Vermillion Road

No Word Omits

2011-01-16T12:07:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written.
Words won't come out.
They're stuck.
Jammed.
Won't come out.

I've tried, over and over and over and over again,
but nothing comes out.

I read older posts, look at the "drafts" pile in my post-manager box, and find that only one out of four posts are published. The rest are unfinished, scattered, incomplete.
I look at the post-managing box from even a year ago, only one out of ten, maybe, are unpublished.

But words don't come out.
When some begin to make sense, I may come back to the computer and share... but I don't think it will be for a while yet.
~ Sorry!

Of the Wind

2010-12-12T11:22:00.001-08:00

Except... there's no sunshine today! *gasp*

Just white-grey clouds hovering over the earth. Bla! So incredibly uninspiring!

These type of days are the real reason that I started this blog: looking for those little things in life that make the grey-white days colorful and vibrant.

For instance, my youngest two siblings were out stomping on the huge piles of snow that have drifted in front of our former duck shed and found a vibrantly colored pheasant clucking around the pen. Enthusiasm, joy, shrieking with delight, the youngest rushes in "WE FOUND A PHEASANT! A LIVE ONE!!!"

So many times, I've sat on my bed or on the couch or in the rocker in our old craftsman style home, rocking back and forth, staring out the window at the white snow racing by on the wings of the wind, listening to it howl as it passes by, the cold air leaking in through the window cracks, wondering why on earth God has ever put a human being on this desolate plain.

The last week or so, I've been toldhow jealous some friend of mine are of the incredible weather. "You might think we're crazy..." Yeah, I do! In all honesty ;) Really! You've missed nothing but the sense of going nearly insane, listening to wind blow for hours on end, rattling the house, banging against the house - there is no peace!

Amidst the snow storm I've disregarded the beauty that can be found in it. As I look at the purpose of blogging, to more greatly appreciate the wild world around me, that mystery which continues to grab me by surprise reveals itself once more: how great, massive, wild and unpredictably powerful our Creator is, how powerful He's created this earth of Hie to be!!

How massive, sporadic, random-globe is His creation!

It's easy to see in a thunderstorm, lightening flashing all over kingdom come, from cloud to cloud, from cloud to earth, striking something occasionally and causing a streak of light to settle from sky to earth for split second; thunder bellowing from Heaven - angels or demons? Heaven or Hell breaking lose? I do believe it's Heaven - God's Heaven, thumping, clanging, thundering from Above.

Thunderstorms are the equivalent to strength, power, intensity, passion; they open up a flood of emotion, awe, wonder, terror, inspiration, desire, resentment all rolled into the peels of lightening and crackling of thunder.

But how about a snow-storm? How on earth? There are no terrors of the sky threatening to strike your home, showing themselves in an obvious way, revealing the Almighty's heavenly power in such striking ways...

It's much more settle, much more furious. It's white and grey.

Instead of thunder that causes the earth to tremble, wind howls like nothing else... it's incomparable. Some relate it to a train railing over head, but this doesn't come close to expressing the intensity and unrelenting noise that fill your head, hour by hour, minute by minute... sometimes lasting for a few days at a time... Mercilessly...

Wind, thirty, forty miles an hour, cold, desolate, termed by National Weather Service as "Arctic Wind." Not only does it's strength surpass that of branches, sometimes trees, bushes, plants... But it's power, it's freezing clenches grasping any living thing in it's path. Nothing can resist the cold grasp of the wind.

When it find you, it claws through all the layers you've put on - every one of them, grasping the core of your being, sending a chill down to your bones that cannot be shaken when it's present.

Much like the Almighty, but He isn't cold, only Just, Righteous, Pure, True, sending a chill to all that which is opposed to these qualities.

When He's present, He cannot be shaken, none can escape. He searches the earth for those who are setting out on the pilgrimage of seeking and living out, owning and living out Truth.

The strength of the wind, the strength of God.

Unrelenting, He'll fight for you, fight to get past the walls you put up in your life. Much like the wind fights against the walls of our warm, safe haven of a home.

Walls we each put up in our lives to keep us safe, safe from the danger of having to put others before yourself, having to share those things which are painful, which reveal who you really are deep down inside. Safe from having to give up yourself, to embrace Him who is above all else, which can only be done in its fullest when you surrender pieces of yourself, parts of your life; all of your in your whole entirity.

Like the wind that unceasingly wrestles against the walls of your home, the Lord never gives up, never surrenders in the fight for your soul.

He's as strong willed, unrelenting and hard headed as the wind. He won't give up. Never, ever. If you run away from Him, He'll look for you everywhere. He'll find you, "where did you go? Where are you? Why did you do this? Come out where I can see you. Show me all of you."

The intensity of the wind, the intensity of Yhwh.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't think for a moment that God could be likened to the cold-hearted wind, but as discussion increases, processing progresses and relationship is developed with those loved ones around me, it's very obvious that God is very much like the wind.

"The east wind carries him off, and he is gone; it sweeps him out of his place."

"Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud."

"The wind blows over it and it is forgotten, and its place remembers it no more."

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother's womb,

so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."

"See, the Lord has one who is powerful and strong. Like a hailstorm and a destructive wind,

like a driving rain and a flooding downpour, he will throw it forcefully to the ground."

"When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.

He sends lightening with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses."

"He who forms the mountain, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness,

and treads the high places of the earth-- the Lord God Almighty is his name."

"The wind blows wherever it pleases.

You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.

So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Speak Out!

2010-12-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

Wordful Wednesday.

Truth - North Korean Testimony The Lausanne Global Conversation

Breathless

2010-11-20T13:00:00.000-08:00

Swept up onto the wings of a dove,
None could stop it.
Sheol would separate him and life's love.

Scooped away into the pit,
Taken in the darkness of night,
The candle of life snuffed out - a candle once brightly lit.

Laughter decreased as time
Flew away on the times wing.
A second round, closer to the heart this time.

One last night together,
Joy, pain, laughter...
Doesn't love last forever?

He's passing by now, going
The shadows of his soul-
His physical breath slowing.

A mans soul goes on forever,
But this world must let go.
Through deaths door you must endeavor

The pit laughs with joy
- it cackles
As it clenches the life of _...

Where has my grandfather gone?
To Heaven or Hell?
Is it my worry where his life's gone wrong?

I love to return home,
where innocence grew,
And my family left me not alone.

I do not want to experience round two!
Life's too short!
Death too soon....

Grief now takes over
my heart is broke!
Thank God I have no worldly lover!

My life is nothing to me,
It's Christ's alone!
He sees through me.

Grief overcomes
- it's too strong!
My heart too weak to live some...

It's not as bad as it seems,
I'm sure.
This too will pass, life will again, with light, teem!

But now, together, we walk,
This dark and cold corridor,
And in hushed voices we talk.

written by Kendra E. Nehring, for my beloved Grandpa Roy Lamar Rummel.

Time for a Change

2010-09-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

It is mid-September. On the prairie this means that farmers are preparing to bring in their crops, if they haven't already begun. They watch the weather closely, paying careful attention to frost warnings, listening to what others are saying about the weather, and being aware of what the weather is like in surrounding areas.

Autumn is a time of preparing on the prairie. Carnivorous mammals move closer towards towns; bird begin their slow process of flocking together; tiny mammals scurry about, gathering food and storing it away in "safe places," so safe, in fact, that they cannot even find it sometimes (sound like mom and I hiding Christmas presents :)

The words from Babe pound at my thick skull as I write this, "a thick fog covered the valley..." Yup. Sounds like home. Look outside... It's quite gray outside. But incredibly beautiful. The corn, upright and stout is reddish-gold at the tops, gradually turning green as your eyes travel to it's root. Our grape vines are rimmed with a reddish brown hue. Flowers are still blooming, but they parade warmer fall colors: reds, yellow, purples, magenta... and no orange this year. Sadly, I think all of our beautiful mums died off from neglect over the Summer... so sad!

But, despite the grievous death of Autumns prize and glory, our carpet of mums, the Fall season is a highly romantic season on the great plains. Because we're surrounded by local farmers, herds of cattle and ancient barns (some of which look as if they will topple over at any second... but, surprisingly, continue to stand strong year after year, despite the fierce winter months), living in the great rural sticks of the plains, my family get's the opportunity to enjoy the most natural elements of Autumn.

The weather is mostly ideal. Leveling out at an incredible mid sixty to seventy degree weather (occasionally reaching eighty on rare day). Sweaters are totally in, giving one opportunity to be fashionable and practical. Hats are an absolute must (who wants to run around in cold weather with your ears exposed? Unless you want an ear infection for the next month, I highly suggest a knit sock-hat! :), scarves are all the rage, and quite frankly, mittens are THE bomb! Especially when they're wool, fleece lined and you can convert them into gloves... *sigh...*

Artistic inspiration simply surrounds you. Honestly, any artist could easily find themselves drowning in the color, vivacity, exuberance, drama and designs of September and October, to about mid November (I refuse to write about THAT month until it hits.... brrrr.....)

t's quite enjoyable sitting here at the computer, listening to a mix of Kutless, Jars of Clay, Casting Crowns and Toby Mac, smelling the sweet incense of a "Pumpkin Spice" candle burning, snuggled in a nearly-over sized sweater, and socks, with hot coffee sitting beside me (yes, coffee. Tea is for that social-hour right before bed:)

I really love and adore the change in seasons, and find the beginning and end of them quite pleasurable. Fall and Summer hold within them the most joy, for me, throughout the entire season though...

Autumn is a beautiful season filled with an overwhelming amount of change and this year, for me, adjustment and preparation.

Oxford English Mini...

2010-09-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha!
Finally!! My nerdy hands grip the four-by-three-inch book in their iron clasp... no one, and I repeat, no one, will take this tiny book from me! Not until I have read absolutely every definition contained between the front and back cover...
It's mine...
Mine I tell you!

I fell like such a two year old!

But I will not let go of this little book..
My precious!

Being a Christian, one would probably think that it's a pocket-sized Bible that I'm drooling over...
However, I'm not so religious...
In fact, I feel highly...

Sacrilegious adj.

Disrespecting something sacred or highly valued.

Being an American, you may think I have bought myself some mini version of the Declaration of Independence, or Constitution to memorize...

But, I'm no such patriot.

Quite frankly, now that you bring it up, I feel rather like a

Renegade n.

A person who deserts and betrays a group, cause, etc.

Being a Home schooler, you may personally know the exhilaration (Exhilarate v. make very happy or lively) that I experience every time I pick up this teenie tiny book, and stick my nose within it's pages....

Yes...

I am afraid I have taken the final leap.

No longer am I considered a "partial," or "half way."

No longer can I say that I am non-biased, or that I'm on "both sides of the fence."

I have dug the pit and leaped forth..

I am an official nerd...

After experiencing with drawl for the past eleven months, with drawl form my precious, I finally bought another to replace the two former... although, those were the absolute BEST since they were copyrighted in the late 1800's, were absolutely humongous and also contained four pages worth of national flags, every U.S. state flower and flag, and contained a list of both synonyms and antonyms... but I bought one that's good enough to satisfy my hunger to read... an Oxford English Mini Dictionary!!

:-D

Capturing The Little Things...

2010-09-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today we've been sorting through probably a hundred or so pictures of our family's past; from mom and dad's wedding album to my youngest siblings growth. Apparently, the lids on the bins that contained these well-loved pictures were not on securely, so they got wet. On several photo-albums, which the pictures were carefully placed in, the wet grew into mold...
We threw away so much...

After already throwing away a great deal...

It's been a highly sad couple of days. Not necessarily depressing, nor stressful (although each day finding new problems to sort through bring a nice dose of depression and stress as well).

Before mom and I started working on the pictures I was getting ready to waltz into the great outdoors and start snapping as many shots of the glorious creation as I could. However, mom found mold on the pictures and that took precedence, obviously. Upon completing soaking the dozens (hundred?) of pictures, clipping them up to a clothes line to dry, and throwing bunches away throughout the process, I really had no desire what so ever to take any more pictures! Why bother? They are just going to get tossed and ruined in the end anyway!!

Okay, so maybe I was depressed. I lacked any hope of successfully capturing the beauty in life, and passing it on, in a photograph, believing it'll all waste away without impacting anyone, without any purpose whatsoever.

But of course, as always, God convicted me...

Through a picture...

who He is,

and how....

utterly tiny I am...

All I am is one eentsy, teeny, tiny piece of this HUMONGOUS plan that He has already set into place.

It's all in His hands.

I'm just the worker bee. He's got it sorted. I just need to be obedient, and faithful to what He's laid before me...

And that's so incredibly comforting.

If He has placed before me something so seemingly insignificant, such as a bee or ant, to take a picture of; a flower or a bird, to capture in mid flight; a brother or sister, whose smile brightens my day immediately; a sun-rise or the sun reflecting off the ocean while dolphins play in the distance, than I have an opportunity to share with someone else, maybe someone else who is burning their own precious dreams on the alter of the Almighty, the beauty of the little things... to capture a shot of the tiniest most insignificant blessings on earth and share the glory of God with another human being... by capturing the little things.

You Are Sixteen...

2010-08-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

On the nineteenth my phenomenal brother (we'll refer to him as "Fetche-Boy") turned sixteen.

In the Jewish culture, it's traditional for a boy to have his Bar Mitzvah, or "coming of age," at thirteen. However, I've asked my dad that we have some form of Bar Mitzvah for my brother this year.

Why? Well, this year, my brother has really come into "his own."

God created, deep down, underneath the tenderness and compassion and deep love for life, a mighty warrior, a lion of a man, a rock and a faithful friend.

Before October (or more specifically, before the house-fire and my aunt passed away) Fetche Boy was just that, a boy. A young person becoming a young man. I can't say "he was a child," in good conscious, because he's always carried a lot of weight on his young, yet strong and broad, shoulders. But he dreamed child-like dreams (with potential, please don't get me wrong), and lacked the solid stability that a god-fearing young man provides for others. He was not yet the buffer between the ladies in his life and the world.

Since the fire, however, much has been required of him, and he has fulfilled, above and beyond, what the world ever expects of their boys.

My brother surprises even me!

Two days ago, my dad and brother were hauling furniture and heavy objects from the trailer to the front yard; from the front yard to the basement, or the front porch.

My brother, my "little" brother, has begun a mans-work. He put in a ten-hour-work day, and never complained. Yes, he got tired. Yes, his body ached, yes he became irritable, but even a fully-grown man becomes irritable and tired after using every muscle in his body to help care for their family, protecting the ladies of the house by carrying the heaviest objects and giving them less physically strenuous things to do.

I certainly don't believe that heavy lifting is solely "man's work." I believe that Adam was given Eve to help him, and Eve was given Adam to help her. They worked together, helpers, help-meets, care takers for one another; they were put together to watch each others' backs...

Me and my bro!

We've got each others' backs!

We have always done a lot of talking together. But this year, our conversations have become deeper. We ask each other for advice, confide in each other, protect each others confidence, ask for support from one another, seek perspective from the other. If we need to be frustrated, there is enough trust and grace for each other that we know we can vent without a problem (just be sure to communicate that that's all your doing :). If we need to be sad, this is perfectly acceptable! When we need someone to say, "look, Jack, get your act together..." well... we do that too... we don't always accept it graciously, when it's offered... or given without being offered ;) but there is a bridge between us, a connection, a friendship, a relationship.

My brother, Fetche "Boy," is becoming Young-Fetche-Man.

He still absolutely loves spending as much time as he can wandering the great outdoors, discovering God's beauty and mysteries; pondering life in all it's magnificence, and day-dreaming about becoming Alexander the Great. He still nearly-breaks, at times, but our Lord created my brother to have a strong spirit, one that "never gives up! Never surrenders!"

I could go on and on and on, for quite some time, talking about all the joy and blessings I find in being my brother, Fetche-Boy's, sister... But it's enough for me to say to him, "I love you. I respect you. You're my best friend! Thanks for being there!!" And then making him a PB&J.

Gotta love a guy like that! ;)

Love ya, bro!

I Want to Be Like Mommy When I Grow Up!

2010-08-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my mothers' birthday. She is forty-eight, and I don't think would be ashamed to tell you (as she posted in her blog http://www.goldengrasses.blogspot.com/)

In honor of her I have written this small piece.

Mothers are an absolute necessity to every child's life

As a baby, the little girl turns to her mother for that tender, nurturing and gentle love that mothers offer: a soft, snuggly blanket, my mother and her sweet, sweet singing voice.
Mommy holds her toddlers little hand, as they take their first step, smiling with pride: that's her baby girl who's walking!

When babe grows to child, one will find that she needs her mommy to, not only, kiss a wound and then gently and caringly wrap it up in a band-aid, but also to answer life changing questions:

"Who is God? How does one build a relationship with Him?

Why is it important to pray the sinners prayer? How do you pray it?

Will you pray with me?"

Mommy is someone to look up to because she's... well... a mommy! And there is no greater teacher and care-taker, helper and counselor on earth than your mommy!!
So the little girl pretends she is her mommy:

Bringing two Barbies together (Ken and Barbie, herself)

they argue...

Barbie: "Ken! I told you I wanted you to mow the lawn!!"

Ken: "Now, Barbie, don't fuss. It's OK. I was playing with the baby while you were working,

and am now going to mow the long. Just child out a little, I'm taking care of it. :)"

They hug and make up...

Barbie: "Okay, dear..."

Ken: "I love you, darling..."

They work together:

Barbie: "Should we fix the car, today, dear?"

Ken: "Of course! You need to go grocery shopping!"

Then the little one takes a baby-doll in her arms, wraps it in a blanket, "just so," and feeds it with a bottle... "Mommy, it's crying! It WANTS you!!!"

or...

"Mommy, how do I wrap a baby in it's blanket!"

After reaching about eleven, it becomes apparent to the little girl that she is doomed to motherhood. She's addicted to Biddy Babies, would honestly just like to collect every single one of 'em, and pretend she's a busy mother who has adopted a slough of children.

The spiritual journey that the girl started when she prayed with that vassal of the Lord, her mother, has begun to deepen, take root, sink into levels of her life that she didn't even know existed.

Purity before the Lord being one of them. So she asks her mom what God expects of her as a young lady, how she can walk that out, and pursue it.

By twelve, there have been a few conversations where the little girl asks her mother about experience with boys, how one interacts with them, and how to remain platonic friends with them.

These discussions sometimes take a turn to that of purity, holiness and righteousness before God. How one is to remain and cultivate purity: becoming more pure in Christ; guarding your heart and those of your brothers, and encouraging her daughter to always feel free to, and then pushing her to discuss these things with her father.

During this time, mom notices the love for art that's harbored in the girls' heart, and encourages the girl. Although mom won't she her herself, the girl gets her daddy to show her mom's art-work to her. As soon as she is able to look at the beautiful masterpieces her mother created, from gorgeously designed and painted pots, to colorful and life-giving paintings, the girl is let into a whole new world that was formerly unknown to her, about her mother; and mom becomes that much more of a hero to the child.

Transitioning from little-girl-hood into young-womanhood, mother is more needed than ever. Her wisdom, counsel, and life-experiences are vital and a necessity for the little girl to grow into a young lady.

Mommy will be there, always. She's feminine, lovely, gracious and kind; yet firm, decided and opinionated. These characteristics, the child finds, are most helpful in life, and things she strives to attain.

Watching, the girl will observe that mommy-hood isn't solely about being a mommy, but about being a home-maker, a care-taker, a helper and best friend to her father, and friend to each of her children.

Mom is about leadership, new beginnings, creating, nurturing and cultivating, and then sending out into the world that which you have poured your entire being into.

Mom is about doing your best, completing the task before you, it's about,

"Stick to it! No matter the squalls!"

Mom is about the pouring out of yourself for the sake of others, even when it hurts an awful lot; selflessness, Christ-likeness... And mom exemplifies this.

Mom is about supporting the godly man God has called you to be with; being used as a vassal by the Creator of the Universe, to create a new - life; pouring yourself into that new - life; investing in that young being; continuing the legacy God has given her; passing on the baton of the Lord's call to His children, "go, and make fishers of men! Until the whole earth hears!"

It's about preparing new individuals for life, for eternal life... Teaching them that life doesn't end at death, but begins when their soul meets the Creator of souls....

Teaching them that life isn't "all you've got, so live while you can," but rather, that this small piece of eternity, this life, dictates the rest of your eternity! ("Where will you go? Who will you meet on the other side of Heaven? Live with no regrets! Who is God? Who has He created you to be? What does He expect of you?")

As a young women, the little girl is a little more aware of all that her mother has poured into her: her very life. Twenty years, nine months and six days of it!

A twenty-year investment into another sinful-human-being...

Growing-up, even just a little, over the past few years, but especially this year, I see and realize and know that when I grow up, I wanna be just like my mommy!

For more on my incredible, wonderful, amazing mother, please visit her blog: http://www.goldengrasses.blogspot.com/

God richly bless and keep all you mothers who have poured yourselves into your families!

~ Miss Elisabeth

Take the Coal: Purify My Heart

2010-08-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

"Woe is me, for I am ruined!

Because I am a man of unclean lips,

And I live among a people of

unclean lips;

For my eyes have seen the King, the

LORD of hosts."

Then one of the Seraphim flew to me with burning coal in his hand..."

"Take me past the outer courts, into the HOLY place; Past the Braizen Alter,
"Lord, I want to see your face!"

Pass me by the crowds of people, the Priests who sing your praise;

I HUNGER and THIRST for YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS!

But... it's only found in one place...

Take me into the HOLY of HOLIES;

Take me in by the BLOOD of the LAMB;

Take me into the HOLY of HOLIES

"Take the COAL touch MY LIPS..

Lord, here I am!"

Isaiah six one through eleven is my absolute favorite piece of the Bible. Really, the best part of the whole thing, I think. Well, to be quite honest, any piece of the Bible is incredible, but those small bits, those pure-gold-nuggets, worth more than all the earth and it's treasure, are those pieces which open up the LORD's glory, purity and righteousness to us.

Isaiah six, especially, speaks to me personally, in a very special way. My hearts dearly longs, cries out... nearly physically painfully at times, to be righteous, pure and holy before the Holy of Holies. By Christ's blood we're washed clean, by God's guidance we're growing in righteousness; by the Almighty's grace, we're created new, and by Jesus' payment, washed pure... But God is calling deeper, wanting more, beckoning me further.

And I want to go!

Lord, call me! Summon me! Extend your scepter to me!

"The Lord has given me a hunger for righteousness and piety

that can alone be of Himself (such hungering He alone can satisfy) yet Satan

would delude and cast up all sorts of other baubles:

social life, a name renowned, a position of importance,

scholastic attainment....

What are these but objects of the 'desire of Gentiles,'

Whose ravings are warped and perverted.

Surely they can mean nothing to the soul who has seen the beauty of Jesus Christ...

... Life is not here,

but hid above with Christ

in God,

and therein I rejoice

and sing

as I think on such exaltation."

Jim Elliot, 1952

I was first introduced to Isaiah 6, probably through Sunday school class, or my parents... but I don't ever remember reading, comprehending, understanding, or even really hearing it.

The first memory I have of genuinely and authentically hearing and listening and sort of comprehending the meaning of Isaiah 6 was about two years ago, singing to myself in the basement doing laundry (where I used do most of my singing and thinking ;),

"I saw the Lord seated on His throne; High and exalted;

and there were angels,

with six mighty wings.

With two they covered their faces,

with two their feet,

and with two they fly...

and I said,

'Woe to me! For I have sinned!

For I am unclean

and so are all my kind!...

But my eyes have seen The King!

The LORD Almighty!"

The mighty picture Isaiah paints before us, with his poetic wording carries a whole lot more weight in it than I first realized.

Coal is generally hot... hot coal... the angel, if you read in verse 6a, picks up the coal with tongs, implying that it's hot, very hot. Too hot to handle.

Throughout the Bible, the metaphor and concept of being purified or refined by fire, as gold, is used. I think this is especially interesting, given the context of this chapter... God's righteousness is so incredibly overpowering, His purity and Holiness so wonderful and overwhelming, that the closer one becomes to the Lord, the more their heart longs, desires, throbs to beat true in His holiness, purity and righteousness. This does not mean perfection, but, rather, a desire to be made into and to desire to long for those things which God desires for them, as Isaiah expresses in "Woe to me!!!" (verse 5)

The heaviness of Isaiah and his plea - the deep calling, never relenting desire humanity has to be Imago Deo (to be picked up out of our sin-filled and fallen state into that holiness that reflects off our Holy of Holy One - Him who is greater than us and all our mistakes combined.)

Kutless reflect this inner-longer in their song 'Take Me In.' Todd Agnew shares his desire in his version of 'Isaiah 6.'

And quite frankly, I would really like to have the words to express this longing without sounding holier than thou.

As Christians we're called to long for and pursue holiness, purity, righteousness; righteousness before our God, and not only long for and pursue it, but also walk and live and talk and think this.

Because third-person words now fail me and cease to come to mind, I'm resorting to writing down this prayer that I've prayed, and continue to pray and will always pray... Please, brothers and sisters, join me in this fight for Purity, RIGHTeousness and Holiness, in the sight of God, and before men (who knows, we could be entertaining angels!).

YHWH,

Take hot coals and touch my unclean lips; my unclean hands;

purify my unclean mind and restore my soul to that of

righteousness, purity and holiness

before you,

O Lord, my God!

take this heart of mine, and make it over;

make me new.

Please, give me the desires of my heart,

because I desire...

I seek...

I deeply, dearly and unrelentingly long for you!

For you alone are God! You are Holy

and

and Mighty,

and I am nothing before you!

I am an unclean being, saved by grace,

my sins washed away through the blood offering,

the purest sacrifice:

Jesus Christ...

But, Lord, please hear my desire,

listen to my petition,

seek my heart for truthfulness and honesty!

I deeply long to be pure before you, (to be)

Holy

and righteous!

My heart cries out for you to say,

"Well done, my good and faithful servant. well done!"

Yhwh,

I long for you;

And you alone.

My life,

it is not my own.

I belong to no man,

no human,

no being,

not myself

or any other,

but you, God -

my Rock and my Redeemer.

For you have save my life,

and obviously want my life extended beyond what I thought it would,

or would have chosen for it.

You have made man's mouth!

You have made the deaf,

the mute,

the seeing

and the blind!

You are what I long for,

You are my hearts greatest desire!

I give this all to you -

it is in your control,

in your strong hands...

You own myself,

all that I am...

Make me holy before you;

Make me pure before you;

Please, at least find me righteous, according to who you are...

Amen

Set Your Word Upon My Heart; Engraved Within My Soul

2010-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

It does not seem that the time of an eternity could come close to hold all that which is upon the heart of my friends, and my own heart.

My daily prayer is, "Lord, Lord, give me the words You would have me speak! Let my heart meditate upon the things Your heart meditates upon! Make me into Your image bearer; Let me be Your Azer...."

The Lord is very good, and has given enough words in my heart to last through a life time. How these words are to make their way from my heart, to my lips, into the world, I haven't the faintest idea.

My sister in South Africa ("a sister from a different mother but the same Abba, Father"), her and I have been talking over the email for a few weeks now, and she stated in her last email, which I feel absolutely compelled to share,

"What am I and what are you doing

with the wonderful conviction

God has given us?

And how dare we keep it to ourselves!"

Conviction is something that Christians feel when the Lord presses something into their heart. Something that will not, that cannot, exit from your heart; Something that refuses to quiet itself, and prods at your heart and soul and mind until it nearly drives one mad. Unless you let go, and allow it to escape in the form in which God has designed it to be let loosed.

This prodding is that of Purity.

Yes, I do mean sexual purity, but, my friends, I also mean a mental and emotional and relational purity that the world does not usually speak of. In fact, as a young adult, I have rarely (never, in fact) heard of this kind of purity, verbalized in such a way, until a sister in the Lord introduced it to me. And this for a girl raised in the church!!!

Purity is something that, I believe, my generation, a great number of us, are seeking, and yearning for and desiring with our entire hearts. But it not introduced to us in the way which the Lord would like us to be walking in - the depth which Christ intends us to chase after with fuller abandon.

Many young people are encouraged to keep journals or write letters to their future spouse. This is one way which they can keep themselves accountable and create in their minds a psychological tangibility of the idea that there could in fact be a godly man or woman also waiting for them, as they themselves are waiting.

However, as this friend stated, and which had not actually made itself fathomable to me in my own mind (if fathomable is the appropriate term - because the right words for things only come to me with great challenge)...

... that the idea has now crossed my mind(through the conversation with a dear friend and sister in the Lord) that this may not be the most healthy thing young men and women are doing for themselves, or, in fact, their future spouse and their relationship.

I, myself, now see this to be the case, to an extent.

Not only do you, as a human being, create certain expectations and a certain ideal of what your future spouse will be, look like, how they will think, act, etc., but, as my friend stated, it also creates, psychologically, a relationship with someone who has yet to materialize in your life.

Putting this plainly, they are writing letters to a figment of imagination and creating expectations and an ideal of someone whom can never be. Perhaps there will be similarities between their imaginative spouse and the spouse whom God chooses for them, of this I don't see as all that unlikely, but it does seem unfair to hold onto such childish things, especially when our fantasies only reach a certain depth (of shallowness) and real life and real relationships can be so deep, and rich, and edifying.

I have found, personally, that my imagination and fantasies are sometimes not all that edifying. Not nearly as edifying and rich and don't carry the depth which life and other human beings can offer.

Again, I do not mean to imply or say that writing to your future spouse is evil or negative, or any such thing, itself. Rather, one, as humans, and romantics, and perhaps even lonely people, tend to make it into something negative. It is a good tool for a good season to keep you accountable to someone who is to come.

Blessings in Him who Was and Is and Is to Come!!
Miss Elisabeth

(I wrote this sometime last month, or so, but didn't post it because thoughts and ideas were still coming to mind... I dearly hope it makes some sense, and so dearly wish that words were something that came a little more easily to my slow mind! Praise the Lord for those of you who God has laid many words upon your lips! You Aaron's are an amazing blessing! Speak those words which the Lord would have you speak!

God richly bless and keep you all :)

Home

2010-06-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

"To My Home;

I am going home!

Here where the winds of Heaven Blow...

And everything that really matters, it comes to bring and gather me to my home...

To my home!

I'm going home..."

I am going home. Where my heart is.

My home is with a few people... we will be going home together. Home, where the winds of Heaven Blow, and all the things that really matter will bring and gather me to this place that God is creating for me. The place Above.

Though I know that this time that I am here is to be spent on this earth, doing the work written in Scripture, and living life to the Fullest, as Christ did, is what is allotted me now, I do so long for the day when I will be gathered together with my brothers and sisters and we will kneel at the throne of the Holy One, singing praises together; raising our voices as one, singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts!"

Home, Here in America CD By Rich Mullins

Pink Nail Decals

2010-05-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

I have recently, and quite mutually, been befriended by the seemingly only other young woman, who works in the same facility as I, who still wears make-up tastefully and femininely, paints her nails pink (not black nor red) and wears nail decals; isn't either thrilled, nor yet despising of her job and isn't boy crazed.

PRAISE THE LORD!

We have a lot in common on the surface, and are basically in similar places in life (again, we both know what we want to do/ be/ get in the end, but are in odd places, and aren't exactly certain how to get to that place. So we're both working; she as a manager in training and I as a part-timer)

Is it not strange how people sum up one another, based upon appearance? Maybe it's just something we as humans fall back on, by nature.

Interestingly, the people who I thought I wouldn't "schmooze" with, are those who have become quite the chums (again, mutually), and I count on them for help (and some of 'em are quite dependable for help). Maybe this is why we are chums; we help and verbalize appreciation for one another's work. Or, perhaps this is not so strange at all, but rather we as homo-sapiens, tend to take one another for granted.

Conviction is seeping through my thick skull, and the latter seems much more realistic than the former.

As I work I'm finding it's something I depend, quite strongly, on.

I can count on the same things day-after-day, generally, bringing some form of normality into my rather hectic, and "in the air" life... (this doesn't count this last Sunday when the power in the entire building went out for a half and hour-forty five minutes, or so... or the time that the fork-lift decided it needed a day off... or when we got four pallets of 400 boxes of baby wipes, when we haven't even gotten half-way done with the pallet they sent quite some time ago...)... Normality; consistency... The conversation with those chums at work is consistently skin-deep (pink-nail-decals)

Our normal is quite shallow.

(and I am so totally perfectly happy with this!!!)

No, I don't know these people on a deep level. There are a few times when "deep calls to deep," and conversation develops with some seemingly like-minded-type-of-humanity... But this consistency of the normal and relatively mundane is extremely comforting!

In fact, it's thoroughly enjoyable!

(Especially since I'm befriending another girl

who has long-

pink-painted-and-decaled-

with-flowers-nails ;)

God richly bless and keep you,

My friend!!

Miss Elisabeth

Thinking.... Perhaps too much?

2010-05-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

Why are young people (okay, older people too for that matter) so surprised when a young person responds to a "are you dating" question with, "No, I don't think I'm ready for that kind of relationship," with not only raised brows, but also the skeptical question of "are you lesbian?"

No, quite frankly, I'm not. I have no intentions of ever being so, either.

The root of my lack of a dating life is due to my Religious fanaticism.

When I was around ten or eleven years old, my older sister introduced me to a magazine called Brio, where they talked about purity, waiting for your future husband on the emotional and psychological level, and staying pure physically as well.
My friends, I was convicted. It seemed like a perfectly romantic story-line: Wait for my Future Husband (whoever he may be), staying perfectly content, and pure. A damsel, a Princess, if you will, awaiting her Prince Charming (although I dearly hope he has much more back bone and courage than any Disney Prince - yuck! And please, no dandies like Rapunzel's prince! I mean, seriously, he could of at least tried talking with the witch before going behind her back and bringing half-ruination to every one!!!!).
Sound romantic, huh?
Well it does to a ten year old... and thirteen year old... and sixteen year old...

As you hit young-adulthood, the whole "no more dating, just waiting," life style becomes much more strenuous. One absolutely must become intentionally proactive about remaining single and pure (of heart, mind and body) and cannot any longer go along remaining databley single any longer.

Okay, so this whole train of thought is probably a huge stretch of randomness for most of... okay all y'all!!
But it's all quite relative to my life right now, since one of the woman I work with joyfully informed me that there are "lookers" who have "noticed" me at work... After she stated all this (with an ear-to-ear-grin) she triumphantly stated "Isn't that exciting!!!" So, being the totally-not-overt-rather shy-introverted-"my dream super-hero-power-is disappearing" person that I am, my totally beat-red face said it all as I nodded dumbfoundedly.
Please bear in mind that a short conversation-like interaction took place between this woman and I previous this statement... And in all honesty, I wanted to yell after this person, "that's not quite the word I was looking for... terrifying might better explain my feelings right now! Not-ready! I'm just a baby! Too young..." Really, and honestly, anything besides "exciting," would have probably summed up the wave of emotions that overtook me... excitement was not one of them!

Sist'a, I am so just a baby!!!

Maybe Maria Von Trapp thought that "waiting a year, or two" (being eighteen or nineteen) was kind'a, sort'a around the time that one is ready to step out and begin the journey of seeking a spouse...

Ehem, excuse me, I totally beg to differ in this opinion! At least for me... No, I'm not at all ready for this kind of addition to my life... Or maybe it's just because life is... well... life? Hectic, crazy, unsettled, in-between, in-transition? Either way, I'm totally not ready for a romantic relationship, of any kind, really.

Mom and I were talking, and she was saying how dad felt the same when they were engaged even. We were laughing hysterically as I pointed out that he would have probably felt that way if they had waited until their forties to marry ( ;-D) And it struck me... Dang... I'm so my fathers daughter! Which may not be a bad thing after all... but, we aren't at the "after all" part of the story, so I wouldn't know!

I'm sorry, I really do think I'm beginning to babble. This happens when the clock strikes "Quarter of nine, and all 's well!"

God richly bless and keep y'all this week!

May you enjoy the rich and abundant blessings He holds for you,

and enjoy all the beauties of Spring/ Summer!!

Miss Elisabeth

Attitude!

2010-05-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

As I was working today, it struck me how few people actually, actively, live out a good moral life style. Yes, moral by a Christian's standards are higher than for those of non-Christians (at least non-religious folks, some atheists, etc.), and I'm stating this very loosely, not at all inclusively. And I'm also defining Christian as someone who has committed their life, wholly, to God. No holds bars!
Yes there are some "good" people at work. But they are good until you reach about mid-depth on the personal level.
When it gets right down to it, to be honest, please excuse my language, they are pretty pissed off people. Deeply hurt people; Some people who are indifferent to humanity, if humanity isn't complying to their every whim. And some people are nice on the out side, but when it gets right down to the hard thing, the only people they have in mind to take care of is them self. Yuck!
I mean, I am so sorry if you are offended by that statement, but, honey, you seriously need to get an attitude adjustment!
Not that all the people, or none of the people, or whatever black or white statement you want to insert here, are this way. There are some really fantastic people gentlemen and women there too! They happen to, generally, be over the age of thirty, married, and have children of their own (the last two are especially important: married and committed, have children and deeply love them and care for them!)
A few people, not many, are just plain ol' disagreeable! Still, trying to be friendly, extending gratitude and being positive around them... it's so terribly hard sometimes!
One of the people that work there I desperately want to sit down and say, "Okay, hun! You've got fifteen minutes to come up with a good reason why you are so negative, grumpy and rude! (Good is defined as: my parents have died, my entire family has died, I have no one left, I have been abused/ neglected, seriously, I'm starving to death or watching my siblings starve to death - think third world country here).

The world owes you nothing!

You work your way through!

You work to earn your money!

Work hard and have good work ethic

and you'll reap the rewards!

I know you probably really didn't need to hear that, especially from someone so naive and young as I, but I feel OH SO MUCH better having said it ;)

I apologize for making myself sound holier than thou. Please, lemme back peddle. I had a horrible attitude on Wednesday. Irritation was a better acquaintance that anyone from work. Irritability and some offense.

Bad, bad, bad!

To be honest, I was throwing a hissy-fit/ temper tantrum for myself. Poor me, there is only one other Christian in the area I work. HAH!

People in the world have much bigger issues that Miss Elisabeth not finding a kindred spirit *laughs*

Like, worrying about how you will be persecuted for simply being a Christian! Let alone the paranoia that must accompany some people in some countries, when meeting another "Christian" (are they really?!)

But I'm sorry... this post seems half finished... my thoughts are still turning in my head, hurting my head really, and my eyes are so tired!

But God richly bless and keep you, my brothers and sisters! May His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! May He lift His countenance upon you and give you peace! The Lord God guide, protect, heal and deliver you, and give you the desires of your heart.

Amen.

Drinking From My Saucer

2010-05-12T20:40:00.001-07:00

I was wanting to complain today. Complain about all the "hard work I've done." "All the hard work I did." And sometimes how, "Oh! I had to do it alone..."

A friend posted this on her blog on Facebook, and this, instead, I will now pray!

Drinking From My Saucer

By John Paul Moore

I've never made a fortune and

And it's probably too late now.

But I don't worry about that much,

I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,

I'm reaping better than I sowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I don't have a lot of riches,

And sometimes the going's tough.

But I've got loved ones around me,

And that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,

And the mercies He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,

My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,

And the sun peeped through again.

So God, help me not to gripe about
The tough rows that I've hoed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,

When the way grows steep and rough.

I'll not ask for other blessings,

I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,

To help others bear their loads.

Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

God richly bless and keep you,

May He guide you and protect you,

Showing you, bringing you, Divine appointments,

Giving you opportunities to help others bear their loads,

Revealing to you those opportunities which us, as humans, commonly miss,

to reach out and touch the life of another human being, another creation of the Almighty!

Miss Elisabeth

Thoughts 101

2010-05-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

Mission, Faith-Believing Christian:

PREACH THE WORD
BE READY IN SEASON and OUT of SEASON
CONVINCE
REBUKE
EXHORT
with LONG SUFFERING
and TEACHING (2nd Timothy 4:2)

Mission, Citizen of the United States:

STAND
for TRUTH
and DEEP FREEDOM
"CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW RESPECTING AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION, OR PROHIBITING THE FREE EXERCISE THEREOF." (First Amendment)

Mission, Employee:

IN ALL THAT YOU DO, DO IT FOR THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, IN REMEMBRANCE OF HIM
DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN, WHICH IS TRUE PERFECTION
WHAT NEEDS DONE?
DO IT!
DOING THINGS AS CHRIST WOULD
FINISH WHAT I START
CLEANING UP MY MESS

Mission, Warrior:

DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER, BEING WATCHFUL AND THANKFUL (Colossians 4:2)
BE THERE
BE CONNECTED
BE PRESENT
LOVE LIFE
PRAY
BELIEVE
HAVE FAITH
WALK IN OBEDIENCE, IN FAITH
PRAY 'TIL THEY'RE ON THE NARROW ROAD

Mission, Sister:

WAIT! IT'LL BE WORTH IT!
HOLD SELF TO THE HIGHEST STANDARD (the best I can, in all that I do)
THEY LOOK UP TO ME: WHO DO I WANT THEM TO BE?
WHAT DO I WANT THEM TO BELIEVE?
WHAT DO I DESIRE THEM TO BE DOING?
WHO DO I WANT THEM TO BE LIKE (ultimately, Christ!)

Missions, Daughter:

I HAVE INSCRIBED YOU IN THE PALMS OF MY HANDS (Isaiah 49:16)
YOU NEVER KNOW: YOU MAY JUST BE ENTERTAINING ANGELS
WHAT DO I WANT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS TO BE?
WHAT'S MY PART?
DO IT!
PRAY!
WORK, EVEN PRESENT, IN THE RELATIONSHIP
THEY A) BIRTHED ME, B) FED & WATERED ME: I OWE 'EM MY LIFE!
ACT LIKE IT!
THEY OWN ME NOTHIN'!

Mission, Final thoughts:

DEVOTE MYSELF TO PRAYER
BE EVER WATCHFUL AND THANKFUL
FIGHT!
WIN!
NEVER GIVE UP!
NEVER SURRENDER!
JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

Blessings upon you,

in the name of the One who has called us,

who has set us apart.

Miss Elisabeth

My Plans vs. God's

2010-05-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

The day at work had gone really well. I was being chummy, funny, conversant, and overall having fun!

But, then, as I was walking into the freight room to put away some wrapping stuff, one of the guys was talking about me with another one of the guys. The first guy was stating, quite confidently, that I liked this other guy.

My first reaction was shock, stopping in my tracks. I wanted to burn a whole in the dude! Who in the world does he think he is? He doesn't even know me!! I do not like any guy at this time in my life! I'm very happy being single, and am rather content in my singleness (God is good!!!).

I do know that I'm called to get married and have a family, eventually. But I am so not ready for this in life! Waiting seems like a very good idea to me right now :)

Anyhow, in my shear shock, which rapidly turned into a... ticked off-ness, putting away the packing stuff and marching back out was all I could do to keep from burning a non-literal-hole in the guys' back, with my eyes (yes, apparently, at least according to my younger brother, I do have laser eyes when I'm mad [not angry though])

I don't think I would have minded, so much, if I knew the guys were also Christian's, but thus far my doubts are trumping any hopes of such things.

The feelings I felt following anger were, strangely, that of being degraded. My worth trampled. My person hood depleted as something to talk about, not someone to talk with, in these dudes' minds. This is a rather disgusting feeling!

Sandra Huxtable's line came to my younger brothers' (same one who says I have lasers for eyes) lips:

"You men!"

YOU PREACH IT, GIRL!!!

(Except, I would totally erase the whole "man" thing and replace it with, "guy!")

Now, does this have an actual affect on who I am in Christ?

Not unless I give it a foothold in that door, which I will not!

I've taken to wearing a clay cross with wire twisted around it, on a leather cord, and a pearl on a gold and silver chain, whenever I leave the house any more.

The cross reminds me, personally, that I am nothing more than clay to God - dust particles with His life (water), creating clay, which He will mold into the shape He desires, if I give Him control.

The wire reminds me that in His strong, firm grip, I am safe (attaching the cross to the leather cord), and the cord: 3-strands are not easily broken (God, me and the Holy Spirit - of course Christ, but I talk with God as my Father, and the Holy Spirit is she who gives me wisdom, as stated in Scripture)

The pearl on the silver and gold cord is not as unique, but still personal:

I am HIS pearl of great price!

Being purified, as gold,

and as beautiful as silver...

I suppose another reason why the dudes' words, at work, bugged me so, was that they were based upon my physique (as the past two, "are you dating," questions are). Nothing personal. Not like any one could no, nor would they ask. It's not at all personal, and a rather judgemental statement.

As I'm working, I try so very hard to have the mentality that "in all I do, do it for Christ." Who knows! Maybe I've even entertained an angel or two?

But that simple, short phrase, that verbalization of an idea that had no founding, gave way to doubts in my own head: has everything I've been praying about, striving for in Christ, praying God would be who they see, and I would simply vanish into the decor of pet 'n grocery... Has this all be in vain? Do they see nothing more than a girl? Someone who blushes, maybe too easily, is obnoxiously silent in her job, and works like a fiend?

If so, I might just melt into a puddle of nothingness

and vanish into the void of life!!!

God is good all the time! As I'm sitting at the computer, on Face Book no less, sinking into the most pitiful pits of my interior self (quite narcissistic-ly I might add), a dear sister in Christ replied to a comment I made.

She said something beautiful, bringing new life, meaning and genuine-ity to my pearl necklace.

"Too many people float through life

glazed over,

plugging away, drives me nuts.

You're in there, connected, present,

lovin' life.

And God loves that about you!!!

He can use that to touch others.

(You can totally see that kind of light in someone)"

So maybe I'm just totally a dumb, emotionally-oriented girl, but this really struck me as, "Oh! Maybe that's what they are seeing, maybe!!! Maybe I haven't totally screwed up God's plan, and He really is using me, maybe!"

Maybe, maybe, there is, somehow, something God is doing, despite me, possibly even through me!! OOooh, I do hope so! I hope I can keep myself out of the way enough for HIM to work and I

"Disappear... without a trace!"

God richly bless and keep you,

As you too strive to vanish into His creation,

Allowing Him all the glory, allotting Him all that is (for He created it)

And stepping aside so "His will be done! On earth as it is done in Heaven!"

Amen and amen,

Miss Elisabeth

Thoughts for the Day... Sunday, =)

2010-05-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well this morning I went to church with my family; had a wonderful time of Praise and Worship, and felt thoroughly rejuvenated and filled up by The Lord.

Went to work, and, apparently, that "glow" personified itself in a "perkiness," which I was totally unaware of!

One of the guys I worked with commented on me being "perky this morning," and then asked me why :)

Opportunity #1: Got to share that it was church and family together that made my day (on a deeper level, God!)

Saw my manager, and handed her a lovely box of stuff for her Painting department. Smiling, she said thanks....

Opportunity #2: Special, personal delivery of items that do not belong in the Pet and Grocery Department (yes, this does include all painting, gardening, hardware and lumber supplies).... Sub opportunity: Got to wish my manager a Happy Mothers day, which she thoroughly appreciated, and beamed for the next forty-five minutes :-)

Took my lunch/ dinner/ 1/2 hr. required break for food, sat down, and really fought sleep :-P

BLAAA!

Was in the break room with one of the gentleman I know from Hardware, but he was reading the news paper. After he left, I was thoroughly alone! I twas wonderful!!!

The Bible verse that was read for church today kept pounding in between the two sides of my head and I had to find it and read it over.... and over... and over... and over... and over again...

Opportunity #3: 'Twas able to read the Bible at work!! This lead to me writing the entire verse down a couple of times and sticking one copy in my back pocket... Sub-opportunity: Had a piece of the Bible to read to myself whenever I wanted to throughout the rest of the day...

After break I accidentally broke a bag of something, and it needed tape. Walked up to my department desk, retrieved the tape, and was asked by one of my co-workers "What have you done?!" After telling him that I did break it, and that I now was fixing it, he order that I owe him twenty bucks (a number following me all stinking day *laughs*).... I considered the options before me:

a) comply and mock-hand him money

b) do the whole "oh, c'mon," stupid-not-any-fun-boring-too-common-response

c) Be a total rebel and do the unexpected...

Feeling highly, *ehem*, "perky," from reading my Bible and stuffing some in my pocket, my mouth broke loose into a smile and took over... A grin, really. That dark, oh look, ha ha, I will now make you suffer, kind of grin...

I mock-spat in his hand.

The dude grimaced and wiped his hand on his shirt!!! *laughs hysterically*

Opportunity #4: Used the situation to " my advantage; grabbed the opportunity to have the upper hand and covertly expressed my conviction that I owe no man nothing, at this time in life.

I am solely Gods'!!

The lovely, adventuresome-day, in little but meaningful ways mind you, ended beautifully. Dad had to take some notes over to the office and I had the opportunity to drive with him. Was wonderful :)

Opportunity #5: Daddy time! Can't beat that ;)

Dad was gonna put on a Hebrew-language CD, but I asked him if we could talk instead. There are many questions I have about humanity and how humans function and work...

Opportunity #6: Asked my siege father for advice, information and his opinion on the relationships and people-types at work. This was very much well worth the getting-out-there and asking!

And now, my dear friend, I am going to say goodnight! Sleep well!! Sleep dreams :)

See you in the morning!

Enjoy the sun-rise, sleep deeply, knowing that, God has inscribed you on the palms of His hands...

Opportunity #7: Passing the blessing along!

El Roi: GOD SEES YOU!

God Richly Bless and Keep you!

Miss Elisabeth

Opportunity #8: You have many opportunities in your mundane-day-to-day-life. What are they? Are you going to shove your foot in the door and fling it open, or let it slam shut?

You can change the world: One step at a time. (whether this be one aisle at a time, one customer at a time, one prayer at a time, or one meal at a time, or one diaper at a time

Just keep swimming ;)

"Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;

your walls are continually before Me.

Your builders hurry;

your destroyers and devastators

will depart from you.

LIFT UP YOUR EYES AND LOOK AROUND!"

Isaiah 49:16-18 NIV

Humph!... And... sigh.... Really?

2010-05-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

(For the purpose of this writing, the terms, "pastor," "preacher," "leader," "evangelist," "fisher of men," and "disciple," will all be separated into different meanings.
Being a
Pastor - a person who has a personal and emotional connection and investment with you, as someone they care about, care for, and love genuinely. They know who you are and are personally invested in your spirituality and emotional/ spiritual state of being.
Preacher- a man, or woman, who speaks publicly in the church at the pulpit on Sundays (these types of humans are much more common than pastors)
Leader- a person who carries a certain amount of charisma, which attracts others to them. People naturally flock to these people to be directed for a common vision and goal. These people have a clear direction, vision, mission, commission, calling and goal for their life: their lives are this vision.
Evangelist- a person, man or woman, who's main mission in life is to spread the gospel to the far reaches (and close knit) of the earth. They see their job in life as sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with those they come into contact with, in a formal way (public speaking, preaching, etc.)
Fisher of Men- these people are a certain type of evangelist, but less formal. Their main form of reaching the earth is through their life style, choices and how they live. In the seemingly mundane ways they shine the light of Jesus Christ.)

The whole doctrinal argument about Science vs. (or and God) has been hammering at my mind lately. Well, this is not entirely true. I do have some vague idea of why I am stuck thinking about the scientific factual evidence of God (despite the very fact that Science cannot prove anything).
Now, please don't get me wrong. This is not necessarily a questioning of the my faith (God does in fact exists; Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God did die on the cross and resurrected himself on the third day after his death; there is no way to the Father (God) except through the Son (Jesus) - this I believe), but rather a questioning and digging deeper into my faith; begging the question. Thinking the harder to think "I don't wanna 'cause my brain will hurt" thoughts. I am reading a book based around the arguments of C.S. Lewis, David Hume and Bertrand Russell, which has thoroughly captured my interest.
The ideas surrounding a non-believers conviction that there cannot be a higher Deity (a. the world is evil, b. there are two Deity's pulling against each other, c. the Deity is quite despondent and non-interested in the human condition), has thoroughly captivated my mind, and for the time being, my heart.

What is the basis behind these accusations?
Do these people have a faith in something?

What do these humans believe?

All three of these men are obviously deeply intellectual, have spent a great deal of time and thought in their convictions and beliefs, and, for the most part, they had to sacrifice something for their beliefs making them that much more believable.
As I read, I find one of my frustrations with the church surfacing: our "pastors," or more appropriately titled "preachers," do not answer the hard questions. The most common answer to the hardest of life's questions, I have seen, felt, heard, and been told myself, are:

"You just need to have faith,"

"Get over it,"

"it could have been worse,"

"at least x didn't happen,"

"it'll be OK in the end."

Ummm... can you please excuse me while I go gag...

*gag, gag, gag* *choke* *cough* *cough* *cough* *gag*

As I am thoroughly fed up, sick of, tired and worn out from, jaded because of, horrified by and embarrassed by my personal incapability to answer some of these hard questions, I happen to have set upon a personal mission to find out why in the world certain things happen, how they happen, and what Christians are called to do besides "stand by, pray, fast and read the Bible."
Alrighty, so perhaps you have picked up on the fact, over various writings, that I'm more of a "DO!" type of person. I cannot stand standing around twiddling my thumbs. If I am ever imprisoned in some small 6x6 (4x4) ft space, you can be certain that I will have a) learned another language b) written a voluminous novel, c) created a new language complete with diphthongs, feminine, masculine and neuter case endings, d) finally mastered higher math to the point of brilliancy e) gone completely and hysterically insane.
Because of this detesting for the simple, easy, basic and nauseatingly heartless.... er... normal answers to the world, I started reading 'God and the Reach of Reason,' by Erik J. Wielenberg, as well as "Dark Night of the Soul," by Thomas Moore.

This morning, pouring over Wielenberg's book, I began feeling highly frustrated, rather agitated and thoroughly malcontent. My mind began running over the various reasons that people don't believe in a Deity (brought to the table by 'God and the Reach of Reason.')

Why can't people simply be quieted with the answer, "you just need enough faith?"

Struck by the stupidity of the question, my mom's constant reminder to my siblings came to mind, "God gave you a brain! You were made to use it!"

So, my question is now,

Is it more displeasing to God for you to actually seek the Truth with all your might, asking the hard questions, begging the question, giving the question the benefit of the doubt,

or...

to not question at all and simply stuff yourself with the negligent answer of "just have faith."

(Yes, I do believe there are many things in life that don't have an answer. Human beings, by design, seem to be cravers of answers. There will be many, many things in life which will never produce an answer; at least, not until we reach the other side of Heaven. And I do believe there is a time and season to "just have faith," but I am also thoroughly convicted that "simply having faith," and doing nothing, seeking nothing, and thinking through nothing is not only slothful, but even spitting in the face of the God who created you to think!)

God richly bless you and keep you,

Miss Elisabeth

Excerpt Of Literature

2010-04-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

Part I

Meanwhile, Great-heart commanded the others to find crowbars and wedges. pulleys, and ropes wherewith to pull down the walls of Doubt. "There must not remain one stone upon another that shall not be thrown down," commanded he.

In the process of searching for tools, Honest and the two brothers found themselves amid the clutter and trash of the (dead) giant (Despair's) apartment (for 'tis oft the case that the servants of evil are quite messy. And the reason? Why, to drive away any angel visitants from the kingdom of light - for amidst confusion they cannot long abide).

Then Joseph shouted down from the apartment window, "Great-heart! You should see a these statues of naked people here in the witch's (the giants wife, Diffidence) apartment!"
"Remember your covenant, Joseph," he warned. "Look not upon them, lest you be defiled by them."

"What then?"
"Obey the Scriptures. Smash them!"
So Joseph kept his soul pure by keeping his eyes above the necks of the voluptuous statues. One by one thirteen idols where beheaded and smashed into heaps of dusty rubble.
Then James came forth from the library carrying several ancients books and reading them amusedly from one of them. Shouting from the window he said, "Great-heart!" The Giant even has a library of joke books. Why, here is one called 'Nations Geography' that speaks of millions of years to create one little worm! Can you imagine!"
" 'Tis science- falsely so-called. Those books are the very cornerstone of Doubt. Burn them. Burn them all!"
"What about these funny paintings of monkeys turning into men?"
"To the flames with them!" Commanded Great-heart. "Don't even look upon them. Let us return this castle (of Doubt) to the jungle."
So they fell hard to destroying the abominable statues, vile images, deceitful books, and all the instruments and appendages of demon worship. Then they set out to bring down the walls and towers of Doubting Castle (which was not so hard now that the cornerstones had been consigned to the flames.)

- (in the dungeon, Matthew and Samuel are releasing prisoners of the dead Despair, and Doubting Castle) -

"There was a loud creaking sound as Matthew forced back the rusty door, saying, "There you are, professor. Free as a bird."
"Thank you, lad. Thank you very much. You may address me as Dr. Liberal."
"Don't thank us, Doctor," responded Matthew. "Thank God."
"God! Hmmph," snorted the man as he gathered up some papers. "Don't you know yet? There is no such a thing as God!"
"What!" Exclaimed Matthew incredulously. "No God!"
"You heard me correctly, lad. God is a figment of man's imagination - word invented to describe undiscovered technology."
"But the religion of Christ..."
"Ah, yes. Religion - a powerful tool of the priestly caste used to control weak men's minds."
Just then came a thunderous crash as another pillar of Doubt crashed to the ground.
"We, say what you want, friend," answered Matthew nervously. "We have opened the door to freedom. You can either escape with us for find your own way out."
"Out! Ha! This dungeon is an intricate maze from which none have escaped. How do you propose to find a way out? He challenged belligerently.
"We'll pray at each point of decision," answered Matthew confidently.
"Pray! Mocked the man with an all-knowing chuckle that sent ripples cascading down his long, flowing academic robes. "Ha, ha, ha! Surely you can't be serious!"
"We also accompany our prayers with action," added Samuel.
"Action? What action?"
"Well," said Samuel as he picked up a loose cobblestone, every time we encounter a mirror of confusion (which was seemingly on every wall of the dungeon in order to bring confusion to the walkers of the dungeon halls) we make our way easier by smashing it."
"What! Hey! Wait, wait, wait!" He protested. "This maze of Doubt has taken years to construct! It is a word-famous work of art!"
"Built for the destruction of souls!" Declared Matthew.
"Souls! Bah!" Scoffed the man. "There are no souls. This life is all I have."
"Well then, all the more reason to follow us out lest all you have be lost," answered Matthew. "A stone strait ahead, Samuel."
And this Samuel did wish smashing success.
"Stop!" Cried the scholar.
"Another other to the right, Sammy."
"I said stop!" Shouted the earned professor amidst the sounds of shattering glass. "You are desecrating fine art!"
"We are saving our lives!" Shouted Matthew amid the thunderous sounds of another great battlement crashing down above them. "Our brothers don't know about this maze. They must think we're already out."
"Brothers! And just what are your barbaric brothers doing up there?" Demanded the professor.
"They are destroying Doubting Castle."
"What! and what about a the giant's (Despairs) exquisite statues?""Well, if I know master Great-heart, they are' no doubt reduced to a heap of dust by now," answered Matthew. "Come along now."
"And what about he paintings?"
"Probably gloating away in a cloud of smoke. Are you coming?"
"And the library?"
"The same. Come, everyone. Hurry! Lead the way, Samuel." So Samuel started out, towing Despondency and (his daughter) Much-afraid (whom they had found in the dungeon earlier) along by their hands. Matthew, loathe to lose the indignant scholar, tried once again to persuade him. "And you? Are you coming?"
"You destructive barbarians! Away with you!"
"Do you know the way out?"

"I don't need your ignorant help, if that's what you mean!"

"We have the only light." (the light was the life of men, and the light shined in the Darkness: John 1)

"Light? Light is only an impingement of photons on our retina causing complicated molecular changes that send electrical signals to the inner recesses of our brain."

"What?"

"In plain English, light is only an illusion."

"That's funny. It works well enough for me. And what about darkness?"

"What is real? What is not? Who really knows?"

"I do. Follow me and see!"

"Matthew!" Cried Samuel from far up the tunnel. Then came another great crashing sound.

"Coming! Come on, friend. We can debate truth up top."

"Truth! What is truth? Can it even be debated?"

The renewed sounds of falling timbers and crashing stones added further urgency to Matthew's voice. "Later. Later!" he commanded. "You must hurry!"

A shower of dust and debris from above added weight to Marthe's command and even the professor saw that philosophical discussions could wait for another day. "Oh, very well," answered he petulantly. "Just let me get my Doctor's degree. Takes years to earn one you know. A fellow can't get a decent job without one."

Another collapsing wall shook the earth and sent a cloud of dust roiling down into the dungeon.

.... Turning back, (Matthew) was dismayed to see nothing by the Doctor's backside as he dug among all his many articles and dissertations (looking for his Doctor's degree).

"Be right with you. I seem to have misplaced my degree," muttered the scholar. In his frantic search he scattered reams of paper about in a virtual snowstorm. "I could have sworn I had it right here. I look at it every morning, you know. Perhaps I have hit it under the chamber pot."

"Forget it! There is not time"

"Time? Time is only another illusion. But my degree is my touchstone of reality. Now where on earth did I put it? Perhaps in my dissertation."

"... Well, I'm going, sir. Catch me if you can." And with that, Matthew turned to rejoin Samuel and his charges who were growing increasingly fearful of being buried alive.

"I'll be right there," muttered the over-intelligent Doctor of Philosophy as he continues his search in the rapidly darkening dungeon. "My! You would think that in such a small cell as this, one could certainly find a simple, gold-leafed degree, wouldn't you? Hmmm. Perhaps it is in the pocket of my gown..."

Meanwhile, Matthew had gotten himself caught up and was leading the ascent up the last, twisting stairway. And so they made their escape just moments before a tottering wall crashed down and buried the last exit from Despair's dungeon.... "

- Pilgrim's Progress, Part 2: Christiana. (An unabridged retelling of John Bunyan's immortal classic) -

Stepp'n Forward

2010-04-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

"If you take that first step into the unknown;

He won't let you go;

So what are ya wait'n for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities are trying to hold onto you;

You were made for more...."

About three weeks ago I started working at an excellent job. You might as well know, the jobs is at Menards. I work in the wonderful-sounding "Wall Coverings Department."
Sound glamorous? Well, one doesn't realize that part of the wall coverings department is Pet-'N Grocery.

It's a good job, don't get me wrong! It's good money for good work! I'm learning stuff (like what a... uuhh.... what is it called??... stuff about Hardware that I didn't know before :-D).

There are a few people who I like hang'n out with (such a relative term when it revolves around body-building-type-work). Some really moral, decent, good, hard working people. People I can relate to, really, which is totally awesome!
In my department, however, there is the looming possibility that I'm the only Christian (committed or non)... a rather... intimidating type of possibility. I know for sure of two other guys in the store who are Christian.

I have also noticed in my jobs previous this one that, whether or not your in a Christian environment, one does not talk about their faith. Period. The end. Don't even think about discussing it, 'cause you'll just get a really odd looked, and probably marked a "prude."
So, I have fallen back to the strategy the other Christian's (who I have no doubt are there) have taken to. This strategy is brilliant! It should be patent! And oh so easy to! And the entire process takes four simple steps.
A) Silence.
B) Don't react (ever)
C) Continue your secluded, lonely, silence.
D) Don't overtly act like your a Christian.
Disclaimer: Don't worry. They'll figure it out any way (if you're walkin' your talk). Just try not to be too prudish.
Simple, huh?!
Thought it would be real great to just follow this procedure and get around the fact that we, as Christians, are called to "go and make fishers of men."
HA HA!
Thought I could totally get away with the whole Jonah idea, and hide from my calling (as a follower of Christ.) Thought it would be simple to fraternize with the "other side" of the world, without actually having to be, act our my faith in overt ways that those around me obviously see.
PAH!
Ladies, and gentlemen, please don't try this at home, work, or anywhere else.
"The Truth" will most definitely "set you free." And "there is nothing hidden from the Lord."
God thoroughly laughed at me. In my face, rather hysterically, if I didn't know any better.

Listening to Britt Nicole's, "The Lost Get Found" before going to work on Friday, I was thinking it would be so incredibly easy to continue my hiding, and not come out and admit that, "yes, I'm basically enmeshed with the church. Grew up in it, worked in it, ministered with it, and committed to it! Yup! That's me!"
The irony of God's timing is brilliant. Really! He ought to be a comedian!

Friday evening, one of the guys who works in Hard Ware (which is next to my department) came over to talk for a couple minutes, during a "dead as a door-knob" time. The typical, "how's work? Ya enjoyin' it," type of stuff. Not rocket science or anything.
But then, oh to my amazement, I cringed. The next question, whose answer I wasn't ready to totally scream to the rest of the world, but a skeleton that I couldn't very well hide in the closet much longer, as it was beginning to become more of a nuisance than help.
"Where did you work before this?"
I cringed. And, I'm sure, my sudden halt in lifting the over-sized dog-crate box up the ladder was more than obvious to this acquaintance.
"Uuhh.... Welll.... I worked in child care." HA HA!
"Oh. Where?" *all smiles*
Darn. It didn't work.
"At a church."
Now, one must remember that talking on the job is something that is heartily looked down upon by the managers if you are a good worker.
By this time, the guy from Hard ware had begun to edge his way back to his department, so it was really hard to tell what exactly the "oh" that followed meant. Despite my utter confusion to this not-at-all-strong, rather-apathetic-reaction, I have found it's one that actually kind'a common here. Sort'a, and not really.
People either react with raised eye-brows, and a disapproving shake of their head, followed by retorts of, "Christians are boring," "you never do anything," "you're a prude," etc., etc. Or a non-reactive-reaction.
The latter is far less common, and terribly annoying.
Especially when there isn't even a hint of bias.
UGH!

"Don't let your light go down; Don't let your fire burn out;
'Cause some where, somebody needs a reason to believe.
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out! That's how the lost get found! That's how the lost get found!
So if you get the chance, are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your finger tips,
and you know you've got the chance to change it."
~ Britt Nicole, 'Lost Get Found'

Britt Nicole's new CD has been my new favorite, and constant reminder for
who I am,
who God is,
and what He expects me to be.

a) Follower and obeyer of His commands and words

b) A Fisher of Men.

Which reminds me of my all-time favorite Sunday School Song,
"Go and be Fishers of men, fishers, of men, fishers of men... Will you follow me? Will you follow me? Will you follow me? God and be fishers of men, fishers of men, fishers of men.... And follow me..."
We used to sing that every Sunday when I was little, in the South West. My Sunday School teacher at that church was committed to the calling of going out into the world yet not being of the world and inviting people onto the The Way of the King, through our thoughts, words and actions.

In all my previous jobs, I was "a Christian" by default.

This time, I'm a Christian, on the job, with a mission, and a deep conviction, by choice.

Which means that all that I think, say and do must reflect that.

The whole concept of Prudishness is an absolute must to a committed Christian's decisions in life.
The call of evangelism demands a higher standard, a standard you hold yourself to.
A standard you don't ask of others.
I'm sorry, this sounds prideful, doesn't it? I'm just trying to process through some stuff!
But as followers of Yhwh, we have no choice! Christ never said, "uh, yeah, if you find that one thing really hard to believe, than don't worry about it!" He makes it very clear that "Believe me or not!" "If you are not for me, than you are against me..." And again, "there is no way to the Father except through Me!" Malachi states this way back in the old Testament,

"'They will be mine,' says the Lord of Hosts, 'on the day that I prepare My own possession,

and I will spare them as a man spares his own sons who serve him.

So you will again distinguish between the righteous and the wicked,

between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him."

(Malachi 3:17-18)

I'm not saying anything about those who are on both sides of the fence (necessarily, but certainly not pointedly). I'm just stating, that one must decide one way or another. I happen to decide to be proactive in my faith, rather than it being a fall-back, or something I do when my mental and emotional states of being switch to auto-pilot (when things get stressful). Not to say I wasn't committed before, just another step in the grand scheme of things.

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other.

"You look around, it's staring back at you;

Another wave of doubt will pull you under;

You wonder: What if I'm overtaken,

what if I never make it,

what if no one's there?

Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown;

He won't let you go!

What are you waiting for?"

Both the beginning and ending quotes are from Britt Nicole's "Walk on Water," from her "The Lost Get Found" album (2009).

Certain Women...

2010-04-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

*sniff* *sniff* sniff*

Let me just go grab that box of tissues... hang on a second!

Okay, the book Certain Women, by Madeleine L'Engle, is an incredible, masterfully woven piece of art!

The story of David is one that most of the world is, at least relatively, familiar with. The Christian world is certainly familiar with Dave's tale. Chosen-ness by God, betrayal, attempted murder, romance, adultery, death, redemption, power-grabs.... True Drama. Perhaps even a tragedy. No, it is a tragedy. An unresolved ending in regards to David's family.
His spirituality - his relationship with God, perhaps more of a comedy: an unexpected ending!

L'Engle weaves together a tale for you paralleling that of King David's family life; romance, anguish, divorce, unfaithfulness, adultery, unforgiveness, but in the end... redemption!!

Ahh, sweet, sweet redemption!

'My strong habitation, where unto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandments to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.'
I do believe this hymn, 'Be Though My Strong Habitation!" more or less sums up this wonderful book.

A definite must read for L'Engle fans :)

God richly bless and keep you this week!
Miss Elisabeth!

"And David spake unto the Lord the words of this song in the day that the Lord had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies, and our of the hand of Saul.
And he said, 'The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
The God of my rock; in him will I trust; he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.
And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind.
He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them that hated me: for they were too strong for me.
He brought me forth also into a large place: He delivered me, because he delighted in me.'"
II Samuel 22:103,11,18,20.

So much to write... So little time... A listening ear?

2010-04-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

What is the purpose of writing but to express ones' opinions, thoughts, deepest longings and dreams.
Too many times I have picked up a book, read a blog, or happened upon an essay or speech that was completely lacking in emotion, passion, and all over-personification.
The author had no personal connection to their subject, leaving the reader entirely wanting!
Beyond aggravating!

I suppose I can relate, however.... No, I know for a fact that I can more than relate. I understand to a T the angst a writer feels as they begin the process of bringing to public attention their innermost being. Or in my case, I understand the anxiety associated with slightly-burnt-orange "Publish Post" button on the lower left corner of my computer screen.
"What will the reader think? What if I offend them?"

When Anne Shirley tells Myrilla Cuthbert, "Oh Myrilla, if you only knew how much I wanted to say but don't... you'd give me some credit."
The sign of a true "authorette!"

There are so many things I personally have written about, I could easily make at least a few volume-novels out of them. Whether they would actually be read or not is completely beyond me, nor do I have any inkling of desire to find out.
"The world may know my words, but it has no such privileges with my heart..."
("Jane Austen..." by Beth Pattillo, page 233)

But, as a writer by nature (writing in odd places, about whatever comes to mind, rain, sleet, snow or hail), I've come to a rather intimidating cross-roads: publish to the world those things, those thoughts and ideas, which are most dear to my heart - my more personal opinions and thoughts - and risk scrutiny and offending others, or continue hiding them away, carefully picking through those thoughts which are "acceptable" for public consumption, and those which I desire not to share with the world, for fear of being looked upon unkindly.

(Book of the Week: Jane Austen Ruined My Life, by Beth Pattillo)

Ummm....

2010-03-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

My grandparents are coming from the Mid West to visit, this weekend, through the middle of this coming week. I'm excited! They are supposed to be coming, around... well... They were supposed to be here by now...

:-/

Mom and grandma are going to look at light fixtures for the house, as well as kitchen appliances (like a refrigerator, stove, etc.)
One of my four cousins (from dad's side of the family, and the only "boy cousin" on this side of the fam.) are coming with them, which Miester Man and Banana are both excited about.
So, the coffee is hot and ready... and waiting... And the house is cleaned, sparkling, ready... and waiting... And mom is sick again :(
She's been fighting stuff for about a week, and of course, the cold-like-symptoms make them self oh-so-much-more-apparent. Zicam, tea and vitamins have become our close friends this year. Maybe to the point of being a little too close...
"Too close! A little too close!" (Aladdin)

And look who pulled into the drive!
My excitement is making butterflies form and flap, hyperactively, in my stomach, and I can't seem to type fast enough.... Gotta run!

Blessings in Christ Jesus,
Miss Elisabeth!

Three Hit-'N-Run Lines....

2010-03-27T16:55:00.001-07:00

I just realized...

"Run! Definitely run!"
~Avatar~

"Swim away! Swim away!"
~Finding Nemo~

"Run... ANYWHERE BUT HERE!"
~The Incredibles~

What is with all the running? I was scanning through all my mental-files of movie lines for an email I was sending a friend, and all three of these filled my mind. I had to laugh! Seriously people! What's with the running?!

Anyone have any insight?

Blessings in Christ,
Miss Elisabeth

P.S.
"She is runn'n, a hundred miles an hour, in the wrong direction..."

A) Does this mean she was running down a road with a "wrong way" sign on it?
B) After all the times our local radio station has played it, this kid has been running a looong time! (I don't think a human can physically handle all the running she has done, in one life-time)
C) I do like this song, but I actually enjoy listening to the artists....
D) No, I'm not slamming the song.... but after hearing nearly every-other day since the album first came out, I could live without it...
E) I am SO GLAD if this song ministers to you! Praise the Lord! God be the glory!! Please don't sing this song around me!
F) I guess that's four hit-'n-run-lines... not three...

A month?! REALLY? ALREADY?

2010-03-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

Wow! I cannot believe it's been an entire month since I last wrote on here!! Goodness gracious! Time flies! Or, as my dear, loving, beloved, cherished (great) grandmother tells me (whenever I talk with her on the phone) "wait until your my age! You go to sleep and you wake up ten years later..."
EEK!
That kind'a (totally) happened this month (doesn't it happen every month?)
So, I'll just try to sum up what has happened this month in a point-by-point manner :)

A group of home-school families (including mine) went to a local symphony on the first of this month. It was phenomenal! Miss Banana thoroughly enjoyed the ballet, which accompanied the fantastic music. The afternoon was spent at a local out-door nature campus where the younger children in the group snow-shoed, and bird watched (who knew there were birds to watch in the Gr. Plains winter?!). The older people in the group went cross-country skiing.
The builders have totally torn out all the (inside of the house's) walls, replaced the stair case leading from the back door into the house; gutted the bathroom(s), replaced walls upstairs, and switched around/ took out closets in (all) the rooms upstairs. They have also replaced the front porch window, which looks absolutely beautiful (and unfortunately the computer will only allow me to upload so many pictures today :-P). The house smells wonderfully like a construction sight... aahhh... fresh cut wood...
The younger three kiddos found a raccoon hang'n in the loft of our barn at the property, and exchanged curious stares for several minutes. I joined the younger three up in the loft, where the masked bandit looked at us like we were the strangest creature to walk the face of the earth, and how dare we disrupt his nap! (The creature was huge, and 'twas quite the experience!)
Mom drafted me into doing science with Banana and Miester Man.
The outcome of the above? I typed in the term, "butterfly" on our library catalogue search engine and (literally) clicked "request copy" on every informational-related book regarding butterflies (and moths)... We went to the library, I picked up the books, and then extracted every book I could find in the adults section of "butterflies" (yes, including those huge 24x30" dinosaur-sized books with all the waaay-cool-too-up-close-and-personal/organic-pictures)... we read all of them!!!

- I am sorry the photo is upsi-down...

Miester Man and Miss. Banana then made copies of all the factual information we could find in the butterfly/ moth books (butterflies anatomy, life-cycle, grammar, etc. and so forth)

(yes. . . I am hiding from the camera behind a

Muppet/ picture of a butterfly that my youngest sister made . . . and? . . . your point? . . .)

Miss. Banana, always the first to find any sort of creepy-crawly (and promptly adopt it as "hers...") found this lovely little monster.... I mean... ehem, critter, in our kitchen... ew.... And it's still alive... in our kitchen... in a Tupperware container. I am not yet convinced that it is (actually) a caterpillar, but that doesn't matter to Banana. She insists that it's "a baby butterfly," and the cruel elements of earth would destroy it if she let's it back into it's natural habitat (which in fact, would happen, due to the incredulously mean-cold-weather, which has improved over the last couple of weeks).

Upon completing reading the mountain-of-books, creating a colorful binder of pictures and facts regarding butterflies, getting in arguments with the kiddos over what butterflies they have in fact actually seen in really life and the ones they haven't (because they're in a rain-forest somewhere, and Banana and Miester have seen only parts of the States), getting bugged out by bug-zilla, and over-saturating my brain with fun-yet-bizarre-yet-fascinating-and at the same time really weird information about this (wonderful) earth God has created, I threw myself at Pax Romama's feet (A.K.A.: "Mom") and begged her to un-enlist me (otherwise known as "fire") from this project...
Mom laughed, took a picture, and proudly displayed it all over kingdom come (/ the Internet/ her blog)

(L-to-R: Feche Boy with a butterfly on his shoulder, Miester Man thoughtfully comprehending the world with a fellow Monarch-wanna-be)

To ease the rift in our (mom's & my) relationship, Pax Romama sent us (her resident-posterity) to The Butterfly House.

(L to R: Hannah touching a very curious looking, yet cute black butterfly :) and on the right a butterfly has "rested" (??? butterflies don't "sleep!!!!) on my shoulder

I've started reading (and intend on completing) Timothy Ferriss's The 4 Hour Work Week, am more than fascinated, and thoroughly enjoying it, yet don't have a clue what sort of entrepreneur-type-business I would start, if (a seriously hypothetical "i-f") I were to theoretically (someday) start a business (far down the road from here!)
After reading many (stupid) books on "self help" (it's always curious to me that people actually pick up these books to help themselves) I've sworn off every and all book with this sub-title donning a semi-perfect-looking-homo-sapien ["stupidstickfigureswithpoofylips... PAH! I am used to" reading about "(for) gods!" (raises hands, dramatically in the air)... like Brother Andrew, Mother Theresa and Corrie Ten Boon]
There is another book I started reading title... "Living O," I think.... but the author escapes me... It's rather fascinating. A non-fiction, about a 30-something year old gal, who challenges herself to live an entire year off the advice of Oprah Winfrey (to the letter). For someone (like myself) who is not in the loop of cultural fads, this is a highly captivating read, and I'm more than intrigued to complete the book (as soon as mom is done, which should be sometime late-tonight or tomorrow)

I hope that's a good up-date for y'all who are interested... Jeesh... Sorry it's taken me so long to actually log on a write something worth substance! It's been a crazy year (almost four-months into 2010 - isn't that just crazy-insane?)

Something that has crossed my mind, which I've been unable to shake, is a challenge for myself. Totally non-conventional, perhaps a little (lot) crazy and it's not going to get me into any popular nothing (but at the rate I'm going, I've just given up on that all together *laughs*). An idea has struck, bouncing between my ears, settling slightly here and there, but for the most part remaining rather firm (this is usually a good indication to me that God is trying to tell me something, and that I ought to pay heed!). The idea goes something along the lines of this:

Get "unplugged" for a year: no texting,
cell phone,
Facebook (closing my account).
Not reading any type media that's not immediately relevant to my life now
Internet,
news paper,
magazines.

What I would Hope to Accomplish?

Being more creative in my research (not using Internet, at all)
Being more pro-active and deliberate in my search for news, current events and politics (not passive-aggressive, as I see surfing the web and emails appear (to me) to be).
Face-to-face,
personal
one-on-one in my interactions with other people
Using this as an experiment to see how a semi-young-adult/ post-teenager would "survive."

I would not close my blog account, as this would be a way to "note" the progress/ information that's gathered through this experiment...

Anyhoo, so much to think, do, act upon, say, proclaim, announce... HA HA! But I must go no.

God richly bless and keep you,

Miss Elisabeth

Disclaimer: There have been some complaints about the spelling of my blog (e.g. family, friends, etc.). However, this cannot be helped. I have done my utmost best to correctly spell and use the English Language in the most correct way possible. However, there is not perfect way, and being a person from "the younger generation," I don't see how this can be helped . I do use "spell-check," which is based upon each programmers opinion on the "correct" way to spell a term (the term "correct," itself, is a highly relative term that has little meaning in today's society, I have found, much like the terms "organic," "fashionable," "100% natural" and "normal." If you do not understand what I am saying, please look up these terms in a Websters 1800's dictionary, and compare it to the way modern society defines these terms, then compare these two definitions with the way modern society uses these terms. ) Thank you!

Poetry, by Henry Wordsworth Longfellow

2010-02-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

A Psalm of Life

By Henry Wordsworth Longfellow

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!-

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrows,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow

Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, tough stout and brave,

Still, life muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not dumb, driven cattle!

Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no future, howe'er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act,-act in the living Present!

Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on he sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o'er life's solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait.

Think Goose!

2010-02-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon and evening our family had a "Family Meeting," as our family gatherings is called when there is a more formal purpose to the event.

The discussion that followed our "Family Meeting" announcement, was somewhat, okay totally unconventional.

Questions such as "what do you see lacking in your life? What would you like to be doing that you are not doing now? Are you able to fulfill all that the Lord has placed on your heart, what/how? What do you feel you need to be doing that you aren't able to do because of the circumstances and resources (or lack there of) in our life right now? If there were one place in America that you would like to live, where would it be? If there were one place in the world that you would like to live, where would it be?"

Personal questions, such as these, were then written down on a white-board, thanks to my wonderful mother (who's long-hand is actually legible, unlike most of the rest of us), and then dictated into one of my note books, thanks to myself (whose hand writing can either be legible or mistaken for a code, depending on the speed and mood at the moment :).

As mom wrote onto the white board, and I moved all that was white-board-writting onto hard-cover (using the method of note-taking, of course), I began to notice some startling similarities.

For starters, where we would like to live:

Miester man stated that he would like to continue living out on "the acreage," and he "really hadn't thought about living any where else." (We moved there when he was three, and my baby sister was an infant).

My youngest sister responded with "I would like to live in Ohio, and if there was any where in the world that I would like to be, it would be Florida... It's so warm there, and it is beautiful! So many trees and plants! And palm trees are beautiful" (she has never been to FL before ;) We thought that was so cute!)

Theoderek's answer was simple, "Either Texas or Alaska" (way to give us an example of "juxtaposition," bro!) "and either Mongolia or Africa, are the places I would like to live, if I could, any where in the world."

Me, myself and I, answered with absolute clarity of mind. "I want to live in the South West(Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico area), or, definitely Israel." I can say the latter with complete confidence in myself. Israel is a place I have wanted to live, at least for a short time, since I could comprehend that the world is a humongous globe that has hundreds of places to be discovered (by quizzical little girls, that is :)

Mom responded, surprisingly, nearly exactly the same way I did. "Southwest area/ Northern New Mexico, Northern California, or Israel..."

Gosh! Do Great Minds Think Alike, or what?

Dad, after truly thinking about it, confessed that there was actually no particular place that he would like to live more than any other place, but that he would like to like in Israel for a short time, because of political unrest, violence, war, etc. It being a war-torn, conflicting, highly political country and all, making it rather unsafe for Americans (but I still want to live there some day...)

We then discussed what each of us "thought this family was about." What is it that we each feel is an important part that makes up our family.

Again, the similarities were most surprising.
More than once the phrase "we're about education" was mentioned, at least by the older people in the home. The two Little's (Miester and Banana) really didn't understand what was being discussed, and decided that blowing up Polly-town with Bionicles was a lot more fun than listening to "what our family is about." (of course Banana objects, stating that Bionicles are "stupid" and "don't do that to my set up!" Which ended in a bickering match. But hey, it's family bonding, right? I'm just kidding... sort 'a...)

Dad is also fascinated with the Hebraic culture/ church, and has a heart for supporting this. The Hebraic culture is very much family based, and so we as individuals (and therefore, as a family) agreed that this, also, was highly important to our family as a whole.

All this similar thinking takes me back to recall 'The Aristocats,' when the geese, Amelia and Abigail Gabble are telling the rich family of cats how they are to behave, when Amelia and Abigail give them direction...
"Think goose....." "Yes, my dear, think goose!"

The mother cat replies along the lines of, "Think goose?"

The "Think Goose," concept entails waddling (like a goose) and following in line, behind none other than the Gabble Gals. In perfect sync the group of two geese, two cats and three kittens follows to the music, in perfect sync, waddling their way into town. How charming!

As a family, we, in a sense, are called to, "think goose."

Think as one. Through thinking as one, we will, eventually, act as one. One family. One body. One movement. One earth-rumbler... Well, okay, maybe it doesn't have to be quite that dramatic, but it certainly wouldn't hurt... :)

What better way to begin this process than with sharing our dreams: dream for ourselves, dreams for the familyl What resources we are lacking which is keeping us incapable of completing those dreams. And then, of course, acting on these dreams. Acting on the next step to completing our family dreams, and individual dreams....

And what better time, than now. A time where we, as a family, are in the midst of a serious life-shift.

What better time to hear, listen to, look and consider who is feeling and what it is that causes unhappiness in our family... No better time "Than the now..." (Edna Mode, 'The Incredible's)

And you, my friend, what better time to grow as an individual, grow as a family, and share your dreams, than "The Now?!" So your family, too, may "Think Goose!"

God richly bless and keep you safe, bless and protect your family, and lead you into His Divine wisdom, in all that you do!

Miss. Elisabeth

Crowned!

2010-02-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

By Julie Linker. (Actually there is no exclamation point in the title of the book, I just added it to look more impressive)

I absolutely adore Julie Linker's writing style in this witty, yet down-to-earth, and a bit too organic, fictional novel. The "journal style" writing that Linker exudes in this books is a lot of fun, creating a real-life world for the audience to jump into, both feet!

Basically, the book is about a 16 year old young woman, Presley Ashbury, a Pageant Queen, defining herself as a young woman over the course of a two week period, proceeding her big "Pageant Day."
Of course, there is a terrible and vicious villain, Megan Leighton, a tall, long-legged, dark haired, "freaky green eyed" task-oriented sixteen year old, who is absolutely determined to win the crown and defeat Presley.
And, to add to the "duh," affect (which is rather witty), there are two gorgeous young men involved (you've gotta love a book with handsome, masculine, buff, and "brotherly" young lads!! - lol). As every (smart, involved with teenagers, especially girls) knows, when two girls are involved, and two "hot" young men are involved (young men who the girls like) there is usually trouble brewing.
And, of course, the trouble brewing definitely gets mixed in with the whole Pageant affair.

Stunning insight into the minds, and world of our young ladies, in today's culture. It's right up there in my list with "The Body Project," as far as research in the realm of the adolescent female is concerned. It also has some, quite surprising, yet at the same time 'duh,' information regarding the whole pageant system.

**Spoiler??? Alert (as in, it spoils the innocence of the book)**
- The b-word is used to describe young woman, on more than one occasion. If b---- isn't used, then "slut," is. Name calling is, apparently, a national sport amongst our teenagers.
(And today, we'll be scoring on
a) creativity,
b) profanity
c) harshness
d) personalization... no offense... wait... if your offended, maybe you too should reconsider your use of your Mother Tongue.)
- Sexuality and intimacy with the boys/ young men is discussed.
- At the pageant the girls share a hotel room with one other girl. Think dorm rooms. It's pretty realistic (in Presley's case, who shares a room with Megan, rather traumatic, and graphic)
- I would basically rate the book a PG-13 for Language, sexual scenes, and some violence (fantasizing slapping someone/ killing someone, being slapped, etc.)
- Would be a sleazy book if it wasn't a) so darn funny, b) quite true to the dog-eats-dog life young woman grow up in, today.

I highly recommend this book to those who are interested in learning more about the adolescent female-teen, pageants or just need a good, light hearted, sappy, "brain candy," laugh :)

2010-02-15T20:38:00.000-08:00

"By 1995 American women and girls were spending more than $100 million on "cellulite busters," at $60 a tube."

"Liposuction has become the most popular kind of cosmetic surgery in the United States."

"I really had little to teach them (adolescent girl students) about what it means to live in a culture of unrelenting objectification where women's bodies are used to sell everything..."

"One million teenage girls get pregnant in America every year... only 45% of the pregnancies come to term and are cared for by the biological family."

"In America, girls under fifteen are at least five times more likely to give birth than girls of the same age in other industrialized countries."

I can go on and on with the stunning statistic given in this incredible book, about the evolution of the American girl: From corset laced to promiscuity. Joan Jacobs Brumberg uses the diaries of girls from the late 1800's to the mid-1990's as the back-bone of her incredible essay on what has happened to American teenage girls, and how

there really is a need to educate them as females.

How our culture has really "dropped the ball," figuratively speaking, in regards to training up this young women in how to be wise in their decisions as young women, how to act responsibly, think maturely, and realize that when their sexuality, being powerful, ought to be protected, and then how to protect it.

Starting with Menarche, Brumberg goes through the (rather short) list of ways young women are expected to make themselves presentable to the public (which should, more appropriately, be stated as "perfecting themselves for the ever-watching media.")

From the first signs of puberty (or menstruation) to the flaw-less skin-look; from svelte, dieting and image identity to the birth of shapeliness; from the cultural obsession with showing the pelvic bone in "trendy" jeans and swim-suits to head to near-toe piercings...

Brumberg covers all those bases which define the modern-female adolescents sexuality, how it has evolved, what America's concerns SHOULD be, and what we, as individuals can do to help the younger generation be more knowledgeable in who they are as young-feminine human beings.

(p.s. the only reason I finished this book in two days was I was, quite literally, obsessed with Brumberg's ideas, and simply captivated by the statistics and history this book is saturated in)

Knitting!

2010-02-10T09:39:00.001-08:00

Well I would rewrite the last post from my other blog (http://www.theartoffemininity.blogspot.com/) onto this blog. But for now a link will have to suffice, as I am running out of time, and spending extended amounts of time on the computer is rather boring...
To view my other blog, click on the title of this post

Many rich blessings!!

Miss Elisabeth

EVERYONE'S (getting) SICK!

2010-02-06T17:29:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAAH!!!!

In response to both mom, Hannah and Ethan getting sick (with the flu, no less), I have done something terribly drastic, and utterly disgusting!

Now....

"I'm feeling... happy..."

I got myself to this point of happiness, by following basic principles of health, nutrition, and antique medical skills... (yes, they do [sometimes] work)

Okay, c'mon, this isn't too drastic! Everyone should have some form of vitamin C supplement in their home. If you aren't, and have money to afford it, you should go out and get some. Vitamin C is the "wonder" vitamin in our home... at least for my sister, mom and I. If we have a cold "take vitamin C." Flu, vitamin C. In the morning, along with your Complete Multi, "don't forget your vitamin C." It's a wonderful little mineral that is quite essential for the well-being of humanity...
Okay... so I downed a few of these...

Next on the list, Vitamin D.... and... apparently you can get this in a "non-dry" form... at least, that's what's implied on the label, aye?! Weird!
Mom bought this Vitamin D after talking with a health-nut friend of ours (one of the many who have made their ways, comfortably, in our lives). Our... mom's?... friend buys this in the fall and "feeds it to all her children every day... they are rarely sick..." !? And why doesn't it work as an "Anti-illness-miracle-pre-cure-vitamin" for our family, well I don't have a clue!
But I took one of these... rather in terrifying fear of getting sick with *coughs* the flu, as apposed to a "Pro-active, Healthy Life Style" initiative.
:) Just one to satisfy me, thanks!

"Spirulina!" "Barley Grass..."
Sounds so Scientific, or idyllic (as if from some farm, far, far away).
Don't get your hopes up! This drink is fondly known of as
"Pond Scum,"
in our home...
"And I mean that in a very caring way!"

Basically one chokes down the watered-down, sea-cow-grass, while anxiously looking forward to the, literal, scum, sitting gleefully at the bottom of your unfortunate cup.
(And they make it look SO good on "Iron Man.")
One, tall, glass of this will set any human being up forever.
Actually, honestly, I can tell a physical difference when I drink a cup-a-day, and when I don't. It's not too bad (it might taste good with lemon juice in it), when watered down and well mixed, and after you get used to it... God definitely intended it for the Sea-Cows, to stay IN the Sea, and for SEA CREATURE CONSUMPTION ONLY!!
But... it's mineral-rich...

Last, but certainly not least, our vintage-miracle-remedies-antique-all-cure....

*drum roll please*

GARLIC!
This is, truly, the love of my culinary-kitchen life. Garlic makes the world go round. Garlic is an incredible flower-garden-decor. Garlic should be our National Plant. Garlic heals the sick. Garlic smells intoxicating. Garlic creates amazing kitchen-aroma. Garlic is a healing herb... *sigh*... What else needs to be said?

Garlic is amazing!

When we were on the acreage, I cooked everything (almost) with our fresh, home-grown garlic... (would cake taste good with garlic?)

If someone was coming down with some ailment, mom would promptly cut a clove of garlic of a fresh garlic-head, peel the skin off, and "offer" it to the ailing relation. It actually nearly always worked!!

And now....

I'M FLOATING IN HEALTH.... AND VITALITY.....

God richly bless you and keep you, and your entire family.

And may God heal you from the sickness' of the winter ;-)

Miss Elisabeth

A matter of Intensity

2010-01-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

"There have been times in my life when I felt bored and restless. It took a while, but eventually I discovered that the thing I was missing was intensity. Sometimes the swaddling of the comfort zone cloth begins to chafe a bit."
The black letters stand in a groups, forming crisp words against eh starch white monitor background.

A matter of intensity....
Boredom is a sickness that penetrates even the sturdiest of mind. It sinks in deep, and sometimes sucks you into it's mirey hole of quick-sand. Since I can remember, I have been, what my family calls, an "adrenaline junky."

*************************

"Daaaad... hurry up!" The little white-blond headed girl did not know if she actually said the words, or just felt them strongly well up inside her little body.
Her quiet manner was not any indication for the surge of desire that she felt in that moment.
Clear, blue, lapping waves beckoned to her,

"I'm waiting!" They cried out from the five foot pool... "Waiting for you to splash into my cool, liquid arms..."

The little girl's father gave her the same lecture he'd given her many times in the past, before coming to the pool which sat behind their home in Fuller student housing.
The lecture would not, by any means, have been lengthy to any college student, however, to a three year old, the dad's words seemed to trail on into eternity...

"Now wait just a moment, sweetie. Remember, I need to blow up this floaty, and put it on you so you have both on. Then you can go into the pool."
The child's big blue eyes studied her father... the orange plastic which was the floaty met her daddies lips, and he blew... hissss... the floaty slowly, steadily, lazily began filling up.

Gentle waves crashing against the pools edges, filling the blondie's ears.

"Daaaad... hurry UP!" She thought again.
The aqua-blue crystal waters reflection could be seen in the girl's eyes, matching them...
"Dad is taking too long..."

With that last thought, the lengthy three-year-old felt her leg muscles working beneath her long torso... the hot Southern Californian air rushed past her, grabbing at her hair; dry sunshine reflected off her white hair and tanned body, as the little imp flew to the edge of the pool...

SPLASH!

One floaty on, one floaty off.
"KENDRA ELIZABETH!"

**************************

"I'll count down from ten to one, and then you jump, okay?"
"Can't you count down from five?"
The blue-eyed girl looked up at the tall, scraggly young-man standing before her.

Uhh.... he looks middle-aged enough to be an older brother... I'll just look at him pitifully and see if he'll succumb to the pressure... She thought quietly.

The man raised an eyebrow, sizing the long, bean-pole of a child up.
"You sure you'll be OK?"
The eleven-year old gazed up into the mans eyes and nodded.
"You certain?" The young mans dark eye brows furrowed together appearing as one, long brow.
The girl nodded again...

All geared up, she stood at he edge of the two-story tower.The zip-line stretched before her looking so frail the girl wondered if it would snap when she reached the half-way point.
Asking the guide, the rough-man responded, "No. You go across it too fast. Besides, it's a cord, like the one's they use to build bridges."
He smiled good naturedly at the girl.

Standing at he very edge of the building, the blond headed child looked out across the vast mountainous range... Breathing deeply, she heard the guide holding the cord firmly, making sure everything was in order before flinging her into the great expanse of the earths atmosphere.
"Five..... four....." Excitement overran the girls' thoughts as she listened to the young man's deep voice counting down.
"Threeeee....... twoooooo........."

Leaping into the air, the eleven-year-old-blue-eyed child hugged her string which attached her harness to the zip line...
Extending her arms to her sides, she welcomed the cool mountainous air as it rushed past her in a flurry...

Free!

She thought to herself.
Not a sound escaped from her smiling lips.
Trees glided beneath her, a bird soared above her and mountain peeks surrounded her.

Little did she know, the next time she would go onto a zip-line, two years later, she would fly across the cord, upsi-down and backwards suspended on but one cord, over a cliff.

********************

This, my dear reader, gives you but a glimpse of my adrenaline pursuing past.
Passion, I believe is a gift, and curse, all rolled into one, which my wonder family cultures.
Apathy is an attitude scorned, or at least in the house-hold I live in. My opinions and ideas have always been very clear in my own mind.

My ideal would be to glide every weekend, along a mountain peek, canyon and crevasses, with but a pair of feathered wings. Mom and dad both joke with the other two young adults, in my family, that I'm an adrenalin junky.

Finding myself rather bored, I asked a group of mothers on The Well Trained Mind Forum( http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=149659 ) what their young adult children do for "fun," and what they did when they were my age for fun.

Most responded with excellent ideas:

Host a game night
Participate in historical reenactment
Volunteer
Go on a mission trip
Take a road trip
Mentor younger women...
Many, wonderful ideas!

As I read the replies to my question, the last reply jumped out at me (the the last one at the time). It beckoned me to pursue this mom's idea further...

"This seems to be matter of intensity..."

Intensity!

Intense feelings: feelings one has towards something or someone... this requires passion to be present.

Intense actions: actions that either bring healing or destruction to another human being, or an object.

Intense Words: These usually precede actions. Intense words arouse a great deal of emotion in the audience... such as hate, anger, fear, love, joy, courage...
There is almost never any middle ground when a person speaks with intense words. The apostle Paul and John the Beloved both are excellent examples of this. People, generally, either love or hate intense verbalists.

Intensity, all over, arouses a great deal of emotion in humanity. It also requires a cutting-edge lisfe style, such as Corrie Ten Boon ('The Hiding Place') and Mother Teresa ('Mother Teresa: In My Own Word). Both of these women I look up to in life!

Intensity requires absolute commitment.
Marriage is a good example of this, or so I have heard (although I have never experienced such commitment on such a level myself).
Rarely have I seen a marriage founded on apathy. Apparently, it's an intense relationship (although, like I said, I have never been married and so this is not a personal example, for me)

How can it not be?

You're vulnerable to the core of your being. Your humanity is exposed to the greatest extremity known to man. Your life is to be dedicated to one other fallen, sinning human being....
Intensity!!
The giving if your all!

Missionaries, I think we can all agree, live intense lives. Some live their life on the brink of death, for the sake of sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Intensity...
Something I seek with abandon, in life... which is, at this point, thoroughly lacking!

A matter of intensity.

Frosty the... Umm... Snow? Ice?

2010-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

Some go-geous pictures of the beautiful frost throughout the week :)

God richly bless

and keep you and your family this week!

Story

2010-01-18T00:30:00.000-08:00

Grandma Gorman,

and her beloved, Walter

Grandpa Bob and his beautiful wife,

my Grandma

Last night I was chatting with a friend, asking how their family ended up in the geographical location they are at right now; why they moved, if they're glad they moved; if they desire to return home, and similar questions.

In 2006 I was part of a home school cooperative. My English teacher, Mrs. Bolin, assigned us students the task to find someone in our family who was a military vet. My Grandpa Bob is a Korean War veteran. He was the only person who volunteered to participate in a secret mission. Unbeknown to him, the mission included him recording the nuclear bomb testing, on the Bikini Islands. He is now one of the few men who was contaminated by the nuclear power, and is still alive today to tell the story of those men who risked their lives to perfect nuclear weapons of war.

During our family trip back from Ohio, for my aunts funeral, we visited my adopted-great-Grandma Gorman. Grandma loves stories! She loves telling stories of growing up on the farm, in America, during a time when wagons were still popular and cars were for the wealthy. Over dinner, she began communicating to us what it was like traveling from Kansas to Chicago in a horse and wagon...
Her story was utterly captivating!

I am continually awed by the compelling beauty of individuals stories: how they got to the place they are today.

My friends story is so fascinating because their place of origin is so different from my own. Our cultures are so opposite, in so many ways!

My grandfathers story is captivating because he lived through a things that most people haven't; he lived through times, when others, who experienced that life with him, have now passed on because of the danger in those situations.
There are so many lessons to be learned from his life-story!

My great-grandmother's story is utterly beautiful because she grew up when America was still a baby. Family was deeply valued and innocence a normality, instead of weird (as it is today).
She takes me back into a place where my family, as it is known today, was just beginning!

Her speech of life takes me back into a history where 1/4 of my family was living in German Town Wisconsin, milking cows, making cheese and speaking German. Through her words, she takes me into places where 1/8 of my heritage is making their home in the Appalachian Mountains, striving to build a home for their children, who are my great-grandparents, despite the hardships and struggling against the extremities of the mountains, in a new and fresh country!

And the other 5/8 of my family? Where were they? What were they doing?

Honestly, I don't even know.

My hope, for this year, is to dig a little deeper, discover, even more, the stories of my Grandma Gorman's life, and my Grandpa Bob's history. To have the opportunities to ask my mothers father what and who his parents were - who his great-grandparents were... To inquire as to who my grandmother's family was, what they were like, where they lived, and where they were from... to seek and receive answers about my heritage - who these people are who make my story mine.

God richly bless and keep,
as you continue your story of life,
and create a history for your children,
grandchildren,
and great-grandchildren!

!!RECALLED!!!

2010-01-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

These are specific items that have been included in the recall list:

* Children's Motrin
* Children's Tylenol
* Extra Strength Tylenol
* Regular Strength Tylenol
* Tylenol 8 Hour
* Tylenol Arthritis
* Tylenol PM
* Benadryl
* Motrin IB
* Rolaids
* Simply Sleep
* St. Joseph Aspirin

You can go to the web site that contains the complete, detailed list of recalled items by clicking on this blog post title, or...
Read the news story at:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/busine...,6213281.story

Heaven is in Their Face...

2010-01-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but find myself shocked, and stunned, when, after watching a darling one or two year old girl, I told her mom that is was "fun to watch her!" The mom looked at me, raised an eye brow and sarcasticly stated, "right... Bye... Thanks anyway..." I wanted to step in front of her and state that I was serious! There is nothing in the world that gives me more pleasure than watching a child laugh with joy, run accross a room giggling hystericaly! It so pays off just to watch this little baby turn into a rambunctious child, grow into a giggle-fest of a pre-teen, and then bloom into the beautiful young women God calls her to be.

But, not matter what I would have said to the little childs mom, I don't think I could have persuaded her that the reason why I had given my time to come to church and play with that little girl, when I have a little sister who deeply desires to just keep me to herself all day, is that I enjoy watching the way the little one's are so innocently pure, sweet, and gentle with life.
And I'm not sure there is any other way to put it.
The purity and innocence in the eyes of a baby is absolutely magnificent - and totaly priceless!
To have the opportunity to to care for some of these little children, in our curch, as their parents attend service, I find truly honoring.
As I watch little people, my hearts greatest passion and desire is made so much more clear to me. To help, at least contribute, in raising up this next generation of God-fearing human beings. To instill in them that "The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand..." and found in the face of His children...
"At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
Matthew 11:25
"And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:3
"Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." "
Matthew 19:14
"Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked him. "Yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read, " 'From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise'?"
Matthew 21:16
"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."
Mark 9:37

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."
John 1:12-13
"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. "
Romans 8:16-17

~ New International Version, Bible ~

2010-01-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Every Tuesday I have the opportunity to get together with a small group of young adults. Basically, we just fellowship, pray and praise the Lord, together.

It's pretty darn cool!

The group was inspired to get together, once a week, at the end of a week-long conference in Kansas City. (check out http://www.ihop.org/ )

We returned from IHOP (or The International House of Prayer) two weeks ago, on fire, submerged in fellowship with like-minded young men and women, on the basis that we are the Body of Christ.
Praying is easy. Having grown up in the church, I find that praying together is probably one of the most easy activities to participate in. It's simple, clear, your roll is cut out and clearly defined.

However, being only into the second week of this fellowship group, I have already found that I'm an oddity amongst believers. Okay, so that sounds pretty darn self-focused... but it really hadn't dawned on me until yesterday that I am weird!

Not just weird, like, "I'm a nerd, kind'a geeky, and an odd duckling," type of weird, but weird on a totally new level!

Most of the group arrived about an hour early to intercede on behalf of those who would come for fellowship, later on in the evening. These are faithful, committed people who, I have found, are deeply committed to prayer on a level that the majority of modern-day Christians are not.
They prayed for an hour. One whole, entire, complete hour... and then some...

Praise GOD for young men and women like this!

Because all but three people in the group had been at the church, praying together, interceding for one another, serenading in the Word, they were, more or less, already in the mood and
comfortable enough to start getting vulnerable with each other.

One of the guys opened the group up with his testimony; How God took his ashes and turned it into beauty. How God took a person who was committed to himself, bringing to a place where he became committed to others, but more importantly, to Christ.

Wow!!

Yeah, okay, so I've heard the 'typical' "I was a druggie and alcoholic" story before, but this was someone real and tangible. Someone I know, or at least, am acquainted with. Someone I get together and fellowship with every week. Someone I drove down to IHOP with.

The next testimony was given by a young woman who, in all honesty, I respect. She has a story of her own, laced with the lonely and broken life of a little girl with an alcoholic father, and worse.
A similar story to the young man's who opened up the group.

Three young people, who all grew up in the church, shared their stories of addiction, religion as apposed to faith and feeling the need to be a savior to others because the love of Jesus wasn't enough. All three told the story of how Christ justified them, and how they are being cleansed through Him.

There were a couple more testimonies, similar to the one's stated above. However, the last one was told by a young man (who, apparently, is either older than I thought, or lived life to it's absolute fullest between preteen-hood and young-adulthood) shared his story of substance abuse, alcohol and over all immorality. He shared how God, almost quite literally, walked into his life, inviting him into the plan Jesus had for him.

As I listened to each story of how God reached in and invited these lovely people to "Follow Him," I wondered if I should share my story...
But after hearing the last, incredible, "beauty from ashes" tale, I decided against it.

What could I have to share with these people, who have lived life. The life I have been told I'm "missing out on."
Honestly, I have never really thought that I've "missed out" on anything in life, save peer pressure, an every-day social life and peer group, and many like-minded people.
I'm home schooled, and quite proud of that small fact, that makes up who I am.

Most home school people, at least those my age, I have found, are either rather lonely, or have the money and recourse's to be knit in to many groups, and keep themselves very active in life. Not to stay I haven't kept active, rather I have not had many things to fill my time, which is a choice our family has made, in order to pay for and insure other things in our life.

What could I have to offer these people, who have lived life, when I have so obviously not. How can I share a testimony that is very not beauty from ashes, but rather a constant search and seeking of Truth, acting on that Truth, falling flat on my face, stumbling, getting back up (or at least trying to), and "just keep walking..."

I don't have some dramatic saga of drugs, excessive drinking or any sort of addiction. To be honest, I find alcohol rather gross tasting and really don't understand what some people find so wonderful about it...
And in no way am I being sarcastic. I truly believe these people will have amazing ministries! Really, truly and honestly! This is something that has been very much impressed upon me - they will have have incredible ministries! Successful ministries.

World changing ministries.

But last night, I felt as though my lack-of-life, or weirdness, if you will, was magnified by about one-hundred. And it was probably just me being weird and overly-sensitive... or was it?
I have never been in the place where these young people are coming from. Never had those experiences. Never known the type of family they grew up in. Heck, I can't even begin to comprehend understanding! And they probably feel the same way about me, understandably.

As I have been thinking about Tuesday night, mulling over everything that happened, a lot of emotions that bubbled over and all the tears, I catch myself wondering "was it worth it?"

I have been asked this question by seemingly like minded people, "is it worth never having dated?" "Is it worth never having smoked or drank?" My response is basically, "well I think wine is gross, and beer is probably worse (I'm too "afraid" to try it though). I have only ever been asked on a date by a non-Christian, who I am committed to not dating. And the stories I have heard about smoking make it sound like an awful experience, and I don't like the health problems that go along with it..." Laughter, and a hearty "you little weirdo" usually follow these short-lived conversations.

These conversations, the type of settings like Tuesday night make me relate to Psalm 73 even more, especially the verses 13-14.

"Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain,

And washed my hands in innocence.

For all day long I have been plagued,

And chastened every morning."

These words are written by psalmist Asaph, who is talking about trust, doubts, envy and faith in God. Yes, faithlessly asking whether the purging of your sins and the cleansing of yourself before God is worth it is doubt. However, doubting, questioning and seeking Truth for yourself is part of owning your faith, as an individual. Therefore, I am not afraid to question when I doubt. When one questions why they are doubting and if there is really something to doubt, they are seeking Truth in its absolute fullest, I believe. It's an ebb and flow of life. Doubt runs into questioning, which runs into seeking, and a seeker nearly always finds what they are looking for, if they are really seeking to find, not merely seeking to doubt...

But I have gotten onto a tangent and conversation which I must save for a later date :)

My parents have held me to the highest standard of purity, morality and personal choices, that they know. They have raised all of us kids in this way. And succeeded quite brilliantly, I must say! But as I sat there, listening to these beautiful stories - unfinished stories - I realized how different my story how, and so how different the ministry, God has laid before me, is.

My life, maybe, instead is a living testimony. A testimony for right now, today, this moment. Not something down the road. Maybe my ministry is simply living, being, breathing, being filled with God's life.

Maybe the call for me isn't to be a huge radical evangelist, but a person who evangelises through day-to-day living... trough a life where weirdness to the US culture is normality for me.

Maybe I've been drafted to be a light by living, as Russ Duritz on The Kid claims, "a chick-less, dog-less looser with a twitch..." Except, in my case, it would be "a hunk-less, twitch-less looser with a dog," and through this "letting my light shine."

God richly bless and keep you!!

Quiet Thoughtfulness... And the Lack there of!

2010-01-11T18:36:00.000-08:00

There is a quiet thoughtfulness about the country,
that the city thoroughly lacks.

We have lived in the city, or at least a bed room community, now for about three months.
The differences between country life and city life are extreme!

I have found the differences more than fascinating, especially now that I have seen a decent art of both worlds, living in each at one time in life or another.
I've found it easier to see the differences when I compare and contrast, and would like to share some with you. So.. I will walk you through a hypothetical idea of the day-to-day adventures of my week in both the country and city life (these scenario's also use a hyperbole)
Hypothetically, Monday morning:You roll out of bed around six-thirty in the morning. After lying in bed for a few moments you become more aware of the sounds, sights and smells surrounding you. The air is laced with the scents of wood, dust and organic-ness... it smells cold... Quickly you become aware of the icy air touching your nose.
Most winter days you try to stay in bed as long as possible, for as soon as you remove the warm pile of comforters and quilts, about four in all, you are eagerly greeted by an icy hug from Jack Frost and Miss. Winter.
The bare wood floors are positively freezing! As quickly as possible you put on a pair of ratty fleece socks over wool socks, before allowing the thoroughly cold floors to touch your already chilled toes.
You have a vanity table, or mirror, in your room, giving you the capability to almost completely prepare yourself for the day.
As you walk down the squeaky wood floors the dogs yap good morning at you, your little sister smiles and races over to you, giving you a morning hug and kiss on the cheek.
Mom is probably doing her morning devotionals in the dining room chair, which is precariously placed in front of the South-East facing window. A cup of coffee is lazily giving off steam, on the cherry wood coffee table, standing next to the chair mom is reading in.
Dad is eating his breakfast, then rushes to and fro, making sure all is ready to leave for work.
A loud thump announces the awakening of the two brothers. A few more thumps, a shriek, a bang against a wall... silence! Another shriek... Of course you are used to all these normally unnerving sounds. They are the noises that tell you every one is awake, and alive and well. :)
A hypothetical idea of a Monday morning, in the City:
The alarm clock trumpets you into reality: Monday Morning... You press the "dismiss" button on your alarm... 7:30 AM... You hear a car hurrying it's way down the road.

Snuggled deep amongst a down-comforter, the warmth of the room automatically gives you a cheery outlook on the day.
You look at the ceiling, listening intently to the silence around you... surely something... someone.. somewhere... is awake... The sweet aromas of sleepiness, clean laundry and coffee dripping into a coffee pot surround you.
The air smells warm... Not hot.. a little cool, but not cold. You prepare yourself for the day.
You can hear a sibling peacefully snoozing, completely unaware of the sights, noises and smells you have observed in the past two minutes.

The two family dogs talk to each other up the stairs, through the garage door; they are waiting for you to feed and scratch them.
The thick, soft, warm carpet squishes between bare toes, as you make your bed and walk up the stairs, from the basement, to be greeted by mom and dad. They have been up long before you, and are passionately conversing as a hot, dark pot of freshly brewed coffee beckons to you...

Of course there are many, many, other differences between country and city life. Far too many for me to go into, no matter how many posts I write :)
However, probably one of the most stunning, shocking, and wild thing I have been absolutely stumped by is clothing. Strange? Oh yeah!
Never, ever, when we lived in the country, would I have worn a white shirt. Never! This would not only invite, but insure dirt, filth and complete and total ruination to the cloth!
It's silly, seemingly small, and relatively non-life changing, but in a sense it is life style changing. White articles of clothing in my closet are no longer a big deal because, well, I'm not hauling wood for heat nearly every day, I'm no longer petting, holding filthy barn cats (the thought of which still doesn't and never will keep me from continuing to hold them),we no longer live on a dirt road (cutting down on the dust collection immensely), and the list goes on.
We have gone to the local library a couple of times this week, already. When mom needs something from town, like to drop off a movie rental, it's very much "would you go run this errand for me," as apposed to "let's plan going into town this day, saving up all our errands for this one given day.. and if you forget something, you'll just have to wait until the weekend, or next week."
It's rather strange!
Very different. A cultural clash!
There are so many differences.
Although I could not even describe the flood of thoughts, emotions, feelings and ideas that overwhelm my mind, I think I will just sum it up in these two pictures.

The view from our home, in the country, taken from our bath room window,

which is directly above our kitchen window.

Another

The view from our house, now... isn't it lovely?

I especially love being able to see into our neighbors window... YIKES!

I am BLESSED!

2009-11-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

A few moments ago I was scanning through the many pictures I have taken of our home since the fire. These two especially caught my attention.

Perhaps just from the sentimentality of a melancholy personality feeling sorrowful about losing their home - their one true home, after living in five other houses and three other states.

Or maybe it's the sudden realization that this will be the first year in my entire life that I won't be spending Christmas at home.

Whatever the reason, these two pictures really mean a great deal to me. A boy, a country boy to the core of his being, and his two dogs. Diamond (far left) is ten years old and still a beautiful, faithful, family pooch.

Our home of six years has finally decided to call it quits. Oddly enough, it's a bit like saying goodbye to a dear and old friend. There's a lot of history in that house.

I guess when the unexpected hits, it's harder to let go than when you expect something bad to happen. For instance, I expected to be excitedly anticipating pulling out all our dozens of twinkle lights this weekend, and us all bundling up in thousands of layers to defiantly strike out into the prairie tundra and pick out a gigantic eight and a half foot tall Christmas tree. Then we will all squish in our small living room that the tree has now completely taken over, and begin to decorate it with ornaments older than myself, while listening to Wow Christmas from five years back, and sipping on mugs, not cups, mugs, of hot chocolate and stove-warmed apple cider with cloves and cinnamon in it.

For the past several years Hannah and I have made pop-corn balls for the entire family, while the boys get the Christmas tree in the house. Last year we dyed them green - they were so disgusting looking, especially when the syrup was still gooey!! But they tasted so good.

Yummmm!

Maybe I'll just have to go buy some corn syrup, pop-corn and other ingredients and make pop-corn balls despite not living in an inspiring old, craftsman style farm house with lots of character.
I have been so incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to live many years on an acreage with dogs, cats, and at one time a horse, geese, ducks, chickens, goats and sheep.
I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to grow up with my siblings, as my mom has patiently home schooled each one of us children.
Blessed to know the one true Living God is watching over us, holding us in His hands, taking care of our every need, watching our backs, and providing for us as we need it - maybe not more than we need, but certainly enough to sustain us for today!
I'm blessed to have four siblings, live in a free country, have lived by a river where we can wade during hot, stuffy Summer days, catch guarder snakes and frogs, eat fresh strawberries from our big garden, and sit in an aged animal shed with barn swallows cackling at me from their perch above my head, sweet smelling hay surrounding me, and kittens purring.

I am blessed!

Pearl of Great Price

2009-11-20T14:00:00.000-08:00

The creator, continuing to create.

Always creating...

The poppa, or daddy, always arms outstretched for us.

Always yearning to show us more of His creation,

and desiring to teach us

to create as He creates.

Every morning, and every evening,

He finger paints.

And every time a person begins to paint the sun rise

and sun-set

They begin to see how vast the colors,

and great the imagination of God is

- too big to understand.

This morning a dear, dear heart-friend asked me what "I'm learning through this all."
It's stuck in my head, and I can't get it out! Generally, I communicate things through the visual arts, but since I have no medium which can communicate these thoughts at this time I'll do my best to explain via electronics (not at all my first choice, but ita vita**)

Like I said, I communicate best through the arts. I'm a kinesthetic/ visual learner - an artist, if you will. My out let is the visual and kinesthetic arts, such as photography, painting, charcoal and pencil drawings and, when I can get my hands on it, pottery (no pun intended).

I had art pieces from when I was five and six that I wanted to redo and add to as I got older, saved up in the attic and organized in folders in my room and at my desk. Pieces that meant something to me: my first drawing of our mutt, Sandy, when I was seven; pastels of girl-friends who I participated in art internships with (and have amazing memories of); the only canvas-oil painting I have of a South Dakota winter; and a few personal-spiritual charcoal pieces that mean something to me as an individual. Two years ago I sorted out all those and kept only the sentimental, and of those the only best pieces.

Last weekend I "sorted," again, the remaining art work. Except, in this context, "sort" is another term for "throw away absolutely everything but the ones that you'll cry over because there is little to no room to store any of it." So I have but a box remaining. One pitiful box of collages, drawings, paintings, and two pieces of pottery one of which is discolored from the heat of the fire.

As I sorted through each piece, a memory of a friend, Grace Johnson (also an artist) came to mind.
Grace is a potter, but she is also a speaker, or more appropriately, a woman's minister.
During one of her presentations a story she told thoroughly welded itself into my mind.

"There are some pieces (of pottery) that I create that I feel an emotional attachment too... there was this pot I had created, and I felt so jealous of it I kept it in a special case and just loved to look at it and, it sounds silly, but caress it - it had such amazing texture! I didn't want to sell it to anyone because then it wouldn't be with me, it wouldn't be mine, and I would have to share it with someone. this is how God feels about us! We are His pieces of art, His pottery, that He doesn't want to share with others that draw us away from Him."

Perhaps you find this slightly psychotic, but no worries, it's not. It makes perfect sense. There were probably three pieces of art that I had done (I believe all in charcoal), which had deep emotions and spiritual meaning to me. I mean spiritual in the philosophical and relationship with Yahweh sense.

There have been one or two other circumstances which I'm prohibited from sharing details with as it simply is not the appropriate time, nor place (and, in my opinion, simply is not my place to share), but which also adds an even greater dimension and deeper impact on this thought process that has begun, about being the art work of God - His valuable piece of pottery that He longs for and desires; that He has created and yearns to be with at all times.

But in this situation, which I will share no details about, I have been utterly confounded at the complete deepness and determined loyalty/ faithfulness Christ/ God (even the trinity??) has in committing Him selves into pursuing us, unrelentingly.

The shear and utter jealous passion Christ has for us!

He wants to share us with no other lovers! He desires us to turn our hearts singly, only, willingly, and submissively towards HIS desires - to HIM. To run - not walk, not saunter, not jog, not ever look back, but run into HIS arms and allow HIM to embrace us and not let us go.

He does not want you to desire that which is of the world. He does not want you to love your home more than Him, which I am thoroughly convicted of.

He does not, absolutely not, want your obedience to Him to be conditional, as, "well if you give me this, or let me stay here, or allow me to do this... then I will obey."
And He certainly doesn't want you to exclude yourself from the rule "Turn your eyes (and thoughts, and heart, and soul, and mind) to Jesus."

Now, please keep in mind, He isn't an wrinkled old geezer sitting on a rock muttering "those darn humans.. stupid little imps... always wanting what their flesh desires, and never wanting me..." And then, upon seeing a human saying "You darn human you!! You want riches, lovers, prosperity and kingdoms, but you don't want me (a wrinkled old geezer)" ZAAP! And electrocuting you with a wand, on the spot... or something like that...

Nor is He some Zeus who lusts after beautiful young women, or an Aphrodite who lusts after handsome young men, and desiring you in a sexual manner.

Nor is He a rich and wise king, like Solomon, who has it all but just wants "more, more, more!" And is never content with life as it is, but instead in the end cries "vanity, vanity... meaningless, meaningless..."

No, no, no!

God is beyond that. Maybe we label God as these (perhaps slightly) extreme figures because this is all our brains can comprehend... At this point my mind fondly returns to the movie "Dinosaur" when Yar, the grandfather lemar tells Aladar his adopted-dinosaur-grandson, "I can fit that monsters brain in the palm of my (hand)" and opening his palm, laughing at his genius insult, looks at a dinosaur ten times his size. I think this pretty much explains the human condition fairly well.

So often we turn to lovers who pursue and love on us; money which calls to us; homes which comfort us; families who protect us; popularity that offers attention; friends who entertain us... and the list goes far and away beyond anything that could be written in one blog post.

The point is, YOU, not your neighbor, but YOU that God is talking to, are HIS pearl of great price!! That special piece of art work that He designed and created so uniquely - so imago Deo *** - that He yearns for your attention. He longs for you to look Him in the eye and say,

"I want you. I love you. I choose you."

After designing you, He said:

"I want to be the only lover in your life!"

"I want to be the only thing you pursue - I can take you to great places!"

"I want to be with you for eternity!"

"I want to just watch you!"

"I want to enjoy you!"

"I want you to allow me to fall deeply into love with you, and I want you to fall deeply into love with me!"

"If you allow me to fill your heart, mind and indeed, your very soul - if you welcome me in and let me be the only lover in your heart, then I can take you into that which I originally created for you..."

And the completion to that last statement is "and this world and what it's got to offer ain't it huny!"
His love isn't sensual, conditional, shallow, or selfish in a two-year old way (I want it because she has it!).

He desires you because He created you, and as an artist, He longs to see His art work at work - doing His work, creating as He creates, and loving as He loves. And in order to do that you've got to be working with Him; obeying Him, pursuing Him, longing for Him, praising Him, and kicking out those other desires which do and are keeping you from Him and all that He desires for you (and He desires great and magnificent things for you!)

** 'Ita vita' is a Latin phrase, meaning "such is life."

*** 'Imago Deo' is Latin for "the image of God"

God Richly Bless and Keep!

Miss Elisabeth

Home Sweet Home

2009-11-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

During a blizzard in the Prarrie

Ginger bread house: Dec 2008
Christmas time is here! Dec 2008

Yeah.. it does have a Calvin and hobbes look to it, doesn't it?

Derek and I made one before this one with

a choke chain and cow bone in it's mouth.

I thought it was funny. Mom found it disturbing ;)

Christmas Decor

My East facing window

Nestled in the freshly cut tree hides a

fragile cream colored Christmas bulb

I think December 2008:

Picking the tree is very tiring. Cutting the tree down is SO much easier

Our "back yard" Dec 2007

Glistening in the afternoon sun is a

ice-laced ash tree

The "front yard" Dec 2007

Ethan and Hannah Dec 2007

My home means a lot to me!

I could be quite happy staying home all day, so long as we have the animals, friends and family. the more family with me the better. Cooking is a blast – I loved our kitchen despite it’s irritating qualities. My bed room was probably the best place to be, especially when the dog was able to hang out up there with me, and the Christmas light were all up, glowing happily despite the setting sun. A back drop of blushing pink, tangerine neon and captivatingly vivacious blue hung behind the two six pane East and North facing windows in my room.

My favorite spot to sit and wrap Christmas presents, starting about this time of year, with Stacie Orrico and Nicole C. Mullin belting out Christmas lyrics in the background, was in the corner of the room, between the East and North facing windows. Snuggled under my periwinkle blue plaid feather down blanket, with a cup of home made hot cocoa, harmonizing along, wrapping gifts in boxes, then duct tape, then paper, then another box, more duct tape, and finally topping off with wrapping paper and an elegant bow, I would sit in that North-East corner, glancing out the window to watch the sun set, listen to the wild out door noises (such as the occasional mountain lion scream – not a comforting sound), the cats bawling, my family laughing down stairs, the dogs talking and snow floating down, grazing window panes, resting on tree branches, dead leaves and golden brown grass.

This is what I wanted to do this year, again, after enjoying Thanksgiving, and picking out the biggest, most lush, and fullest Christmas Tree from Tananbaums Tree Farm, the weekend following Thanks Giving - an art form in our Home: The Thanks Giving dinner and season as a whole. We probably would have started decorating the house for Thanks Giving by now.

Honestly, what I’ll miss the most, is not having Christmas at home this year. The wood floors, smell of pine tree overwhelming the house, Christian artists humming Christmas carols on CDs, and the incredibly light décor about the entire house (including some bed rooms and sparkling beneath the snow, hanging from the house). Colored lights sparkling from beneath red gauze boes, peeking out between sparkling snow, and soft green pine needles on little pine trees outside.

November 2009

2009-11-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

I was going to put a decent sized post on here, but the words won't come out. It's a little bit like on the movie Miss Potter, for those of you who have seen it, when she is trying to paint, but the only thing that comes out are sad looking bunnies and angry carnivorous fish. I laugh at this analogy myself. It's rather pitiful, in my point of view.

I'm sorry this is short, not necissarily sweet, and quite blunt and strait forward - I'm really sick of fluff and mush.

So, to cut to the chase:

The house is in very sad condition. It seems like a good 'ol friend breathing it's last. The entire family is really hurting, deeply hurting over this. Life has stripped our identities of one thing after another. Forget jobs being identity, family, friends, or money. Just how life is. Deal.

Dad is sick with walking pneumonia and sentanced to a week of rest. He is going to be completing week one of "Rest" (for an over-acheiving Nehring, prison sounds more fun than this - at least in prison one can evangelize and DO rather than sit around twiddling thumbs feeling like garbage physicaly). He will be seeing the doctor again, not later than this weekend (I am taking it a personal responsiblity to see to it that this happens). The doctor said he has some bronchitis which morphed into pneumonia and if he does not take special care to get better he could get H1N1 and be hospitlized quite easily. This, absolutely, will not happen. :)

We have been richly and generously blessed with clothing for the two little one's, myself, and with winter gear. "Enough," in a very light sense, has been provided for dad, Derek and mom. I would love to see that mom get's more clothing, as well as dad and my brother.

For those of you who know and care about our two wonderful dogs:
Diamond, who is ten, is doing horrid. Her breed rarely lives past ten, maybe eleven, and almost definitaly not past twelve. She will be pushing eleven this coming April. She has cronic ear infections, and it has gotten siginificantly worse. She is nearly deaf, and we have not been able to take care of her, ourselves, since the fire. She has been with some friends much further in the country than ourselves. Depression is her current fad, she seems very sad, and lonely for her people, and has slowed down, physicaly, very much.

Ursa, my one year old puppy on the sixteen is depressed, but healthy. She's extremely aloof and her character has changed almost completely. Almost a year of training has gone to the pits.

Neither dogs have been cared for by us since the fire, last month. As I said, Diamond has consistantly been with some friends very far in the country. Ursa was with some dear friends in the city for a week, then was with Diamond in the country. Both dogs are spending the night in a shed on our property, which Derek a dear friend and I secured for the two today.

We are praying for and seeking out options for the dogs: kennels, friends, farmers, friends of friends, families of friends, etc., etc., etc.

We are also looking for a house to rent. In all honesty, we will probably be staying there for at least a year. We're going on week two as far as house searching is going. It's depressing.

Thank you for all your support! I deeply appreciate it!

God richly bless

Refined by Fire - FYI

2009-11-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

Just For the what it's worth department - I updated the need list.
Sorry I haven't updated for the past several days. We have been in Ohio for my dear and loving Aunts Funeral. The funeral was honoring, beautiful and honest.

God richly Bless and Keep

Refined By Fire - It ain't over yet!

2009-10-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

This evening, just as I was ready to "let it all come out" through a river of tears, my dad called me into the back room where he already had the two younger boys in the "this meeting is now in order" semi-circle.

The intense look in his eyes, deep and dark circles under his eyes, and his tone all told me that something was horrendously dreadfuly wrong. My initial reaction, mentaly, was to go through the lists of things that had not been attacked so far... the dogs and... and my family - my dad's family, my mom's family.

His face was ashen, his voice unshaken, yet so intensly somber - I'll never forget that tone.

Although I did not know her well, my Aunt Susan is a very dear person to my mom, and to our family as a whole - she's my mother's oldest sister and in their younger years, greatest friend.

The term, "they are dead," is only a vague sense of general understanding. Death, in my lifetime has been reserved for pets, and only once when I was seven, for my grandmother on my mom's side. I did not know my grandmother well and was so little that it seemed almost irrelevent to my relationship with the world, at the time.

But this time, when my dad spoke so distinctly and so humbly, "your grandpa Roy called us at church, and told us your Aunt Sue died this morning," left me with a deep and unwavering shock.
As my Aunt Kristen, when I spoke with her only a half hour ago, stated "I don't know what to expect... I don't know what will happen," in a rather panicked tone, I felt the same way. However, I know that whatever happens, I can depend on the Creator of the happenings. I know He is my guide, my Shepherd, my Strong Tower, and my ultimate Home.

And yet, I say all of this with a ever confused, every befuddled, ever wondering mind - will I ever come to terms with "the circle of life?" Will I ever come to terms with that small inconvenient fact that the only happily ever after in life is the happily for-ever you have with Christ, singing Holy, Holy, Holy when death do us part?

A short Psalm over the past life of my Aunt Susan Rummel Wagner, beloved mother, dear sister and precious daughter:

May the Lord bless you and keep you;

may the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

May ths Lord lift His countenance upon you and may He give you peace;

May the Lord be gracious to you, and may He give you peace;

Shalom, in Yeshuah's name, Shalom.

May He lift His countenance upon you,

and may He give you peace.

Amen

Refined by Fire - Update Oct. 26, '09. PM

2009-10-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad got home around 6:45 pm after being out at the house since ten or eleven this morning, meeting with the insurance company, as well as the fire seargant who was head of the investigation.

The fire started from an over-used out-let in the down stairs bathroom/ pantry. Apparently, the wires had short circuited a couple of times before this incident, and this was just the last straw. The fire probably had been going on for a good two-three (maybe five?) minutes on the ceiling of the basement/ floor of the kitchen before we actually could smell anything burning. Meaning, for those of you who know the in-depth story, the first time dad went down to check the electrical box the fire had already started.

The scoop, so far, is that the kitchen will for sure need gutted, and that corner of the house raised, as the floor of the kitchen is totally unstable (I would post pictures on my blog of our sunken in kitchen floor, and will, soon, hopefully). But because the smoke is so bad, the ceiling in the dining room will have to be redone, and the walls on the first floor will definitely have to be stripped. What is uncertain, at this point, is whether or not the smoke actually got into the walls on our second story, which leaves condemnation open for consideration. If smoke did, then the whole project will be more expensive than we can afford (outrageously so... if you don't have money pouring out of your ears). If it had not, than we will be able to strip the walls and fix up the place as best we can.

A great comfort to us right now is a word that many people from church have been telling us they are receiving in prayer:"Better than before..." "It'll be better than before..."
It's easy to think this in your head, but when it gets right down to it... well I think we are all having a pretty hard time. If condemning the house is the verdict, than we will have several bawling sessions in our house- of course we will probably take turns :)

A List of Needs- literally

2009-10-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

For those church friends, family, local friends, and non-local friends who visit my blog regularly and would like to pitch in and help by buying things, or helping in some other way - I have listed our current needs and will be keeping the list relatively updated.

Any cloth and clothing type of thing. Smoke damage is horrendous and it takes five loads of wash to cleanse one load of laundry reasonably enough to wear without gaging. Every article of clothing that was hung up in the girls and boys closest were thrown out - they were stained, and horribly ruined.

Clothing - sizes/ specifics:

Mens:
34-36x30-32 pants (jeans, slacks, sweats)
20/22's jeans and sweats, or work pants - for Derek who is a long and lean 16 in boys

Medium-x-large t-shirts, sweaters, jackets, hooded sweat shirts, long sleeved shirts
large-xlarge Gloves (we will be working on the house for at least a few months)
Long underwear
socks!!!!
Large-xlarge winter coats, working coats, warm for SD coats
x-large hats and scarves to work in (any winter gear is very much appreciated!)

size 11 mens work shoes, tenni-shoes etc. - both dad and Derek

If you want to minister to Derek's soul, he loves books, loves writing, and food is incredible.
Minister to dads soul: Come out and help :) - more on that below

Women's:
3x shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets/ sweaters, jackets, t-shirts, long sleeved shirts
3x sweat pants, working pants
3x very warm winter coat/ working coat,
large hats, large gloves, scarves- again winter gear will be appreciated, so much!

socks
size 11 work boots/ working shoes, tenni-shoes, any shoes

8-10 (long) jeans, sweats, working pants, pants in gen.
medium to large t-shirt, sweaters, hooded sweaters/ jackets, long sleeved shirts
Large Working coat
Large hats, large gloves

socks
size 10 work boots/ working shoes, tenni shoes, shoes

Boys:
10-slims pants, jeans, sweats, working pants
8-10 t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets, jackets (mediums, I believe)
10 winter coat, working coat
SOCKS!!
Medium gloves (maybe large)
x-large/ medium mens hats (he's got a big head)

5-6 shoes, boots, work boots, snow boots

Minister to Ethan's soul: Books, bionicles, Lego's - he's a kinesthetic type of guy :)

Girls:
6-7 (slims??) pants, jeans, sweats, working pants, skirts, skorts, dresses
6-7 t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets, jackets
7 winter coat, working coat
socks!
Small- medium gloves
Medium hats (scarves)

1-2 shoes, boots, work boots, snow boots,

Minister to Hannah's soul: Polly-pockets, dolls, - girl toys, nail polish - she's very much of a girly girl, and loves books

Food stuffs:
I think we're good through the middle of next week -
Thank you ALL SO much! So many crowns in Heaven for each of you!!!! And six hearts full of gratitude and prayers of blessings!

Misc:
Hygienics

House:
Muscle and clean-up crew (the facility has no heat, water, or light. Dress warm, bring water. The area is not at all safe for children. Our kiddos stay at New Haven, or play with friends during this time. Too much glass, kitchen is unstable, etc.. Please contact us with a good time for you to come out and help, if you are able to - this would be such a blessing to our entire family! It's gonna be a long haul - long winter - long time before the house is habitable.

linens/ bed-sheets - four twins, one king
Comforters
Pillows (we have seven people home during Christmas :)

Towels
Wash clothes

News update: It was slightly unnerving tossing things you remember buying not too long ago from a resale store - very unnerving. I felt like such a waster, counting the price of things as I shoved them into a big, black trash bag. $75, $3, $8, $10.... it all adds up! Wasted. Gone. Hardly used. Of course, I didn't come across the $75 objects often... okay only once, but I will remember that thing for a long time, and to think I only used it twice!! Ugh! Such a waste!
But it can, and most undoubtedly will be replaced - it is replaceable. I would rather throw away a $75 business suit than have to bury a priceless sibling, best friend - my dearest possessions right now (although, technically, you do not posses your siblings, nor do you own their friendship... it's a gift... a priceless gift - one you have only for a life-time, depending on how short, or long God has dictated your life to be)

Dad and I think we have a little insight into the Mind of God - though it may be treading on dangerous ground to say this so lightly.
Perhaps, just maybe, God is one who allows bad things to happen in life, not because he is ruthless or mean, but rather, He allows the evil one to do harsh things to us, He allows the consequences or our sins to catch up with us, because those negative things push us closer to the human God originally intended us to be - it's the refining by fire to become that pure, innocent, beautiful piece of gold... pure, resilient, of the highest value - what GOD created us to be.

Lead me to the Cross Prt 2

2009-10-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

I have titled this adventure "Lead me to the Cross" because of the worship song with that title.
One of the first verses is "everything I once held dear - I count it all as lost; Lead me to the cross where your blood poured out; bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down; rid me of myself - I belong to you; Lord lead me, lead me to the cross..."
This song resignated with me very much this evening, after throwing away most everything I own. It's very odd stating this - but it's true.

"I don't wanna be homeless,

but I am.

I don't wanna be needy,

but I am."

~ I think anyone who has experienced a tragedy in their life.

Let me be poured out-

emptied out-

Oh Lord.

We are emptied and gutted out.

We are homeless,

and poured out.

Pour us, empty us out,

Oh Lord.

Let us be sfe in you,

be our home- our shelter-

Be our safe haven,

Oh Lord.

Gut us and make us new -

A new creation for you.

Recreate us, in your image;

a new creation in your image;

a creation created for you;

poured our for you;

sheltered in you.

Amen.

"Lead Me to the Cross..."

2009-10-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Thursday, 6:20/30 AM, October 22, 2009, a fire started in the basement of our home on the great plains, and devoured the north-east corner of our basement, and kitchen floor.

Smoke damage, apparently, is worse than fire damage, and, today, as I was sorting through all of mine and my sisters belongings with some dear family friends, I saw how true that is. Trash bags, filled to the brim, are pile up in our front yard.

Water flooded our basement, and dripped, drop by drop, down from the bed room floors, through the first-floors ceiling, into the lamps, and drop-by-drop onto the floor - leaving a person feeling like they are in an abandoned shed in the amazon. Our cats inhabited our house yesterday evening, as did our dogs. It was just slightly unnerving walking into my home to see a barn cat slink around the sopping couch crying "meOOW!"

The walls are stained, and our dining room ceiling is peeling off - falling off in chunks... worse than I though.

And it sounds so horrific! Yet, through the smoke stained walls, charred basement, flooded living room, and empty bed rooms, I have been contantly amazed at God's faithfulness. He truly will "never leave nor forsake us" (heb 13:5). He is committed to us - 'til death do us part from this earth, and we fly on the wings of eternity.

And, I just heard, my older sister is currently in the ER. Prayers for her would be so very much appreciated! She is in college, her blog is http://www.blindlyservinghim.blogspot.com/

If you would, please be praying for our family. My two youngest siblings are having a very hard time, and it will be many weeks before we can move back into our home on the plain.

God richly bless and keep!

Miss Elisabeth

Holy of Holies

2009-09-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

"Take me past the outer courts into the Holy Place;

past the Brazen alter - Lord I want to see your face;

Take me past the crowds of people and the priest who sing your praise.

I hunger and thirst for your righteousness, but it's only found in one place.

Take me into the Holy of Holy's; Take me in by the Blood of the Lamb; take me into the Holy of Holy's; take the coal, touch my lips. Here I am."

- Kutless 'Take Me In."

Life can dish out some pretty crazy stuff. Crazier than even I had thought.

Abuse and neglect were two verbs I have only ever experienced through the "Big Screen" - my "big door" to reality, in a sense.

A friend of mine recently shared some of their history with me. Vaguely explaining the situation they grew up in, giving me just a wee taste of what life might possibly be like without a daddy whose arms I can run into, whenever I feel an emotional deficit, or that craving for attention, affirmation and someone stronger and bigger than I to help me stand on my feet again.

A life without a father to look up to, who also was the daddy you could run to; a life without a mother who honored and cherished the relationship she had with her husband - who cherished me. A life without a Poppa who was in love with his wife, protected, loved and respected the beautiful woman he had chosen to spend his life with; a life where the people I looked up to didn't share the same house as I.

- This life style is so totally and completely different from anything I have ever known.

So different, in fact, that my mind cannot stretch enough to even begin to fathom a life of abuse and such deep rooted pain.

Such questions as: Why would a dad hurt his children, or his wife? He chose to marry her? If he despised her so much why did he commit to living his life with her? Does he not understand marriage vows?

Yes, I seem very naive. Probably, in all honesty, I am very naive.

You see, I have grown up with, since I can remember as a little six year old, a father who told me "I only represent the Abba Father you have in Heaven. God entrusted me with you to take care of and love, but I'm human and I won't always do a good job (I'll stumble and fall). God gave you to me to steward, to teach about God - your real Daddy. There will be some day when I won't be here, and you'll have to completely depend on God to be your daddy."

At one time he mentioned "I hope I can do as good a job as He entrusted me to do..."

What complete love. The love I have grown up with, felt, experienced and been shown since I was just a tiny little being.

For a couple years I have been in deep prayer and reflection about why God has chosen to place me here, for this season. Through prayer, I have received, many times, the word "hidden."

Now, when one hides something, when speaking about other people, specifically women, one may think of a women hidden behind a veil due to shame based emotions, religion, and over all a shame-based psychology.

This is not the mentality God would have us live, I believe. To be hidden because you are ashamed is not what God has intended for mankind, and this is not what he meant when he gave me the word "hidden."

To be hidden, more in the context of buried treasure is, I believe, what the God of the Universe was referring to.

The life-style we lead is very different, weird if you will, compared to the rest of the American culture (possibly even world in general). I have been blessed with parents who firmly believe Philippians 4:8 should be taken seriously and that "what you put into your brain will eventually come out (to haunt you/ bless you, hurt others/ bless others, etc.)."

Our life-style is very secluded. We enjoy the company of other human beings, who wouldn't? Intelligent conversation with homo sapien's is a hobby of ours, and frivolous-very-bubbly-sometimes-stupid conversations with other girls is something I freely waste my time on, so long as the time and place are right.

In our secluded and weird life-style, I have found loneliness to be a close companion of mine, as have my siblings, and even my parents at times.

Loneliness is due to the lack of emotional connection with like-minded people whom share the same season of life with you. Very few people have I shared any particular season of life with. Loneliness is a rampant disease in the hearts, minds and emotional core of my generation.

Honestly, I am in firm belief that this loneliness is actually a blessing, in a way. In being lonely I have "not seen the real world" and so "do not live in the real world."

In other words, I have not experienced those things that teenagers normally experience while trying to figure themselves out in a world that really doesn't care much for who they are as individuals. A world where sex and drugs rage wild in youth and young adults. Where alcohol numbs the mind and soul of any real sense of belonging, Agape love, Hope, Truth, Light, LIFE, fulfillment, forgiveness... and so many other nouns, verbs and adjectives, of so many youngsters.

In my loneliness, in my seclusion, in the hiddeness God has kept me in, I find I've been protected. I've been shielded. Loved, and held to the highest standard of living. He's truly kept me in "the apple of His eye."

He has "never left me nor forsaken me."

He will "be with me always."
Where I go "there He will be also."

God will not leave you. He has not, and He will never forsake you. Loneliness is probably protection. Nothing is ever as it seems. The unexpected is to be expected. And Principalities and Powers wage war.

If ever you need anything, run, sprint.. leap into His arms. They were made for you to run into.

If ever you fall down, and are crying for help, in pain, lonely, miserable, hopeless, doubting, call upon the Might One - He'll pick you up.

He'll lift you up.

He's standing beside you.

He's felt your pain.

When you have hit rock bottom and you don't know which way is up or down, call upon the Lord. He'll lead you into His Holy of Holy's - and there none can harm you.

"If God is for you, who can be against you."

When God is with you, who can harm you?

You have the Lord "what can man do to you?"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path (or make your path strait)"

Proverbs 3:5-6

Want Two Books?

2009-07-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, as I thought about all the incredible things that come out of a garden, and how much fun it is to bake/ cook food directly out of the garden (you can get pretty artistic!!) I decided to start writing on new-found recipes, my gardening adventures and basically anything regarding to my garden space, kitchen and how you can link the two together with some imagination :)

I must say, it's been a lot of fun taking and posting pictures, looking for things that are seemingly insignificant, but actually contribute quite a bit to a healthy garden (such as painted turtles, rainbow colored butterflies, and frogs springing to and froe).
Capturing the moment is probably the most frusterating aspect, however it adds a tastey challenge to my day-to-day life.

Also, The Art of Femininity is another blog which encourages Godly femininity pretty through every aspect of life and dissects all "Godly Femininity" means, could mean, and is defined according to the Bible.
The Art of Femininity is holding a book drawing this month. In order to apply for the book drawing, you need to read "Honor, Patronage, Kinship and Purity" by David A. deSilva.

DeSilva's book is actually quite fascinating, as the author "Unlocks New Testement culture."
When you have completed the book, and written a book review on your blog, comment on The Art of Femininity's "Challenge" blogpost, with your blog title and name.
There will be a drawing, for all those who accepted the challenge, on the weekend of July 12th, 2009.
If your name is drawn you'll be contacted through a commont on your latest blog post, giving you an email to send your address to - shipping is taken care of :)

God richly bless you this week!

A Ferocious Fight for the Heart of Man

2009-05-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

“You cannot serve both God and Mammon”

Either you serve God, or Mammon. If you serve God, you cannot serve

You do not serve God. You do not serve Mammon,
Therefore, you serve Mammon Therefore, you serve God

1. Luke 16:13 states that “a servant cannot serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Mammon,” Luke 16:13

The term “Mammon” can be translated a couple of different, ways, the most common being “money.” For the purpose of this essay, however, I will be defining “Mammon” as “wealth for it’s own sake.”
The general population of America lives out this mentality with a ferocious zest. Despite poles stating that the majority of Americans are “Christian”, this majority also proclaims “success is defined by the number of zeros in your bank account,” “fewer kids, fewer bills, a successful life,” and “buy a new car, it saves on gas.” This majority goes to church in buildings costing thousands, if not millions of dollars. Their whole lives are caught up in this fantastic money making monster, and hardly take a break from it.
Although I have never had the opportunity to live an upper-middle class, or wealthy life style, and so don’t know from personal experience how money can draw one in and become a possible addiction, I do believe that a majo reason for the Unitesd States economic struggle we are facing, as of May, 2009, is not only due to natural economic fluctuations, but also due to my generation, and that of my parents, over-the-top, frivolous, “because I deserve it” psychology.
My uncle and his family try to life a Christian life-style (which, in my opinion differs greatly from a Christ-like life-style) count success in dollar bill signs. As my uncle and sister discussed the hardships of living a life free of financial wealth (as our family has due to unusual circumstances), and living always on the look out for God’s moving in our lives, he admittedly stated:
“I would rather my brother (my dad) not be a business man in his trade as

a psychologist, because then he would be a money shark and not much

care for his clients.. nor would he be nearly as eager a listener (which has

been a great blessing and quite helpful in my life for several years)”

Even those how do try, and consider themselves to be “good Christians” take up the monstrosity of the money god, battling this state of mind daily.
In all probably, this battle has been going on for hundreds, if not thousands of years. What better lie to bestow on mankind than “if you don’t provide above and beyond abundance for your family financially, then you are a failure.” Even in the Garden of Eden the Serpent used Mammon to logically seduce Eve into exchanging her non-material relationship with Abba God for material possession, or ownership, of “being like God” – “knowing good and evil.”

(In our day and age this could also be defined as “differentiating from your parents (God, in Adam and Eve’s case, was their parent – and having the “wealth of independence” from God, their parent… And this has been the state of mind since the Garden of Eden, and is Mammon in it’s most clearly defined way.)

In my own life, I see Mammon clawing, fighting, seeking every way possible to entice me into thinking of him as fondly, if not more, as my Eternal Abba, God.
He has taken a foothold, I believe, in my life, more than once, and catches me by surprise in little, “inconsequential” things; such as my future, dear of having no financial cushion, fear of losing control of my life on this earth, etc. Only through the tender blood and courageous, infinite strength of my Lord Jesus Christ can Mammon release himself from me, and I throw myself at the feet of Jesus, proclaiming, “His kingdom come, His will be done,” and not Mammon kingdom, nor my will.
All this being said Satan’s faithful fight for victory over our hearts is very real, through the power of Mammon. And in order to fight back, we must remember that wealth is not found in independence from God, but independence of worldly good and complete and utter dependence on our fiercely passionate Abba Father, God of the Universe, in Heaven, with us.

(This essay was written as a part of lesson Ten in Traditional Logic by Martin Cothran.)

Graduation Pictures

2009-05-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Mom took all of these pictures early this month, for graduation.

She is truly an artist, don't you think?

The top three were my "official" graduation invitation pictures. The last two are just a couple of a whole slue of fun pictures!

We took about an hour to take them all, but it was so much fun. I wish mom and I could do stuff like this more often (hanging out playing)...

Graduation

2009-05-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

My Mother and baby sister, Hannah Grace

Woo Hoo! I'm FINALLY graduating from High School, thanks to my mother :)

I am so privileged to have had the opportunity to learn from, be taught by, and showered by all the talents and blessings of my mother.

Having been home schooled my entire life, I think I have had a much more impactful relationship with my mother, in the sense that I look to her as a friend and look to her for advice in life, as apposed to asking people my age who lack the knowledge and wisdom of time and age, just as I do.

My mother's extraordinary patience and zeal that pave the way for each of us kids' education is absolutely incredible. She's very artistic and creative. Every moment is a teaching moment.
My mother's mind-set of "it's the little things that make a day brighter" challenges me to find the beauty and joy in all of creation, especially in circumstances that seemingly have no positive attributes to speak of.

When I grow up, I want to be just like my mother:
A vivacious light to all who see her. Bubbling over with love for her family and the passions that God has given her.
I want to be obedient to my Father in Heaven and "just keep walking" when I stumble, just as she does.

I want to grow in my talents and gifts, using them in my day-to-day life to bring glory to God and bless others, just like her; to be a teacher, mentor and student of my future children, and honor, serve and passionately love my future husband, just like my mother.

I love my mother very much.

The Bar of Expectation

2009-03-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

If you've got something to write, then write it! If you have something to say, say it! If you see something that needs done or something that needs changed, do it! Change it!
However, always remember to be treating those around you the way you want to be treated.

This past weekend (March 28-29) brought loads of excitement, learning, challenge and an inadequate amount of sleep. The Leadership Institute hosted two days worth of lectures. They called the weekend "Leadership Institute Political Boot camp."

Everything from how to wear a name tag correctly to exciting projects to put together for your campaign volunteers was discussed.

What I found to be the most interesting aspect of the boot camp, though, was how the TeenPact students and the other students (college student or other high school students) interacted with one another and how different the were from each other. There was a marked difference.

A slight disclaimer, before I continue writing and you continue reading:
I strongly recommend you send any high school-college aged students in your household to a Leadership Institute event. They are very informative, you learn and grow a lot, and basics on running a part of a campaign (and some not-so-basics on running a part of a campaign). LI (Leadership Institute) teaches the mechanics of politics, plus (during the boot camps) they give students LOTS of excellent books! :) (always a bonus for home schoolers and other interesting in researching and getting involved in politics)

All that to say, I was shocked at the marked difference between TeenPact students (current or former) and the other students in the classroom.

At the beginning of boot camp Derin (LI program director) informed the students to take "as many notes as possible" during each lectures. There were two notably different reactions by the students already. There was the "ah, yes. Notes, no problem." reaction and the "As many notes as possible?!! Oh my gosh.. I cannot leave one word from the slides out of my note book!!" The latter reaction came mainly from the home school students (we can, after all, be an oddly compulsive group of people). But the second, more noticeable difference were the interactions with the students and the speakers (which only accentuated my respect for TeenPact professionalism). The first guest speaker had just completed his dynamic speech and, obviously, an applause was in order. Every student applauded, by the TeenPacters looked around the room, expectantly for the other students to give a standing ovation, as they had... and they did.
Upon the completion of the second speaker though, the TeenPacters tuned into the difference in speaker protocol and did not stand but merely applauded.

Fascinatingly enough the TeenPact students either ate with one another or ate with their parent - not necessarily with the other students. Talk about segregation! (Speaking as a TeenPact student) We knew the protocol and the expectations of the other TP students and this was a different group of people with different motives behind their desire getting politically involved... with different moral standards.

I fully support the Leadership Institute and will continue looking for, and when the opportunity arrives, attend their events. But, honestly, after this weekend I don't see myself getting any more involved with politics outside of volunteering. Some politics are ugly, and it appears to be a dog-eats-dog system. C'mon, I would have a guilt complex just thinking about publishing extremely negative information about my opponent! Does this mean I won't think critically or get involved? Absolutely not. Analyzing can be a shear pleasure and I enjoy writing (as you see). Research is a hobby of mind as is photography, attending political events, making connections with people in higher office than myself (which doesn't take a whole lot since I'm only a student), and learning gas much about leadership and standing up for my beliefs (based on a Biblical standard) as I can.

I will stay involved, I will use my voice, I will take action... But I will also do my best to be above reproach, go above and beyond and raise the bar of expectation.
Will you do the same?

For more information on sending your high school student to a TeenPact school or Leadership Institute event please visit their web sites:
http://www.teenpact.com/
http://www.leadershipinstitute.org/

For more conservative political resources visit:
http://www.isi.org/
http://www.hawkeyereview.com/

Many internship programs are involved for students who wants to get involved

http://www.conservativeinternships.com/

http://www.conservativejobs.com/

http://www.leadershipinstitute.com/

http://www.isifellowship.org/

First Spring Rain

2009-03-23T20:51:00.001-07:00

It rained today! All day - on and off, hard :)
Thunder and lightening graced the outdoors as enormous bundles of water careened to earths crust, splattering against pavement and dry ground. Withered grass has suddenly held a hint of green in it’s stalk, reaching high into the sky as if saying “Ah! I am revived! Winter is coming to a close, and flowers will soon bloom… and we shall enjoying dancing in a gentle, warm breeze as we used to do at dusk on a Spring day…”

There will be bunches of exploding blooms spilling out of a crystal vases in the center of every single surface in our house in just a few weeks!
I cannot wait until I can post pictures of all of Spring’s beauties!!

However, I am getting ahead of myself and there are just pictures of Spring showers to share with the world! I hope you enjoy them! Have a great ante-winter week :)

Okay, this picture was taken more like mid-Summer, but the clouds are beautiful!!
Spring rain 2009 :)

Birds flying before a storm

Clouds looming over head

Longing for Spring

2009-03-15T20:06:00.000-07:00

Moths playing hide and seek amongst some mintfront-porch Fusia

Frost-covered mums
Our blooming crab apple tree
right after spring shower

The major theme in a lot of blog posts that I have seen this week are Spring-based. Stinky for someone who still has a few weeks yet until winter is "over." Unfortunately we can still get blizzards through April, here in the great plains. I am so jealous of y'all who get to experience the wonderful fragrance of fresh blooms already! Can you send some of your spring-time over here please?

Because I've been pouting about not having any spring time here I figured I could at least fantasize about it and look at last years pictures of our wonderful spring blooms... but then I just couldn't help but share!

I hope y'all enjoy :)

Have a wonderful week and superb weekend!!

Paper Craft Wednesday

2009-03-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

True, it's a Valentines card, but it's my favorite card this year (so far :) This picture may seem a bit confusing at first. I created a base card (using red card stock) and then a second, which (when folded) was half the size of the base card. So it's actually two cards glued, one on top of the other. You can open up the card either way, for a note, open the right side, and for the floral picture you open up the pink card on the left.

He Knows His Plans for Me!! :)

2009-03-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

Gals 2 Gether Formal 12/07Gals 2Gether Spring Tea 6/08The girls and I after the Tea 6/08

Top: Me :)

Bottom row (L to R): Emily, Rachel, Paige, Kate

For several weeks I have been muling over the different options out there after I graduate. Different colleges, internships, trades, jobs, traveling opportunities... the list goes on... and on... and on!

Hardly being able to keep my mind off the anxiety inducing, pain causing subject (which has a side-effect of twitching) I've tried discussing the topic with mom. Both of us have come up with different strategies to attack the unnerving fact that I must step outside "The Big Door."

Actually it's not that unnerving. I have done lots of traveling throughout my life, and have family just about everywhere in the US :)

However, as I was reading through some of my note books about my goals, dreams, thoughts, passions, desires and what "makes me tick" (although using that expression causes me to think of a clock.... not something someone enjoys doing....). The common theme throughout all these note books and goals and visions for my future actually has to do with woman's/ girls ministry.

I started a girls Protocol group called Gals 2Gether. For two semesters we worked through a wonderfully enjoyable little book called "Protocol Matters." Actually we read through the book.. while discussing interesting topics regarding cultures view on beauty, the Christian beauty, cultural issues, manners, etiquette, what would be fun to do next year... etc.. etc..

As a celebration of our success in the completion of Protocol Matters we enjoyed a spectacular formal tea party in December of '07. Not only was the party fun in the sense that we were well mannered "ladies"... but we also enjoyed smashing Cream Puffs between our hands... at each other... After this we exchanged gifts. Before we started the book each girl was assigned another girl in our group. This was her "secret sister." The sister was supposed to find out as much as possible about the other girl without being found out. Then she bought and gave a gift to her based on the girls likes and hobbies.

As I look through the filled-out questionnaires handed out to each one of the girls the first day the group met at a local coffee shop, I have to smile. It was so much fun chatting, giggling, sharing experiences in life, laughing, relating to one another, getting odd looks from the college students who were "working" on their lap tops... :)

Watching each girl grow, mature and strive to become who God intended her to be is one of the most fulfilling satisfying things in life!

Perhaps doing what God intends me to do after high school is as simple as continuing and growing in what I am already doing!

"... To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes; the oil of gladness instead of mourning; And a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called Oaks of Righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of His splendor!"

Psalm 60:3 NIV translation

Tomorrow Today

2009-01-24T18:50:00.001-08:00

Can you Hear Them Crying? Can you hear us crying? Can you hear me crying? "And there was the moon, as big as anything!
I saw your face, poppa...
did you see mine?
I miss you, I want to come home soon..." Dance with me! Learn to laugh, to play,
To be a child again!

"I am no longer a child, I have learned hatred!

Now, I am already and adult.

I have known fear."

A group of nine home schoolers (myself included) will be performing a heart-wrenching, tear-jerker tragedy titled "Can you Hear Them Crying?" next Saturday.
The half hour drama is about the children's lives in one of World War II's ghetto's, Theresienstadt. Throughout the drama poems are recited, which the children of Terezin wrote while in the ghetto.
Three "butterflies" grace the stage, as a theme, throughout the entire performance, representing what childhood was for these children and what it should be - happy, vibrant zoe. During this time in history, however, life was quite the opposite. Dark, oppressive, fear filled, depressing, surreal, and in the twilight zone these children somehow lived their lives... only to die.

On a happier note:)

Tomorrow mom and I head on a great adventure - just "looking" at (adorable) puppies. The purpose of this expedition is so see the personalities and character of the puppies (which are Aussies) as well as the mothers personality and character.

I'm actually quite nervous. It's a huge responsibility, and I know that I will inevitably mess up as far as the puppy is concerned (whether that be training, socialization or the like). However, because of my perfectionistic personality, I really don't want to!

I truly desire a puppy- desire to get one and raise one, train one, and have a dog with me for the next decade or so of my life. But I know with anything "great" in life comes serious responsibility, and I want to be responsible to the best of my capabilities. If that means not investing in another dog right now, so be it. I will know when I meet the puppies whether or not I will be able to do right by my family, myself and the puppy when I see their personalities, character and observe this particular breeds needs.

Poetry, Poetry, What a Wonderous Hobby!!

2009-01-22T14:35:00.000-08:00

After sharing this poem with mom (which I got from The Grammer of Poetry book by Matt Whitling, which we are doing for school) she laughed so hard I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to share it!!

Carmen Possum

Writting by: Matt Whitling (I think)

The nox was lit by lux iof Luna,

And 'twas a nox most opportuna

To catch a possum or a coona;

For nix was scattered o'er this mundus,

A shallow nix, et non pfrofundus.

On sic a nox with canis unus,

Two boys went out to hunt for coonus.

The corpus of this bonus canis

Was full as long as octo span is,

But brevior legs had canis never

Quam had hic dog; et bonus clever,
Some used to say, in stultum jocum

Quod a field was too small locum

For sic a dog to make a turnus

Circum self from stem to sternus.

Unis canis, duo puer,

Nunquam braver; nunquam truer,

Quam hoc trio nunquam fuit,

If there was I never knew it.

This bonus dog had one bad habit,

Amabat much to tree a rabbit,

Amabat plus to chase a rattus,

Amabat bene tree a cattus.

But on this nixy moonlight night

This old canid did just right.

Nunquam treed a starving rattus,

Nunquam chased a starving cattus.

But sucurrit on, intentus

On the track and on the scentus,

Till he trees a possum strongum,

In a hollow trunkum longum.

Loud he barked in horrid bellum,

Seemed on terra vehit pellum.

Quickly ran the duo puer

Mors of possum to secure.

Quam venerit, one began

To chop away like quisque man.

Soon the axe went through the truncum

Soon he hit it all kerchunkum;

Combat deepens, on ye braves!

Canis, pueri et staves;

as his powers non longius tarry,

Possum potest, non pugnare.

On the nix his corpus lieth.

Down to Hades spirit flieth,

Joyful pueri, canis bonus,

Think him dead as any stonus.

Now they seek heir pater's domo,

Feeling proud as any homo,

Knowing, certe, they will blossom

Into heroes, when with possum

They arrive, narrabunt story,

Lenus blood et plenior glory.

Pompey, David, Samson, Caesar,

Cyrus, Black Hawk, Shalmanezer!

Tell me where est now the gloria,

Where the honors of victoria?

Nunc a domum narrent story,

Plenus sanguine, tragic, gory.

Pater praiseth, likewise mater,

Wonders greatly younger frater.

Possum leave they on mundus,

Go themselves to sleep profundus,

Somniut possums slain in battle,

Strong as ursae, large as cattle.

When nox gives way to lux of morning,

Albam terram much adorning,

Up they jump to see the varmen,

Of the which this is the carmen.

Lo! possum est resurrectum!

Ecce pueri dejectum,

Ne relinquit track behind him,

Et the pueri never find him.

Cruel possum! bestia vilest,

How the pueros thou beguilest!

Pueri think non plus of Caesar,

Go ad Orcum, Shalmanezer,

Take your laurels, cum the honor,

Since ista possum is a goner!

I think I can safely say that the relationship between Canus and rodentus is equivilent to the homo relationship with goodus and evilest (I made the latter two words up... ;), except that in the end good wins, and evil is conquered! My big theological thought for the day *laughs*

Hope you enjoyed it!

Oh, BTW this is a mix of Latin words and our modern American tognue :) I don't know all of the latin in here, but it's fun to look up!!!

I Just Didn't Realize before....

2009-01-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

That a major con of living out in the country is that nobody hardly ever visits! Why should they? Town is 30 miles away.
We live in a highly rural area. Our nearest neighbor is a half a mile away (for some people, that's close relatively speaking:). Our closest neighbor less than 1/2 mile away is the cows (during the Spring-Fall), but more often than not Coyotes and Hawks.
For the second time this month we have planned a get-together with a friend (where the friend drives thirty miles to our house). And, again, the friend doesn't end up coming. The roads are possibly horrid. It's a long, cold, desolate drive that few people dare to make.
When will we have a guest again?
For the second time this month we have cleaned the house (so much it's almost hard to stand). We have tried to look nice for our guests (as home schoolers this simply means trying to look less geeky *laughs*). Of course, a no show.
I'm sure there is a very good reason for this, however this makes for another highly disappointing day of the same old jobs, school, drama practice, more school, some more jobs, eating, cleaning the kitchen and then going to bed.
But I suppose this is life and one must grin and bear it!

Drama, here we come!

On A Different Note

2009-01-20T19:20:00.000-08:00

Sweet Sun-Set

Sweet Sun-set and Window Sage

The glare is horrid on this last one!! Sorry -

The weather has been absolutely spectacular! But not quite spectacular enough to lessen the craving for the intoxicating scents of Spring flowers.

I couldn't help myself - something must be done!! The result of this beautiful weather and obsession I have with the great, wild, flowery outdoors were these two pictures.

Enjoy:)

Perhaps Not Yet

2009-01-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I have been just a wee bit too eager to get another four legged friend.

After some more research on this particular breed Kahlua is, I am thinking that it is perhaps not the right breed for this time in life. However, I am still planning on visiting the puppy and her siblings within the next week - I do hope a time works out.

The dog I have drooled over my key board for is a Papillon. This spunky little toy dog was originialy found in the French Courts as a companion. Breeding standards say that a true Papillon weighs no more than ten pounds. I have found, however, that there are many papillons between 12-16 pounds. It is true that this dog is rather small (as I stated earlier a "toy" breed), but it is also very much a companion dog, loving it's owner and desiring to please. House breaking can be a little more difficult, as I have read it sometimes can be with smaller dogs though.

Alas, I have found no papillon puppy for what I can afford or in our area at the moment. Perhaps, yes perhaps I will either have to wait a little longer for this specific furry friend or "settle" for another breed. Or perhaps I will find that Kahula or one of her siblings is definitaly the puppy I want to be bringing into our home at this time in life.

Whatever the case, I'm so happy we have our Akita, Diamond (now ten) and am thoroughly excited to have the opportunities to learn more about canines!

Fuzzy, Soft, Warm

2009-01-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

Fuzzy, and soft; warm sticky kisses; and black wet noses!
What is not desirable about a puppy?

Okay, besides the loss of beloved, now chewed up house hold items, soiled carpets, puppy "spit"- up, fur all over everything and a bottle of energy waiting to erupt!!!

But isn't all that just so endearing? (save the lavatory-carpets and barf) But who honestly doesn't love a baby?

After years of trying to persuade the core of my parents being into adding an additional canine to our large clan, both parents (yes even mom who is not the biggest animal fan out there) have finally consented!!!

One may ask how in the world I plan on keeping a puppy healthy and happy when I am attending full time beauty school?

The incredible answers are:
I will be getting up very early, not starting school until early to mid Summer (a possibility is waiting until Fall, if needed), taking weekends off and asking my wonderful siblings to help me out when I need it)

The new addition is an adorable female, currently named Kahlua. (I think she'll recieve a new one though)

My youngest two siblings are now obsessed with our dog breeds and training books (which we have had for years, and have never until now seemed to be at all interested in J)

However, excitement will soon wear off, like rain runs off a tin roof, once everyone sees that this angelic looking baby is really truly just like every other dog when it makes it’s first mess on the carpet, or chews up someone’s left out toy. Although, hopefully, this will not occur too often, as I plan on crate training the pooch.

Already people have given the non-approving, questioning eye when we reveal our plan to add another member to our family - this adorable little bundle of energy. However with consistency, gentleness, strong affirming leadership, and the proper tools, I think we can pull this one off.

2009-01-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

Though our decision has been announce to few people, or rather my decision, I think it is somewhat safe to say that I, the author of this blog, have finally decided on a career.
The trade of finding, discovering and seeking out beauty in everyone you meet - in this case the practice of enhancing one's physical beauty

Upon hearing of my decision, many - of the few people I have told - have responded with some sort of negative response to my decision, which always followed an argument about all the negatives of my choice in trade.

I've heard about every excuse why not to go into the cosmetologist arena known to man.
"Those are blue collard people who can't get any better job..." "They're the cheerleaders of the bunch, making their rounds with the guys!...." "All beauticians / cosmetologists care about is how they look - their vain, stuffy, and believe in using lots of chemicals..."
The most surprising reason why "not" to take advantage of a fifteen month program that one can use immediately after completing was
"Oh you don't want to do that!!!" - The forever gift of mind reading that so many woman honestly believe they posses has come back to haunt me!

Although some of this are legitimate (but mostly not) my dads concerns perhaps hit closer to home, as far as my own concerns as well.
The temptation of getting a "tat" (tattoo). Piercing myself so much I weigh about twice as much as a normal young adult should; and leaning more towards the materialism and sexuality - not that the latter is wrong, it isn't, so long as it's kept sacred between you and your spouse - that posses today's trendy modern culture.

Dads ultimate concern was / is that the faith I have given to Jesus Christ would be lost.
This is also a concern of mine.

I deeply honor, respect, and love my dad. I don't want to, ever bring him cause to worry about my walk with God.
However, a mental decision that's already taken precedence though. And I'm pushing forward. I'll do the best I can.

Mom suggested I write out a contract with myself regarding beauty school.
The list so far is as follows

Do not...
1) Get any tattoos
2) Get any more piercings
I will...
3) Not become less modest, or more sexually appealing in my dress
4) Continue to be, and learn to become more teachable
5) Be understanding, teachable, respectful and honoring to my parents as they hold me accountable as their sister in Christ, and continue teaching me as their daughter
6) Grow more deeply in the knowledge of Jesus and my God - Yhwh

Honestly, I don't want to come out o school as so many of the young Christians like me do - lack of believe and faith, pierced or tattooed, partiers, sexually and sensually tuned, (and my personal less than g rated comment) not virgins. And yes, I am an absolute suck-er for those really sappy, "I waited to kiss until I was married" amazing stories :-)

Perhaps as I take these first steps unto learning this trade, I'll become more of the woman God intended me to be - seeking holy, righteous, Truth-filled, pure beauty, which He created.

Sigh...

2008-12-31T13:11:00.000-08:00

Our Akita, Diamond.

She is part Japanese part American Akita

- a beautiful breed!!

Our newly mothering cat adopted a wild baby bunny t

he day before she gave birth

to her second litter of kittens

Perhaps it is the cabin fever and arctic, cold, tundra like weather. Perhaps it is shear bordom from being cooped up inside for weeks on end looking forward to another three and a half months of cooped up-ness. Perhaps it is the adorable pictures posted all over the Internet.

A sudden "urge" has come over me. The sweet pictures of Welsh Harlequin ducks, beautiful pictures of Florida Cracker Horses, cuddly pictures of Romeldale/ CVM sheep and lambs... it doesn't help that all of these animals are on the "critical" "almost extinct" watch list. It's probably the maternal instinct kicking in at a ripe young age.

In 2006 I had a Suffolk sheep who (unexpectedly) gave birth to twin rams. She died from starvation. We had no idea she was expecting, and had two (very) cranky soon-to-be-mother goats who hogged the food. I figured the sheep was big enough to fight for her own food, but sadly found out she was passive and not the fighting type. After giving birth to her second ram she just lay in our barn floor - it was sad, pitiful, pathetic, and heart wrenching. Her runt, the second born, was still attached to the umbilical cord when I found them. I was shocked to find that she had given birth to two healthy, happy, tiny rams.

The vet gave the mother a few hours to live, and kept commenting on how surprised he was that the lambs were so healthy and so small.

We had two Suffolk sheep. A ram and a ewe. Both of them were given to me for my fourteenth birthday (two years before). I had not expected, was not at all prepared, and hadn't desired lambs, yet. We still needed to finish expanding and complete the inside of the barn before we had planned to start breeding the sheep.

The two ram lambs lived in the house for two weeks. It was the most wonderful experience in my entire life. I bottle fed the two little guys about two times a night (their first week three times). Cleaned up after them, and they slept rather comfortably in a laundry basket under my dresser by the vent to the heater (the only vent in my room). Lambies would cry to get attention, and would make cute little noises when I talked with them. When they were a week old I moved them to the mud room (which was down stairs). The runt became distraught and wouldn't hardly eat anything. The day before I gave them both to some friends who took better care of their sheep herd and dogs than most people do their kids, the runt wouldn't eat at all. It was sad and pitiful.

About a week after giving the two lambies to our sheep herding friends, the runt died.

Although we sent our Suffolk ram (the father of the lambs) to the auction last fall, and the experience was hard, sad, and emotionally taxing (to an extent and if you are an animal lover) I absolutely fell in love with sheep.

Both my parents have decided that we don't need animals right now, and in all honesty we don't. We do not have good fencing, don't have resources to get grains for less than an arm and a leg, do not have reliable sheds for animals, and don't have a excellent watering system as of yet, it is a beautiful fantasy to think about the possibility of owning sheep from the ALBC Conservation Priority List (preferably a breed in the critical category). Alright, it would be incredible to have sheep, possibly goats, horses, chickens, ducks and rabbits from the critical category, but hey, you have to start with something right? Why not sheep?

Heritage Farm Animal: http://www.albc-usa.org/

ALBC Watch List: http://www.albc-usa.org/cpl/wtchlist.html#ducks

Dairy Goat Journal (A sister magazine of "Countryside & Small stock journal): http://www.dairygoatjournal.com/

Welsh Harlequin Ducks (do your research :): http://www.cacklehatchery.com/harlequin.html

McMurray Hatchery (we have ordered from this Hatchery before and were very pleased): http://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/product/blue_swedish.html

Mt. Healthy Haterchies (have never ordered from this hatchery before, but are looking into it): http://www.mthealthy.com/product/BS-DK

My favorite Things…

2008-12-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

During the Winter

We have two younger kiddos in the family, so we rarely watch videos rating more than GJ Finding Nemo is definitely my favorite! Okay, Mary Poppins is better. The book “The Girl who Loved Wild Horses” was given to my by my great aunt twelve years ago, or so. I have thoroughly enjoyed the book ever since. An children’s book with incredible pictures! Tommy Tenney and Mark Andrew Olsen’s “The Hadassah covenant: A Queen’s Legacy,” which was given to me by my older sister for Christmas. Mom gave me a book called “The Kabul Beauty School” by Deborah Rodriguez, but she’s an avidly ambitious reader and high-jacked it. So I settled for Tommy Tenney’s, until mom gives the Kabul Beauty School back.. Oh, and of course Hot Chocolate is one of my favorite things!!!

The red, wool yarn is left over from a project mom did several years ago, so I figured it could go to good use in a scarf

The red lipstick was a Christmas gift from two years ago (yes, I still use it and still love it), the lotion by L’Occitane “Honey Miel & Lemon Citron” was given to me by my older sister (in the silver tube)
The black brooch is from mom’s jewelry box. There are so many things you can do with brooch’s! Last week, instead of buttoning a nice black dress sweater I pinned it with this little sucker. It works beautifully! The hat is also from mom - my "Elanor Dashwood" hat :) I bought the necklace while I was in Tennessee.

I’m sure if I thought about it I could come up with another three thousands lists of “my favorite things.” I thoroughly enjoy my colored pencil’s and drawing note-pad, Celtic Woman, and a song burned onto a CD (I have no clue who wrote the song but it’s incredible!!), as well as my feather-down, baby blue throw, and I thoroughly enjoy my pillow and bed!

Have a Happy New Year everyone!!

Style.. Style... Fashion... Style

2008-12-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

Victorian Era Revolutionary War Modern Make-up and Up-doo Are we sure this is a human being

and not just a manikin?

see, one can achieve the natural make-up look

and still have vibrant colors in their color pallet!!!

This years winter/ spring fashion brings a lot of bleak colors.

As a general rule I try to bring as much joy and as many vivacious (yet matching) colors into an outfit as possible. My goal is to show rejoicing, joy, beauty, femininity and style all at once. I don't always succeed, but I do try - and it's the though that counts... right?
In a lot of articles I have read in the past femininity and skirts go hand in hand (even in articles recently published by young woman, especially Christian woman). This, I believe, is not always true. Although skirts definitely add a unique flare to the western woman's wardrobe, I don't think skirts and dresses are the only way to achieve a feminine outfit. They are, however, the all-time world-renowned "woman outfit" though. A lot of fashion magazines and popular magazines show woman dressed in some sort of dress or skirt looking thing on the cover (most of the time it resembles lingerie more than a dress).

Femininity is probably captured most in the late 1800's and early 1900's (yes, I am again referring to the Victorian and Edwardian eras, as I did in a post immediately before this one). The definition of a well defined male/ female culture in history. Frills, pastels, flowers, ribbon, pearls, beads covered the attire of the woman of that time. Hair-doo's consisted of curls, up-doo's, lace, ribbons, hats, teased hair. To an extent, not much different than today's. Woman desired the more "dewy" facial looks than that dramatic look that so many people seek today.
If you go back even further to 1700's, mostly in France, woman had perfected their feminine - identity - to the point of ridiculousness!! Woman used so many beauty products on their hair alone that the darn thing could weight as heavy as six pounds! Not including the yards, and yards, and yards of silk, or the pounds of pears and jewels that a rich woman would adorn herself with. To keep lice out of clothing (they were attracted to the products that the woman used in their hair) woman would tie glass tears filled with honey inside their hoop skirts. As the lice climbed up their skirt they would smell the sweet incense of honey and drown in it. YUCK!! Talk about desperation for femininity!

Eew!!

Going back to my original point, femininity can be easily seen in the sort of attire that woman in France would wear. Lots of lace, pastel colors, and clothing that (sometimes) accented their body types. I'm not talking about the plunging necklines (although they had plenty of those) or over done make-up (though that was also quite popular too)... Woman in that era knew how to use the resources around them to distinguish men from themselves. Woman wore flowery things (hair decorations, flower shaped jewelery, patterned dress, clothing adornments, shoe adornments etc.), pearls (the light color and softness of a pearl somehow causes a woman's skin to look quite radiant and elegant), lace (which softens ones appearance), colors that look good on the woman (since ivory, even white skin tones were popular during this time, fabrics mainly consisted of pastel colors).

In the Victorian era this was also the case. Ivory skin tones, floral patterns, lots of lace, pretty pastel colors, pearls, emphasis on the hair (BIG hair as you eased into the Edwardian era) and also high heels (boots especially).

What strikes me the most, that our culture has lost, is the differences between how men dress and how woman dress. The trend this last Summer was for woman to wear "manly suit jackets." A couple of years ago the "boy-friend sweater" look was in for teenage girls. What in the world? Sure, I get he masculine "strong" thing - I am a girl - but seriously, do we really need to look so much like guys that the "all natural make-up" and "pants and T-shirt" thing makes it hard to differentiate between men and woman (unless the woman is also wearing a tight shirt, high heeled boots, or some other hint of her gender).

I was reading "Kabul Beauty School" yesterday (I was half way done when mom swiped it) and was rather insulted when I read "People in Afghanistan think western woman look manly - homely men at that" (paraphrased). Western woman have gone with the "natural look." This sometimes consists of just mascara, sometimes foundation and mascara with some "natural" skin tones on one's eye lids. Don't get me wrong, please, I used to wear just mascara. I didn't even start wearing make-up regularly until I was about seventeen. being shy, introverted, and not liking to appear to be drawing attention to myself make-up was not appealing to me. However, I love painting my eye lids all sorts of colors now!! Not for the attention, but because it's fun, and it's like painting a picture:
"How can I use colors to manipulate my natural skin tones and make my nose look smaller, or eyes look larger, or cheek bones more prominent."
It's all quite different for every individual!

The newest "runway look" is pale skin, big eyes, with gray colors. Ick! Are they trying to make their manikin looking models appear to be ill with some dread disease?
(Believe me when I say I'm very well aware that I am opinionated)
I don't think fashion or make-up is everything, nor do I think we should go "over the top" just to get attention.
However I am strongly convinced that woman were created to be creative and that includes are own faces and wardrobe. Even in Song of Solomon the bride is said to have "pomegranate cheeks." This implies, to me, that she applied some sort of blush. It was popular for court woman of that time to wear make-up in order to look their absolute best before the people (as a representative of the people as a whole).

Are we not representatives of something in life? For me this is my faith in Jesus. I am an ambassador for Jesus Christ. I also believe that I do all things for the glory of God! It seems, to me, this included my outfits and make-up.
God is a god of beauty, joy, and peace. Should I not show this all in the way I dress (and act- but that's another post some other time)?

Yeah, I guess I covered a LOT of ground here, and maybe rambled a bit, but these are thoughts and ideas that I have kept locked up inside for quite a while, and I would really like to share them with someone!

I hope you enjoyed it :)

Happy Holidays and Happy New Years!!

99 Things To Do

2008-12-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

I saw this meme over at Harmony Art Mom's (Barb) blog and thought it looked like fun. So, grab a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and learn a bit more about me.The items I have done/experienced are in green...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world.
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped - but I sure want to!!!
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - yes and no. Mom's an artist at heart :)
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train - This is another "no but I want to"
21. Had a pillow fight - if you have siblings this is an daily occurrence almost.
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - am home schooled, so I can't get away with it :)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb and a kid goat
26. Gone skinny dipping - almost did.
27. Run a Marathon - does Awanas count?
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - no but I have seen Sioux Falls in Falls Park SD.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Some day...
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person..on my list ;)
39. Gone rock climbing - another not quite, but truly desire to.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight in FL and Puerto Rico - no but does a swimming pool in FL by moonlight count?
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - another "on my to do list"
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class - for a month. Bad teacher.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - *sighs* to do list.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - and again, to do.
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter ~ all by accident too!!!
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - umm.... maybe... or not
81. Visited the Vatican - to do :)
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem - to do list.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House - no but I wasn't far from it :)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - that's disgusting!!!
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Alright...now that you know a bit more about me, I wanna know more about you! So, copy this and paste it on your blog, answer the questions, and then leave me a comment so I can read it!

Vermillion Road

No Word Omits

Of the Wind

Speak Out!

Breathless

Time for a Change

Oxford English Mini...

Capturing The Little Things...

You Are Sixteen...

I Want to Be Like Mommy When I Grow Up!

Take the Coal: Purify My Heart

Set Your Word Upon My Heart; Engraved Within My Soul

Home

Pink Nail Decals

Thinking.... Perhaps too much?

Attitude!

Drinking From My Saucer

Thoughts 101

My Plans vs. God's

Thoughts for the Day... Sunday, =)

Humph!... And... *sigh*.... Really?

Excerpt Of Literature

Stepp'n Forward

Certain Women...

So much to write... So little time... A listening ear?

Ummm....

Three Hit-'N-Run Lines....

A month?! REALLY? ALREADY?

Poetry, by Henry Wordsworth Longfellow

Think Goose!

Crowned!

Knitting!

EVERYONE'S (getting) SICK!

A matter of Intensity

Frosty the... Umm... Snow? Ice?

Story

!!RECALLED!!!

Heaven is in Their Face...

Quiet Thoughtfulness... And the Lack there of!

I am BLESSED!

Pearl of Great Price

Home Sweet Home

November 2009

Refined by Fire - FYI

Refined By Fire - It ain't over yet!

Refined by Fire - Update Oct. 26, '09. PM

A List of Needs- literally

Lead me to the Cross Prt 2

"Lead Me to the Cross..."

Holy of Holies

Want Two Books?

A Ferocious Fight for the Heart of Man

Graduation Pictures

Graduation

The Bar of Expectation

First Spring Rain

Longing for Spring

Paper Craft Wednesday

He Knows His Plans for Me!! :)

Tomorrow Today

Poetry, Poetry, What a Wonderous Hobby!!

I Just Didn't Realize before....

On A Different Note

Perhaps Not Yet

Fuzzy, Soft, Warm

Sigh...

My favorite Things…

Style.. Style... Fashion... Style

99 Things To Do

Humph!... And... sigh.... Really?