contained these well-loved pictures were not on securely, so they got wet. On several photo-albums, which the pictures were carefully placed in, the wet grew into mold...
We threw away so much...
After already throwing away a great deal...
It's been a highly sad couple of days. Not necessarily depressing, nor stressful (although each day finding new problems to sort through bring a nice dose of depression and stress as well).

Before mom and I started working on the pictures I was getting ready to waltz into the great outdoors and start snapping as many shots of the glorious creation as I could. However, mom found mold on the pictures and that took precedence, obviously. Upon completing soaking the dozens (hundred?) of pictures, clipping them up to a clothes line to dry, and throwing bunches away throughout the process, I really had no desire what so ever to take any more pictures! Why bother? They are just going to get tossed and ruined in the end anyway!!

Okay, so maybe I was depressed. I lacked any hope of successfully capturing the beauty in life, and passing it on, in a photograph, believing it'll all waste away without impacting anyone, without any purpose whatsoever.

But of course, as always, God convicted me...
Through a picture...
who He is,

and how....

utterly tiny I am...

All I am is one eentsy, teeny, tiny piece of this HUMONGOUS plan that He has already set into place.
It's all in His hands.
I'm just the worker bee. He's got it sorted. I just need to be obedient, and faithful to what He's laid before me...
And that's so incredibly comforting.
If He has placed before me something so seemingly insignificant, such as a bee or ant, to take a picture of; a flower or a bird, to capture in mid flight; a brother or sister, whose smile brightens my day immediately; a sun-rise or the sun reflecting off the ocean while dolphins play in the distance, than I have an opportunity to share with someone else, maybe someone else who is burning their own precious dreams on the alter of the Almighty, the beauty of the little things... to capture a shot of the tiniest most insignificant blessings on earth and share the glory of God with another human being... by capturing the little things.

Warmth for Winter

* Burnt-orange nail polish
*feather-down, fleece-lined blanket
*Hot "English Breakfast" tea, if a tsp. of whipped honey
*Pictures of tropical islands
*knitted scarf
*An adorable puppy to sit on your lap
*blazing fire
* Basic Message Oil
6 tsp. carrier oil of your choice
8 srops of essential/ fragerance oil of your choice
Blend the two together, well. Warm up the oil before using - make sure to message between your fingers and your cuticals.
.... any questions?