Holy of Holies

"Take me past the outer courts into the Holy Place;

past the Brazen alter - Lord I want to see your face;

Take me past the crowds of people and the priest who sing your praise.

I hunger and thirst for your righteousness, but it's only found in one place.

Take me into the Holy of Holy's; Take me in by the Blood of the Lamb; take me into the Holy of Holy's; take the coal, touch my lips. Here I am."

- Kutless 'Take Me In."

Life can dish out some pretty crazy stuff. Crazier than even I had thought.

Abuse and neglect were two verbs I have only ever experienced through the "Big Screen" - my "big door" to reality, in a sense.

A friend of mine recently shared some of their history with me. Vaguely explaining the situation they grew up in, giving me just a wee taste of what life might possibly be like without a daddy whose arms I can run into, whenever I feel an emotional deficit, or that craving for attention, affirmation and someone stronger and bigger than I to help me stand on my feet again.

A life without a father to look up to, who also was the daddy you could run to; a life without a mother who honored and cherished the relationship she had with her husband - who cherished me. A life without a Poppa who was in love with his wife, protected, loved and respected the beautiful woman he had chosen to spend his life with; a life where the people I looked up to didn't share the same house as I.

- This life style is so totally and completely different from anything I have ever known.

So different, in fact, that my mind cannot stretch enough to even begin to fathom a life of abuse and such deep rooted pain.

Such questions as: Why would a dad hurt his children, or his wife? He chose to marry her? If he despised her so much why did he commit to living his life with her? Does he not understand marriage vows?

Yes, I seem very naive. Probably, in all honesty, I am very naive.

You see, I have grown up with, since I can remember as a little six year old, a father who told me "I only represent the Abba Father you have in Heaven. God entrusted me with you to take care of and love, but I'm human and I won't always do a good job (I'll stumble and fall). God gave you to me to steward, to teach about God - your real Daddy. There will be some day when I won't be here, and you'll have to completely depend on God to be your daddy."

At one time he mentioned "I hope I can do as good a job as He entrusted me to do..."

What complete love. The love I have grown up with, felt, experienced and been shown since I was just a tiny little being.

For a couple years I have been in deep prayer and reflection about why God has chosen to place me here, for this season. Through prayer, I have received, many times, the word "hidden."

Now, when one hides something, when speaking about other people, specifically women, one may think of a women hidden behind a veil due to shame based emotions, religion, and over all a shame-based psychology.

This is not the mentality God would have us live, I believe. To be hidden because you are ashamed is not what God has intended for mankind, and this is not what he meant when he gave me the word "hidden."

To be hidden, more in the context of buried treasure is, I believe, what the God of the Universe was referring to.

The life-style we lead is very different, weird if you will, compared to the rest of the American culture (possibly even world in general). I have been blessed with parents who firmly believe Philippians 4:8 should be taken seriously and that "what you put into your brain will eventually come out (to haunt you/ bless you, hurt others/ bless others, etc.)."

Our life-style is very secluded. We enjoy the company of other human beings, who wouldn't? Intelligent conversation with homo sapien's is a hobby of ours, and frivolous-very-bubbly-sometimes-stupid conversations with other girls is something I freely waste my time on, so long as the time and place are right.

In our secluded and weird life-style, I have found loneliness to be a close companion of mine, as have my siblings, and even my parents at times.

Loneliness is due to the lack of emotional connection with like-minded people whom share the same season of life with you. Very few people have I shared any particular season of life with. Loneliness is a rampant disease in the hearts, minds and emotional core of my generation.

Honestly, I am in firm belief that this loneliness is actually a blessing, in a way. In being lonely I have "not seen the real world" and so "do not live in the real world."

In other words, I have not experienced those things that teenagers normally experience while trying to figure themselves out in a world that really doesn't care much for who they are as individuals. A world where sex and drugs rage wild in youth and young adults. Where alcohol numbs the mind and soul of any real sense of belonging, Agape love, Hope, Truth, Light, LIFE, fulfillment, forgiveness... and so many other nouns, verbs and adjectives, of so many youngsters.

In my loneliness, in my seclusion, in the hiddeness God has kept me in, I find I've been protected. I've been shielded. Loved, and held to the highest standard of living. He's truly kept me in "the apple of His eye."

He has "never left me nor forsaken me."

He will "be with me always."
Where I go "there He will be also."

God will not leave you. He has not, and He will never forsake you. Loneliness is probably protection. Nothing is ever as it seems. The unexpected is to be expected. And Principalities and Powers wage war.

If ever you need anything, run, sprint.. leap into His arms. They were made for you to run into.

If ever you fall down, and are crying for help, in pain, lonely, miserable, hopeless, doubting, call upon the Might One - He'll pick you up.

He'll lift you up.

He's standing beside you.

He's felt your pain.

When you have hit rock bottom and you don't know which way is up or down, call upon the Lord. He'll lead you into His Holy of Holy's - and there none can harm you.

"If God is for you, who can be against you."

When God is with you, who can harm you?

You have the Lord "what can man do to you?"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path (or make your path strait)"

Proverbs 3:5-6

Want Two Books?

Last week, as I thought about all the incredible things that come out of a garden, and how much fun it is to bake/ cook food directly out of the garden (you can get pretty artistic!!) I decided to start writing on new-found recipes, my gardening adventures and basically anything regarding to my garden space, kitchen and how you can link the two together with some imagination :)

I must say, it's been a lot of fun taking and posting pictures, looking for things that are seemingly insignificant, but actually contribute quite a bit to a healthy garden (such as painted turtles, rainbow colored butterflies, and frogs springing to and froe).
Capturing the moment is probably the most frusterating aspect, however it adds a tastey challenge to my day-to-day life.

Also, The Art of Femininity is another blog which encourages Godly femininity pretty through every aspect of life and dissects all "Godly Femininity" means, could mean, and is defined according to the Bible.
The Art of Femininity is holding a book drawing this month. In order to apply for the book drawing, you need to read "Honor, Patronage, Kinship and Purity" by David A. deSilva.

DeSilva's book is actually quite fascinating, as the author "Unlocks New Testement culture."
When you have completed the book, and written a book review on your blog, comment on The Art of Femininity's "Challenge" blogpost, with your blog title and name.
There will be a drawing, for all those who accepted the challenge, on the weekend of July 12th, 2009.
If your name is drawn you'll be contacted through a commont on your latest blog post, giving you an email to send your address to - shipping is taken care of :)

God richly bless you this week!

A Ferocious Fight for the Heart of Man

“You cannot serve both God and Mammon”

Either you serve God, or Mammon. If you serve God, you cannot serve

You do not serve God. You do not serve Mammon,
Therefore, you serve Mammon Therefore, you serve God

1. Luke 16:13 states that “a servant cannot serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Mammon,” Luke 16:13

The term “Mammon” can be translated a couple of different, ways, the most common being “money.” For the purpose of this essay, however, I will be defining “Mammon” as “wealth for it’s own sake.”
The general population of America lives out this mentality with a ferocious zest. Despite poles stating that the majority of Americans are “Christian”, this majority also proclaims “success is defined by the number of zeros in your bank account,” “fewer kids, fewer bills, a successful life,” and “buy a new car, it saves on gas.” This majority goes to church in buildings costing thousands, if not millions of dollars. Their whole lives are caught up in this fantastic money making monster, and hardly take a break from it.
Although I have never had the opportunity to live an upper-middle class, or wealthy life style, and so don’t know from personal experience how money can draw one in and become a possible addiction, I do believe that a majo reason for the Unitesd States economic struggle we are facing, as of May, 2009, is not only due to natural economic fluctuations, but also due to my generation, and that of my parents, over-the-top, frivolous, “because I deserve it” psychology.
My uncle and his family try to life a Christian life-style (which, in my opinion differs greatly from a Christ-like life-style) count success in dollar bill signs. As my uncle and sister discussed the hardships of living a life free of financial wealth (as our family has due to unusual circumstances), and living always on the look out for God’s moving in our lives, he admittedly stated:
“I would rather my brother (my dad) not be a business man in his trade as

a psychologist, because then he would be a money shark and not much

care for his clients.. nor would he be nearly as eager a listener (which has

been a great blessing and quite helpful in my life for several years)”

Even those how do try, and consider themselves to be “good Christians” take up the monstrosity of the money god, battling this state of mind daily.
In all probably, this battle has been going on for hundreds, if not thousands of years. What better lie to bestow on mankind than “if you don’t provide above and beyond abundance for your family financially, then you are a failure.” Even in the Garden of Eden the Serpent used Mammon to logically seduce Eve into exchanging her non-material relationship with Abba God for material possession, or ownership, of “being like God” – “knowing good and evil.”

(In our day and age this could also be defined as “differentiating from your parents (God, in Adam and Eve’s case, was their parent – and having the “wealth of independence” from God, their parent… And this has been the state of mind since the Garden of Eden, and is Mammon in it’s most clearly defined way.)

In my own life, I see Mammon clawing, fighting, seeking every way possible to entice me into thinking of him as fondly, if not more, as my Eternal Abba, God.
He has taken a foothold, I believe, in my life, more than once, and catches me by surprise in little, “inconsequential” things; such as my future, dear of having no financial cushion, fear of losing control of my life on this earth, etc. Only through the tender blood and courageous, infinite strength of my Lord Jesus Christ can Mammon release himself from me, and I throw myself at the feet of Jesus, proclaiming, “His kingdom come, His will be done,” and not Mammon kingdom, nor my will.
All this being said Satan’s faithful fight for victory over our hearts is very real, through the power of Mammon. And in order to fight back, we must remember that wealth is not found in independence from God, but independence of worldly good and complete and utter dependence on our fiercely passionate Abba Father, God of the Universe, in Heaven, with us.

(This essay was written as a part of lesson Ten in Traditional Logic by Martin Cothran.)

Graduation Pictures

Mom took all of these pictures early this month, for graduation.



She is truly an artist, don't you think?

The top three were my "official" graduation invitation pictures. The last two are just a couple of a whole slue of fun pictures!

We took about an hour to take them all, but it was so much fun. I wish mom and I could do stuff like this more often (hanging out playing)...

Graduation

My Mother and baby sister, Hannah Grace

Woo Hoo! I'm FINALLY graduating from High School, thanks to my mother :)

I am so privileged to have had the opportunity to learn from, be taught by, and showered by all the talents and blessings of my mother.

Having been home schooled my entire life, I think I have had a much more impactful relationship with my mother, in the sense that I look to her as a friend and look to her for advice in life, as apposed to asking people my age who lack the knowledge and wisdom of time and age, just as I do.

My mother's extraordinary patience and zeal that pave the way for each of us kids' education is absolutely incredible. She's very artistic and creative. Every moment is a teaching moment.
My mother's mind-set of "it's the little things that make a day brighter" challenges me to find the beauty and joy in all of creation, especially in circumstances that seemingly have no positive attributes to speak of.

When I grow up, I want to be just like my mother:
A vivacious light to all who see her. Bubbling over with love for her family and the passions that God has given her.
I want to be obedient to my Father in Heaven and "just keep walking" when I stumble, just as she does.

I want to grow in my talents and gifts, using them in my day-to-day life to bring glory to God and bless others, just like her; to be a teacher, mentor and student of my future children, and honor, serve and passionately love my future husband, just like my mother.

I love my mother very much.

The Bar of Expectation

If you've got something to write, then write it! If you have something to say, say it! If you see something that needs done or something that needs changed, do it! Change it!
However, always remember to be treating those around you the way you want to be treated.

This past weekend (March 28-29) brought loads of excitement, learning, challenge and an inadequate amount of sleep. The Leadership Institute hosted two days worth of lectures. They called the weekend "Leadership Institute Political Boot camp."

Everything from how to wear a name tag correctly to exciting projects to put together for your campaign volunteers was discussed.

What I found to be the most interesting aspect of the boot camp, though, was how the TeenPact students and the other students (college student or other high school students) interacted with one another and how different the were from each other. There was a marked difference.

A slight disclaimer, before I continue writing and you continue reading:
I strongly recommend you send any high school-college aged students in your household to a Leadership Institute event. They are very informative, you learn and grow a lot, and basics on running a part of a campaign (and some not-so-basics on running a part of a campaign). LI (Leadership Institute) teaches the mechanics of politics, plus (during the boot camps) they give students LOTS of excellent books! :) (always a bonus for home schoolers and other interesting in researching and getting involved in politics)

All that to say, I was shocked at the marked difference between TeenPact students (current or former) and the other students in the classroom.

At the beginning of boot camp Derin (LI program director) informed the students to take "as many notes as possible" during each lectures. There were two notably different reactions by the students already. There was the "ah, yes. Notes, no problem." reaction and the "As many notes as possible?!! Oh my gosh.. I cannot leave one word from the slides out of my note book!!" The latter reaction came mainly from the home school students (we can, after all, be an oddly compulsive group of people). But the second, more noticeable difference were the interactions with the students and the speakers (which only accentuated my respect for TeenPact professionalism). The first guest speaker had just completed his dynamic speech and, obviously, an applause was in order. Every student applauded, by the TeenPacters looked around the room, expectantly for the other students to give a standing ovation, as they had... and they did.
Upon the completion of the second speaker though, the TeenPacters tuned into the difference in speaker protocol and did not stand but merely applauded.

Fascinatingly enough the TeenPact students either ate with one another or ate with their parent - not necessarily with the other students. Talk about segregation! (Speaking as a TeenPact student) We knew the protocol and the expectations of the other TP students and this was a different group of people with different motives behind their desire getting politically involved... with different moral standards.

I fully support the Leadership Institute and will continue looking for, and when the opportunity arrives, attend their events. But, honestly, after this weekend I don't see myself getting any more involved with politics outside of volunteering. Some politics are ugly, and it appears to be a dog-eats-dog system. C'mon, I would have a guilt complex just thinking about publishing extremely negative information about my opponent! Does this mean I won't think critically or get involved? Absolutely not. Analyzing can be a shear pleasure and I enjoy writing (as you see). Research is a hobby of mind as is photography, attending political events, making connections with people in higher office than myself (which doesn't take a whole lot since I'm only a student), and learning gas much about leadership and standing up for my beliefs (based on a Biblical standard) as I can.

I will stay involved, I will use my voice, I will take action... But I will also do my best to be above reproach, go above and beyond and raise the bar of expectation.
Will you do the same?





For more information on sending your high school student to a TeenPact school or Leadership Institute event please visit their web sites:
http://www.teenpact.com/
http://www.leadershipinstitute.org/

For more conservative political resources visit:
http://www.isi.org/
http://www.hawkeyereview.com/

Many internship programs are involved for students who wants to get involved

http://www.conservativeinternships.com/

http://www.conservativejobs.com/

http://www.leadershipinstitute.com/

http://www.isifellowship.org/

First Spring Rain

It rained today! All day - on and off, hard :)
Thunder and lightening graced the outdoors as enormous bundles of water careened to earths crust, splattering against pavement and dry ground. Withered grass has suddenly held a hint of green in it’s stalk, reaching high into the sky as if saying “Ah! I am revived! Winter is coming to a close, and flowers will soon bloom… and we shall enjoying dancing in a gentle, warm breeze as we used to do at dusk on a Spring day…”

There will be bunches of exploding blooms spilling out of a crystal vases in the center of every single surface in our house in just a few weeks!
I cannot wait until I can post pictures of all of Spring’s beauties!!

However, I am getting ahead of myself and there are just pictures of Spring showers to share with the world! I hope you enjoy them! Have a great ante-winter week :)

Okay, this picture was taken more like mid-Summer, but the clouds are beautiful!!
Spring rain 2009 :)

Birds flying before a storm

Clouds looming over head