Humph!... And... *sigh*.... Really?

(For the purpose of this writing, the terms, "pastor," "preacher," "leader," "evangelist," "fisher of men," and "disciple," will all be separated into different meanings.
Being a
Pastor - a person who has a personal and emotional connection and investment with you, as someone they care about, care for, and love genuinely. They know who you are and are personally invested in your spirituality and emotional/ spiritual state of being.
Preacher- a man, or woman, who speaks publicly in the church at the pulpit on Sundays (these types of humans are much more common than pastors)
Leader- a person who carries a certain amount of charisma, which attracts others to them. People naturally flock to these people to be directed for a common vision and goal. These people have a clear direction, vision, mission, commission, calling and goal for their life: their lives are this vision.
Evangelist- a person, man or woman, who's main mission in life is to spread the gospel to the far reaches (and close knit) of the earth. They see their job in life as sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with those they come into contact with, in a formal way (public speaking, preaching, etc.)
Fisher of Men- these people are a certain type of evangelist, but less formal. Their main form of reaching the earth is through their life style, choices and how they live. In the seemingly mundane ways they shine the light of Jesus Christ.)


The whole doctrinal argument about Science vs. (or and God) has been hammering at my mind lately. Well, this is not entirely true. I do have some vague idea of why I am stuck thinking about the scientific factual evidence of God (despite the very fact that Science cannot prove anything).
Now, please don't get me wrong. This is not necessarily a questioning of the my faith (God does in fact exists; Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God did die on the cross and resurrected himself on the third day after his death; there is no way to the Father (God) except through the Son (Jesus) - this I believe), but rather a questioning and digging deeper into my faith; begging the question. Thinking the harder to think "I don't wanna 'cause my brain will hurt" thoughts. I am reading a book based around the arguments of C.S. Lewis, David Hume and Bertrand Russell, which has thoroughly captured my interest.
The ideas surrounding a non-believers conviction that there cannot be a higher Deity (a. the world is evil, b. there are two Deity's pulling against each other, c. the Deity is quite despondent and non-interested in the human condition), has thoroughly captivated my mind, and for the time being, my heart.

What is the basis behind these accusations?
Do these people have a faith in something?

What do these humans believe?

All three of these men are obviously deeply intellectual, have spent a great deal of time and thought in their convictions and beliefs, and, for the most part, they had to sacrifice something for their beliefs making them that much more believable.
As I read, I find one of my frustrations with the church surfacing: our "pastors," or more appropriately titled "preachers," do not answer the hard questions. The most common answer to the hardest of life's questions, I have seen, felt, heard, and been told myself, are:

"You just need to have faith,"

"Get over it,"

"it could have been worse,"

"at least x didn't happen,"

"it'll be OK in the end."

Ummm... can you please excuse me while I go gag...

*gag, gag, gag* *choke* *cough* *cough* *cough* *gag*

As I am thoroughly fed up, sick of, tired and worn out from, jaded because of, horrified by and embarrassed by my personal incapability to answer some of these hard questions, I happen to have set upon a personal mission to find out why in the world certain things happen, how they happen, and what Christians are called to do besides "stand by, pray, fast and read the Bible."
Alrighty, so perhaps you have picked up on the fact, over various writings, that I'm more of a "DO!" type of person. I cannot stand standing around twiddling my thumbs. If I am ever imprisoned in some small 6x6 (4x4) ft space, you can be certain that I will have a) learned another language b) written a voluminous novel, c) created a new language complete with diphthongs, feminine, masculine and neuter case endings, d) finally mastered higher math to the point of brilliancy e) gone completely and hysterically insane.
Because of this detesting for the simple, easy, basic and nauseatingly heartless.... er... normal answers to the world, I started reading 'God and the Reach of Reason,' by Erik J. Wielenberg, as well as "Dark Night of the Soul," by Thomas Moore.

This morning, pouring over Wielenberg's book, I began feeling highly frustrated, rather agitated and thoroughly malcontent. My mind began running over the various reasons that people don't believe in a Deity (brought to the table by 'God and the Reach of Reason.')

Why can't people simply be quieted with the answer, "you just need enough faith?"

Struck by the stupidity of the question, my mom's constant reminder to my siblings came to mind, "God gave you a brain! You were made to use it!"


So, my question is now,

Is it more displeasing to God for you to actually seek the Truth with all your might, asking the hard questions, begging the question, giving the question the benefit of the doubt,

or...

to not question at all and simply stuff yourself with the negligent answer of "just have faith."

(Yes, I do believe there are many things in life that don't have an answer. Human beings, by design, seem to be cravers of answers. There will be many, many things in life which will never produce an answer; at least, not until we reach the other side of Heaven. And I do believe there is a time and season to "just have faith," but I am also thoroughly convicted that "simply having faith," and doing nothing, seeking nothing, and thinking through nothing is not only slothful, but even spitting in the face of the God who created you to think!)



God richly bless you and keep you,

Miss Elisabeth

Stepp'n Forward

"If you take that first step into the unknown;

He won't let you go;

So what are ya wait'n for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities are trying to hold onto you;

You were made for more...."

About three weeks ago I started working at an excellent job. You might as well know, the jobs is at Menards. I work in the wonderful-sounding "Wall Coverings Department."
Sound glamorous? Well, one doesn't realize that part of the wall coverings department is Pet-'N Grocery.

It's a good job, don't get me wrong! It's good money for good work! I'm learning stuff (like what a... uuhh.... what is it called??... stuff about Hardware that I didn't know before :-D).

There are a few people who I like hang'n out with (such a relative term when it revolves around body-building-type-work). Some really moral, decent, good, hard working people. People I can relate to, really, which is totally awesome!
In my department, however, there is the looming possibility that I'm the only Christian (committed or non)... a rather... intimidating type of possibility. I know for sure of two other guys in the store who are Christian.

I have also noticed in my jobs previous this one that, whether or not your in a Christian environment, one does not talk about their faith. Period. The end. Don't even think about discussing it, 'cause you'll just get a really odd looked, and probably marked a "prude."
So, I have fallen back to the strategy the other Christian's (who I have no doubt are there) have taken to. This strategy is brilliant! It should be patent! And oh so easy to! And the entire process takes four simple steps.
A) Silence.
B) Don't react (ever)
C) Continue your secluded, lonely, silence.
D) Don't overtly act like your a Christian.
Disclaimer: Don't worry. They'll figure it out any way (if you're walkin' your talk). Just try not to be too prudish.
Simple, huh?!
Thought it would be real great to just follow this procedure and get around the fact that we, as Christians, are called to "go and make fishers of men."
HA HA!
Thought I could totally get away with the whole Jonah idea, and hide from my calling (as a follower of Christ.) Thought it would be simple to fraternize with the "other side" of the world, without actually having to be, act our my faith in overt ways that those around me obviously see.
PAH!
Ladies, and gentlemen, please don't try this at home, work, or anywhere else.
"The Truth" will most definitely "set you free." And "there is nothing hidden from the Lord."
God thoroughly laughed at me. In my face, rather hysterically, if I didn't know any better.



Listening to Britt Nicole's, "The Lost Get Found" before going to work on Friday, I was thinking it would be so incredibly easy to continue my hiding, and not come out and admit that, "yes, I'm basically enmeshed with the church. Grew up in it, worked in it, ministered with it, and committed to it! Yup! That's me!"
The irony of God's timing is brilliant. Really! He ought to be a comedian!

Friday evening, one of the guys who works in Hard Ware (which is next to my department) came over to talk for a couple minutes, during a "dead as a door-knob" time. The typical, "how's work? Ya enjoyin' it," type of stuff. Not rocket science or anything.
But then, oh to my amazement, I cringed. The next question, whose answer I wasn't ready to totally scream to the rest of the world, but a skeleton that I couldn't very well hide in the closet much longer, as it was beginning to become more of a nuisance than help.
"Where did you work before this?"
I cringed. And, I'm sure, my sudden halt in lifting the over-sized dog-crate box up the ladder was more than obvious to this acquaintance.
"Uuhh.... Welll.... I worked in child care." HA HA!
"Oh. Where?" *all smiles*
Darn. It didn't work.
"At a church."
Now, one must remember that talking on the job is something that is heartily looked down upon by the managers if you are a good worker.
By this time, the guy from Hard ware had begun to edge his way back to his department, so it was really hard to tell what exactly the "oh" that followed meant. Despite my utter confusion to this not-at-all-strong, rather-apathetic-reaction, I have found it's one that actually kind'a common here. Sort'a, and not really.
People either react with raised eye-brows, and a disapproving shake of their head, followed by retorts of, "Christians are boring," "you never do anything," "you're a prude," etc., etc. Or a non-reactive-reaction.
The latter is far less common, and terribly annoying.
Especially when there isn't even a hint of bias.
UGH!

"Don't let your light go down; Don't let your fire burn out;
'Cause some where, somebody needs a reason to believe.
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out! That's how the lost get found! That's how the lost get found!
So if you get the chance, are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your finger tips,
and you know you've got the chance to change it."
~ Britt Nicole, 'Lost Get Found'

Britt Nicole's new CD has been my new favorite, and constant reminder for
who I am,
who God is,
and what He expects me to be.

a) Follower and obeyer of His commands and words

b) A Fisher of Men.

Which reminds me of my all-time favorite Sunday School Song,
"Go and be Fishers of men, fishers, of men, fishers of men... Will you follow me? Will you follow me? Will you follow me? God and be fishers of men, fishers of men, fishers of men.... And follow me..."
We used to sing that every Sunday when I was little, in the South West. My Sunday School teacher at that church was committed to the calling of going out into the world yet not being of the world and inviting people onto the The Way of the King, through our thoughts, words and actions.

In all my previous jobs, I was "a Christian" by default.

This time, I'm a Christian, on the job, with a mission, and a deep conviction, by choice.

Which means that all that I think, say and do must reflect that.

The whole concept of Prudishness is an absolute must to a committed Christian's decisions in life.
The call of evangelism demands a higher standard, a standard you hold yourself to.
A standard you don't ask of others.
I'm sorry, this sounds prideful, doesn't it? I'm just trying to process through some stuff!
But as followers of Yhwh, we have no choice! Christ never said, "uh, yeah, if you find that one thing really hard to believe, than don't worry about it!" He makes it very clear that "Believe me or not!" "If you are not for me, than you are against me..." And again, "there is no way to the Father except through Me!" Malachi states this way back in the old Testament,

"'They will be mine,' says the Lord of Hosts, 'on the day that I prepare My own possession,

and I will spare them as a man spares his own sons who serve him.

So you will again distinguish between the righteous and the wicked,

between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him."

(Malachi 3:17-18)

I'm not saying anything about those who are on both sides of the fence (necessarily, but certainly not pointedly). I'm just stating, that one must decide one way or another. I happen to decide to be proactive in my faith, rather than it being a fall-back, or something I do when my mental and emotional states of being switch to auto-pilot (when things get stressful). Not to say I wasn't committed before, just another step in the grand scheme of things.

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other.

"You look around, it's staring back at you;

Another wave of doubt will pull you under;

You wonder: What if I'm overtaken,

what if I never make it,

what if no one's there?

Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown;

He won't let you go!

What are you waiting for?"

Both the beginning and ending quotes are from Britt Nicole's "Walk on Water," from her "The Lost Get Found" album (2009).

"By 1995 American women and girls were spending more than $100 million on "cellulite busters," at $60 a tube."

"Liposuction has become the most popular kind of cosmetic surgery in the United States."

"I really had little to teach them (adolescent girl students) about what it means to live in a culture of unrelenting objectification where women's bodies are used to sell everything..."

"One million teenage girls get pregnant in America every year... only 45% of the pregnancies come to term and are cared for by the biological family."

"In America, girls under fifteen are at least five times more likely to give birth than girls of the same age in other industrialized countries."

I can go on and on with the stunning statistic given in this incredible book, about the evolution of the American girl: From corset laced to promiscuity. Joan Jacobs Brumberg uses the diaries of girls from the late 1800's to the mid-1990's as the back-bone of her incredible essay on what has happened to American teenage girls, and how

there really is a need to educate them as females.

How our culture has really "dropped the ball," figuratively speaking, in regards to training up this young women in how to be wise in their decisions as young women, how to act responsibly, think maturely, and realize that when their sexuality, being powerful, ought to be protected, and then how to protect it.

Starting with Menarche, Brumberg goes through the (rather short) list of ways young women are expected to make themselves presentable to the public (which should, more appropriately, be stated as "perfecting themselves for the ever-watching media.")

From the first signs of puberty (or menstruation) to the flaw-less skin-look; from svelte, dieting and image identity to the birth of shapeliness; from the cultural obsession with showing the pelvic bone in "trendy" jeans and swim-suits to head to near-toe piercings...

Brumberg covers all those bases which define the modern-female adolescents sexuality, how it has evolved, what America's concerns SHOULD be, and what we, as individuals can do to help the younger generation be more knowledgeable in who they are as young-feminine human beings.

(p.s. the only reason I finished this book in two days was I was, quite literally, obsessed with Brumberg's ideas, and simply captivated by the statistics and history this book is saturated in)

A List of Needs- literally

For those church friends, family, local friends, and non-local friends who visit my blog regularly and would like to pitch in and help by buying things, or helping in some other way - I have listed our current needs and will be keeping the list relatively updated.

Any cloth and clothing type of thing. Smoke damage is horrendous and it takes five loads of wash to cleanse one load of laundry reasonably enough to wear without gaging. Every article of clothing that was hung up in the girls and boys closest were thrown out - they were stained, and horribly ruined.

Clothing - sizes/ specifics:

Mens:
34-36x30-32 pants (jeans, slacks, sweats)
20/22's jeans and sweats, or work pants - for Derek who is a long and lean 16 in boys

Medium-x-large t-shirts, sweaters, jackets, hooded sweat shirts, long sleeved shirts
large-xlarge Gloves (we will be working on the house for at least a few months)
Long underwear
socks!!!!
Large-xlarge winter coats, working coats, warm for SD coats
x-large hats and scarves to work in (any winter gear is very much appreciated!)

size 11 mens work shoes, tenni-shoes etc. - both dad and Derek

If you want to minister to Derek's soul, he loves books, loves writing, and food is incredible.
Minister to dads soul: Come out and help :) - more on that below

Women's:
3x shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets/ sweaters, jackets, t-shirts, long sleeved shirts
3x sweat pants, working pants
3x very warm winter coat/ working coat,
large hats, large gloves, scarves- again winter gear will be appreciated, so much!

socks
size 11 work boots/ working shoes, tenni-shoes, any shoes

8-10 (long) jeans, sweats, working pants, pants in gen.
medium to large t-shirt, sweaters, hooded sweaters/ jackets, long sleeved shirts
Large Working coat
Large hats, large gloves

socks
size 10 work boots/ working shoes, tenni shoes, shoes

Boys:
10-slims pants, jeans, sweats, working pants
8-10 t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets, jackets (mediums, I believe)
10 winter coat, working coat
SOCKS!!
Medium gloves (maybe large)
x-large/ medium mens hats (he's got a big head)

5-6 shoes, boots, work boots, snow boots

Minister to Ethan's soul: Books, bionicles, Lego's - he's a kinesthetic type of guy :)

Girls:
6-7 (slims??) pants, jeans, sweats, working pants, skirts, skorts, dresses
6-7 t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, hooded jackets, jackets
7 winter coat, working coat
socks!
Small- medium gloves
Medium hats (scarves)

1-2 shoes, boots, work boots, snow boots,

Minister to Hannah's soul: Polly-pockets, dolls, - girl toys, nail polish - she's very much of a girly girl, and loves books


Food stuffs:
I think we're good through the middle of next week -
Thank you ALL SO much! So many crowns in Heaven for each of you!!!! And six hearts full of gratitude and prayers of blessings!


Misc:
Hygienics


House:
Muscle and clean-up crew (the facility has no heat, water, or light. Dress warm, bring water. The area is not at all safe for children. Our kiddos stay at New Haven, or play with friends during this time. Too much glass, kitchen is unstable, etc.. Please contact us with a good time for you to come out and help, if you are able to - this would be such a blessing to our entire family! It's gonna be a long haul - long winter - long time before the house is habitable.

linens/ bed-sheets - four twins, one king
Comforters
Pillows (we have seven people home during Christmas :)

Towels
Wash clothes


News update: It was slightly unnerving tossing things you remember buying not too long ago from a resale store - very unnerving. I felt like such a waster, counting the price of things as I shoved them into a big, black trash bag. $75, $3, $8, $10.... it all adds up! Wasted. Gone. Hardly used. Of course, I didn't come across the $75 objects often... okay only once, but I will remember that thing for a long time, and to think I only used it twice!! Ugh! Such a waste!
But it can, and most undoubtedly will be replaced - it is replaceable. I would rather throw away a $75 business suit than have to bury a priceless sibling, best friend - my dearest possessions right now (although, technically, you do not posses your siblings, nor do you own their friendship... it's a gift... a priceless gift - one you have only for a life-time, depending on how short, or long God has dictated your life to be)

Dad and I think we have a little insight into the Mind of God - though it may be treading on dangerous ground to say this so lightly.
Perhaps, just maybe, God is one who allows bad things to happen in life, not because he is ruthless or mean, but rather, He allows the evil one to do harsh things to us, He allows the consequences or our sins to catch up with us, because those negative things push us closer to the human God originally intended us to be - it's the refining by fire to become that pure, innocent, beautiful piece of gold... pure, resilient, of the highest value - what GOD created us to be.

"Lead Me to the Cross..."

Thursday, 6:20/30 AM, October 22, 2009, a fire started in the basement of our home on the great plains, and devoured the north-east corner of our basement, and kitchen floor.

Smoke damage, apparently, is worse than fire damage, and, today, as I was sorting through all of mine and my sisters belongings with some dear family friends, I saw how true that is. Trash bags, filled to the brim, are pile up in our front yard.

Water flooded our basement, and dripped, drop by drop, down from the bed room floors, through the first-floors ceiling, into the lamps, and drop-by-drop onto the floor - leaving a person feeling like they are in an abandoned shed in the amazon. Our cats inhabited our house yesterday evening, as did our dogs. It was just slightly unnerving walking into my home to see a barn cat slink around the sopping couch crying "meOOW!"

The walls are stained, and our dining room ceiling is peeling off - falling off in chunks... worse than I though.

And it sounds so horrific! Yet, through the smoke stained walls, charred basement, flooded living room, and empty bed rooms, I have been contantly amazed at God's faithfulness. He truly will "never leave nor forsake us" (heb 13:5). He is committed to us - 'til death do us part from this earth, and we fly on the wings of eternity.

And, I just heard, my older sister is currently in the ER. Prayers for her would be so very much appreciated! She is in college, her blog is http://www.blindlyservinghim.blogspot.com/

If you would, please be praying for our family. My two youngest siblings are having a very hard time, and it will be many weeks before we can move back into our home on the plain.

God richly bless and keep!

Miss Elisabeth