Sunday, December 12, 2010

Of the Wind

Except... there's no sunshine today! *gasp*
Just white-grey clouds hovering over the earth. Bla! So incredibly uninspiring!

These type of days are the real reason that I started this blog: looking for those little things in life that make the grey-white days colorful and vibrant.

For instance, my youngest two siblings were out stomping on the huge piles of snow that have drifted in front of our former duck shed and found a vibrantly colored pheasant clucking around the pen. Enthusiasm, joy, shrieking with delight, the youngest rushes in "WE FOUND A PHEASANT! A LIVE ONE!!!"

So many times, I've sat on my bed or on the couch or in the rocker in our old craftsman style home, rocking back and forth, staring out the window at the white snow racing by on the wings of the wind, listening to it howl as it passes by, the cold air leaking in through the window cracks, wondering why on earth God has ever put a human being on this desolate plain.

The last week or so, I've been toldhow jealous some friend of mine are of the incredible weather. "You might think we're crazy..." Yeah, I do! In all honesty ;) Really! You've missed nothing but the sense of going nearly insane, listening to wind blow for hours on end, rattling the house, banging against the house - there is no peace!
Amidst the snow storm I've disregarded the beauty that can be found in it. As I look at the purpose of blogging, to more greatly appreciate the wild world around me, that mystery which continues to grab me by surprise reveals itself once more: how great, massive, wild and unpredictably powerful our Creator is, how powerful He's created this earth of Hie to be!!

How massive, sporadic, random-globe is His creation!

It's easy to see in a thunderstorm, lightening flashing all over kingdom come, from cloud to cloud, from cloud to earth, striking something occasionally and causing a streak of light to settle from sky to earth for split second; thunder bellowing from Heaven - angels or demons? Heaven or Hell breaking lose? I do believe it's Heaven - God's Heaven, thumping, clanging, thundering from Above.

Thunderstorms are the equivalent to strength, power, intensity, passion; they open up a flood of emotion, awe, wonder, terror, inspiration, desire, resentment all rolled into the peels of lightening and crackling of thunder.

But how about a snow-storm? How on earth? There are no terrors of the sky threatening to strike your home, showing themselves in an obvious way, revealing the Almighty's heavenly power in such striking ways...

It's much more settle, much more furious. It's white and grey.

Instead of thunder that causes the earth to tremble, wind howls like nothing else... it's incomparable. Some relate it to a train railing over head, but this doesn't come close to expressing the intensity and unrelenting noise that fill your head, hour by hour, minute by minute... sometimes lasting for a few days at a time... Mercilessly...

Wind, thirty, forty miles an hour, cold, desolate, termed by National Weather Service as "Arctic Wind." Not only does it's strength surpass that of branches, sometimes trees, bushes, plants... But it's power, it's freezing clenches grasping any living thing in it's path. Nothing can resist the cold grasp of the wind.
When it find you, it claws through all the layers you've put on - every one of them, grasping the core of your being, sending a chill down to your bones that cannot be shaken when it's present.

Much like the Almighty, but He isn't cold, only Just, Righteous, Pure, True, sending a chill to all that which is opposed to these qualities.
When He's present, He cannot be shaken, none can escape. He searches the earth for those who are setting out on the pilgrimage of seeking and living out, owning and living out Truth.
The strength of the wind, the strength of God.

Unrelenting, He'll fight for you, fight to get past the walls you put up in your life. Much like the wind fights against the walls of our warm, safe haven of a home.
Walls we each put up in our lives to keep us safe, safe from the danger of having to put others before yourself, having to share those things which are painful, which reveal who you really are deep down inside. Safe from having to give up yourself, to embrace Him who is above all else, which can only be done in its fullest when you surrender pieces of yourself, parts of your life; all of your in your whole entirity.

Like the wind that unceasingly wrestles against the walls of your home, the Lord never gives up, never surrenders in the fight for your soul.
He's as strong willed, unrelenting and hard headed as the wind. He won't give up. Never, ever. If you run away from Him, He'll look for you everywhere. He'll find you, "where did you go? Where are you? Why did you do this? Come out where I can see you. Show me all of you."

The intensity of the wind, the intensity of Yhwh.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't think for a moment that God could be likened to the cold-hearted wind, but as discussion increases, processing progresses and relationship is developed with those loved ones around me, it's very obvious that God is very much like the wind.

"The east wind carries him off, and he is gone; it sweeps him out of his place."
"Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud."
"The wind blows over it and it is forgotten, and its place remembers it no more."
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
"See, the Lord has one who is powerful and strong. Like a hailstorm and a destructive wind,
like a driving rain and a flooding downpour, he will throw it forcefully to the ground."
"When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.
He sends lightening with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses."
"He who forms the mountain, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness,
and treads the high places of the earth-- the Lord God Almighty is his name."

"The wind blows wherever it pleases.
You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.
So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Swept up onto the wings of a dove,
None could stop it.
Sheol would separate him and life's love.

Scooped away into the pit,
Taken in the darkness of night,
The candle of life snuffed out - a candle once brightly lit.

Laughter decreased as time
Flew away on the times wing.
A second round, closer to the heart this time.

One last night together,
Joy, pain, laughter...
Doesn't love last forever?

He's passing by now, going
The shadows of his soul-
His physical breath slowing.

A mans soul goes on forever,
But this world must let go.
Through deaths door you must endeavor

The pit laughs with joy
- it cackles
As it clenches the life of _...

Where has my grandfather gone?
To Heaven or Hell?
Is it my worry where his life's gone wrong?

I love to return home,
where innocence grew,
And my family left me not alone.

I do not want to experience round two!
Life's too short!
Death too soon....

Grief now takes over
my heart is broke!
Thank God I have no worldly lover!

My life is nothing to me,
It's Christ's alone!
He sees through me.

Grief overcomes
- it's too strong!
My heart too weak to live some...

It's not as bad as it seems,
I'm sure.
This too will pass, life will again, with light, teem!

But now, together, we walk,
This dark and cold corridor,
And in hushed voices we talk.

written by Kendra E. Nehring, for my beloved Grandpa Roy Lamar Rummel.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Time for a Change

It is mid-September. On the prairie this means that farmers are preparing to bring in their crops, if they haven't already begun. They watch the weather closely, paying careful attention to frost warnings, listening to what others are saying about the weather, and being aware of what the weather is like in surrounding areas.

Autumn is a time of preparing on the prairie. Carnivorous mammals move closer towards towns; bird begin their slow process of flocking together; tiny mammals scurry about, gathering food and storing it away in "safe places," so safe, in fact, that they cannot even find it sometimes (sound like mom and I hiding Christmas presents :)

The words from Babe pound at my thick skull as I write this, "a thick fog covered the valley..." Yup. Sounds like home. Look outside... It's quite gray outside. But incredibly beautiful. The corn, upright and stout is reddish-gold at the tops, gradually turning green as your eyes travel to it's root. Our grape vines are rimmed with a reddish brown hue. Flowers are still blooming, but they parade warmer fall colors: reds, yellow, purples, magenta... and no orange this year. Sadly, I think all of our beautiful mums died off from neglect over the Summer... so sad!

But, despite the grievous death of Autumns prize and glory, our carpet of mums, the Fall season is a highly romantic season on the great plains. Because we're surrounded by local farmers, herds of cattle and ancient barns (some of which look as if they will topple over at any second... but, surprisingly, continue to stand strong year after year, despite the fierce winter months), living in the great rural sticks of the plains, my family get's the opportunity to enjoy the most natural elements of Autumn.

The weather is mostly ideal. Leveling out at an incredible mid sixty to seventy degree weather (occasionally reaching eighty on rare day). Sweaters are totally in, giving one opportunity to be fashionable and practical. Hats are an absolute must (who wants to run around in cold weather with your ears exposed? Unless you want an ear infection for the next month, I highly suggest a knit sock-hat! :), scarves are all the rage, and quite frankly, mittens are THE bomb! Especially when they're wool, fleece lined and you can convert them into gloves... *sigh...*

Artistic inspiration simply surrounds you. Honestly, any artist could easily find themselves drowning in the color, vivacity, exuberance, drama and designs of September and October, to about mid November (I refuse to write about THAT month until it hits.... brrrr.....)
t's quite enjoyable sitting here at the computer, listening to a mix of Kutless, Jars of Clay, Casting Crowns and Toby Mac, smelling the sweet incense of a "Pumpkin Spice" candle burning, snuggled in a nearly-over sized sweater, and socks, with hot coffee sitting beside me (yes, coffee. Tea is for that social-hour right before bed:)
I really love and adore the change in seasons, and find the beginning and end of them quite pleasurable. Fall and Summer hold within them the most joy, for me, throughout the entire season though...
Autumn is a beautiful season filled with an overwhelming amount of change and this year, for me, adjustment and preparation.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Oxford English Mini...

Ha ha ha!
Finally!! My nerdy hands grip the four-by-three-inch book in their iron clasp... no one, and I repeat, no one, will take this tiny book from me! Not until I have read absolutely every definition contained between the front and back cover...
It's mine...
Mine I tell you!

I fell like such a two year old!

But I will not let go of this little book..
My precious!

Being a Christian, one would probably think that it's a pocket-sized Bible that I'm drooling over...
However, I'm not so religious...
In fact, I feel highly...

Sacrilegious adj.
Disrespecting something sacred or highly valued.
Being an American, you may think I have bought myself some mini version of the Declaration of Independence, or Constitution to memorize...
But, I'm no such patriot.
Quite frankly, now that you bring it up, I feel rather like a
Renegade n.
A person who deserts and betrays a group, cause, etc.
Being a Home schooler, you may personally know the exhilaration (Exhilarate v. make very happy or lively) that I experience every time I pick up this teenie tiny book, and stick my nose within it's pages....
I am afraid I have taken the final leap.
No longer am I considered a "partial," or "half way."
No longer can I say that I am non-biased, or that I'm on "both sides of the fence."
I have dug the pit and leaped forth..
I am an official nerd...
After experiencing with drawl for the past eleven months, with drawl form my precious, I finally bought another to replace the two former... although, those were the absolute BEST since they were copyrighted in the late 1800's, were absolutely humongous and also contained four pages worth of national flags, every U.S. state flower and flag, and contained a list of both synonyms and antonyms... but I bought one that's good enough to satisfy my hunger to read... an Oxford English Mini Dictionary!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Capturing The Little Things...

Yesterday and today we've been sorting through probably a hundred or so pictures of our family's past; from mom and dad's wedding album to my youngest siblings growth. Apparently, the lids on the bins that contained these well-loved pictures were not on securely, so they got wet. On several photo-albums, which the pictures were carefully placed in, the wet grew into mold...
We threw away so much...
After already throwing away a great deal...
It's been a highly sad couple of days. Not necessarily depressing, nor stressful (although each day finding new problems to sort through bring a nice dose of depression and stress as well).

Before mom and I started working on the pictures I was getting ready to waltz into the great outdoors and start snapping as many shots of the glorious creation as I could. However, mom found mold on the pictures and that took precedence, obviously. Upon completing soaking the dozens (hundred?) of pictures, clipping them up to a clothes line to dry, and throwing bunches away throughout the process, I really had no desire what so ever to take any more pictures! Why bother? They are just going to get tossed and ruined in the end anyway!!

Okay, so maybe I was depressed. I lacked any hope of successfully capturing the beauty in life, and passing it on, in a photograph, believing it'll all waste away without impacting anyone, without any purpose whatsoever.

But of course, as always, God convicted me...
Through a picture...
who He is,

and how....

utterly tiny I am...

All I am is one eentsy, teeny, tiny piece of this HUMONGOUS plan that He has already set into place.
It's all in His hands.
I'm just the worker bee. He's got it sorted. I just need to be obedient, and faithful to what He's laid before me...
And that's so incredibly comforting.
If He has placed before me something so seemingly insignificant, such as a bee or ant, to take a picture of; a flower or a bird, to capture in mid flight; a brother or sister, whose smile brightens my day immediately; a sun-rise or the sun reflecting off the ocean while dolphins play in the distance, than I have an opportunity to share with someone else, maybe someone else who is burning their own precious dreams on the alter of the Almighty, the beauty of the little things... to capture a shot of the tiniest most insignificant blessings on earth and share the glory of God with another human being... by capturing the little things.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

You Are Sixteen...

On the nineteenth my phenomenal brother (we'll refer to him as "Fetche-Boy") turned sixteen.

In the Jewish culture, it's traditional for a boy to have his Bar Mitzvah, or "coming of age," at thirteen. However, I've asked my dad that we have some form of Bar Mitzvah for my brother this year.

Why? Well, this year, my brother has really come into "his own."

God created, deep down, underneath the tenderness and compassion and deep love for life, a mighty warrior, a lion of a man, a rock and a faithful friend.

Before October (or more specifically, before the house-fire and my aunt passed away) Fetche Boy was just that, a boy. A young person becoming a young man. I can't say "he was a child," in good conscious, because he's always carried a lot of weight on his young, yet strong and broad, shoulders. But he dreamed child-like dreams (with potential, please don't get me wrong), and lacked the solid stability that a god-fearing young man provides for others. He was not yet the buffer between the ladies in his life and the world.

Since the fire, however, much has been required of him, and he has fulfilled, above and beyond, what the world ever expects of their boys.

My brother surprises even me!

Two days ago, my dad and brother were hauling furniture and heavy objects from the trailer to the front yard; from the front yard to the basement, or the front porch.

My brother, my "little" brother, has begun a mans-work. He put in a ten-hour-work day, and never complained. Yes, he got tired. Yes, his body ached, yes he became irritable, but even a fully-grown man becomes irritable and tired after using every muscle in his body to help care for their family, protecting the ladies of the house by carrying the heaviest objects and giving them less physically strenuous things to do.

I certainly don't believe that heavy lifting is solely "man's work." I believe that Adam was given Eve to help him, and Eve was given Adam to help her. They worked together, helpers, help-meets, care takers for one another; they were put together to watch each others' backs...

Me and my bro!
We've got each others' backs!

We have always done a lot of talking together. But this year, our conversations have become deeper. We ask each other for advice, confide in each other, protect each others confidence, ask for support from one another, seek perspective from the other. If we need to be frustrated, there is enough trust and grace for each other that we know we can vent without a problem (just be sure to communicate that that's all your doing :). If we need to be sad, this is perfectly acceptable! When we need someone to say, "look, Jack, get your act together..." well... we do that too... we don't always accept it graciously, when it's offered... or given without being offered ;) but there is a bridge between us, a connection, a friendship, a relationship.

My brother, Fetche "Boy," is becoming Young-Fetche-Man.

He still absolutely loves spending as much time as he can wandering the great outdoors, discovering God's beauty and mysteries; pondering life in all it's magnificence, and day-dreaming about becoming Alexander the Great. He still nearly-breaks, at times, but our Lord created my brother to have a strong spirit, one that "never gives up! Never surrenders!"

I could go on and on and on, for quite some time, talking about all the joy and blessings I find in being my brother, Fetche-Boy's, sister... But it's enough for me to say to him, "I love you. I respect you. You're my best friend! Thanks for being there!!" And then making him a PB&J.

Gotta love a guy like that! ;)

Love ya, bro!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I Want to Be Like Mommy When I Grow Up!

Yesterday was my mothers' birthday. She is forty-eight, and I don't think would be ashamed to tell you (as she posted in her blog

In honor of her I have written this small piece.

Mothers are an absolute necessity to every child's life

As a baby, the little girl turns to her mother for that tender, nurturing and gentle love that mothers offer: a soft, snuggly blanket, my mother and her sweet, sweet singing voice.
Mommy holds her toddlers little hand, as they take their first step, smiling with pride: that's her baby girl who's walking!

When babe grows to child, one will find that she needs her mommy to, not only, kiss a wound and then gently and caringly wrap it up in a band-aid, but also to answer life changing questions:
"Who is God? How does one build a relationship with Him?
Why is it important to pray the sinners prayer? How do you pray it?
Will you pray with me?"

Mommy is someone to look up to because she's... well... a mommy! And there is no greater teacher and care-taker, helper and counselor on earth than your mommy!!
So the little girl pretends she is her mommy:
Bringing two Barbies together (Ken and Barbie, herself)
they argue...
Barbie: "Ken! I told you I wanted you to mow the lawn!!"
Ken: "Now, Barbie, don't fuss. It's OK. I was playing with the baby while you were working,
and am now going to mow the long. Just child out a little, I'm taking care of it. :)"
They hug and make up...
Barbie: "Okay, dear..."
Ken: "I love you, darling..."
They work together:
Barbie: "Should we fix the car, today, dear?"
Ken: "Of course! You need to go grocery shopping!"

Then the little one takes a baby-doll in her arms, wraps it in a blanket, "just so," and feeds it with a bottle... "Mommy, it's crying! It WANTS you!!!"
"Mommy, how do I wrap a baby in it's blanket!"

After reaching about eleven, it becomes apparent to the little girl that she is doomed to motherhood. She's addicted to Biddy Babies, would honestly just like to collect every single one of 'em, and pretend she's a busy mother who has adopted a slough of children.
The spiritual journey that the girl started when she prayed with that vassal of the Lord, her mother, has begun to deepen, take root, sink into levels of her life that she didn't even know existed.
Purity before the Lord being one of them. So she asks her mom what God expects of her as a young lady, how she can walk that out, and pursue it.

By twelve, there have been a few conversations where the little girl asks her mother about experience with boys, how one interacts with them, and how to remain platonic friends with them.
These discussions sometimes take a turn to that of purity, holiness and righteousness before God. How one is to remain and cultivate purity: becoming more pure in Christ; guarding your heart and those of your brothers, and encouraging her daughter to always feel free to, and then pushing her to discuss these things with her father.
During this time, mom notices the love for art that's harbored in the girls' heart, and encourages the girl. Although mom won't she her herself, the girl gets her daddy to show her mom's art-work to her. As soon as she is able to look at the beautiful masterpieces her mother created, from gorgeously designed and painted pots, to colorful and life-giving paintings, the girl is let into a whole new world that was formerly unknown to her, about her mother; and mom becomes that much more of a hero to the child.

Transitioning from little-girl-hood into young-womanhood, mother is more needed than ever. Her wisdom, counsel, and life-experiences are vital and a necessity for the little girl to grow into a young lady.
Mommy will be there, always. She's feminine, lovely, gracious and kind; yet firm, decided and opinionated. These characteristics, the child finds, are most helpful in life, and things she strives to attain.
Watching, the girl will observe that mommy-hood isn't solely about being a mommy, but about being a home-maker, a care-taker, a helper and best friend to her father, and friend to each of her children.
Mom is about leadership, new beginnings, creating, nurturing and cultivating, and then sending out into the world that which you have poured your entire being into.
Mom is about doing your best, completing the task before you, it's about,
"Stick to it! No matter the squalls!"
Mom is about the pouring out of yourself for the sake of others, even when it hurts an awful lot; selflessness, Christ-likeness... And mom exemplifies this.
Mom is about supporting the godly man God has called you to be with; being used as a vassal by the Creator of the Universe, to create a new - life; pouring yourself into that new - life; investing in that young being; continuing the legacy God has given her; passing on the baton of the Lord's call to His children, "go, and make fishers of men! Until the whole earth hears!"
It's about preparing new individuals for life, for eternal life... Teaching them that life doesn't end at death, but begins when their soul meets the Creator of souls....
Teaching them that life isn't "all you've got, so live while you can," but rather, that this small piece of eternity, this life, dictates the rest of your eternity! ("Where will you go? Who will you meet on the other side of Heaven? Live with no regrets! Who is God? Who has He created you to be? What does He expect of you?")

As a young women, the little girl is a little more aware of all that her mother has poured into her: her very life. Twenty years, nine months and six days of it!
A twenty-year investment into another sinful-human-being...
Growing-up, even just a little, over the past few years, but especially this year, I see and realize and know that when I grow up, I wanna be just like my mommy!

For more on my incredible, wonderful, amazing mother, please visit her blog:

God richly bless and keep all you mothers who have poured yourselves into your families!
~ Miss Elisabeth

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Take the Coal: Purify My Heart

"Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of
unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the
LORD of hosts."
Then one of the Seraphim flew to me with burning coal in his hand..."
"Take me past the outer courts, into the HOLY place; Past the Braizen Alter,
"Lord, I want to see your face!"
Pass me by the crowds of people, the Priests who sing your praise;
But... it's only found in one place...
Take me into the HOLY of HOLIES;
Take me in by the BLOOD of the LAMB;
Take me into the HOLY of HOLIES
"Take the COAL touch MY LIPS..
Lord, here I am!"
Isaiah six one through eleven is my absolute favorite piece of the Bible. Really, the best part of the whole thing, I think. Well, to be quite honest, any piece of the Bible is incredible, but those small bits, those pure-gold-nuggets, worth more than all the earth and it's treasure, are those pieces which open up the LORD's glory, purity and righteousness to us.

Isaiah six, especially, speaks to me personally, in a very special way. My hearts dearly longs, cries out... nearly physically painfully at times, to be righteous, pure and holy before the Holy of Holies. By Christ's blood we're washed clean, by God's guidance we're growing in righteousness; by the Almighty's grace, we're created new, and by Jesus' payment, washed pure... But God is calling deeper, wanting more, beckoning me further.
And I want to go!
Lord, call me! Summon me! Extend your scepter to me!

"The Lord has given me a hunger for righteousness and piety
that can alone be of Himself (such hungering He alone can satisfy) yet Satan
would delude and cast up all sorts of other baubles:
social life, a name renowned, a position of importance,
scholastic attainment....
What are these but objects of the 'desire of Gentiles,'
Whose ravings are warped and perverted.
Surely they can mean nothing to the soul who has seen the beauty of Jesus Christ...
... Life is not here,
but hid above with Christ
in God,
and therein I rejoice
and sing
as I think on such exaltation."
Jim Elliot, 1952

I was first introduced to Isaiah 6, probably through Sunday school class, or my parents... but I don't ever remember reading, comprehending, understanding, or even really hearing it.
The first memory I have of genuinely and authentically hearing and listening and sort of comprehending the meaning of Isaiah 6 was about two years ago, singing to myself in the basement doing laundry (where I used do most of my singing and thinking ;),

"I saw the Lord seated on His throne; High and exalted;
and there were angels,
with six mighty wings.
With two they covered their faces,
with two their feet,
and with two they fly...
and I said,
'Woe to me! For I have sinned!
For I am unclean
and so are all my kind!...
But my eyes have seen The King!
The LORD Almighty!"

The mighty picture Isaiah paints before us, with his poetic wording carries a whole lot more weight in it than I first realized.

Coal is generally hot... hot coal... the angel, if you read in verse 6a, picks up the coal with tongs, implying that it's hot, very hot. Too hot to handle.
Throughout the Bible, the metaphor and concept of being purified or refined by fire, as gold, is used. I think this is especially interesting, given the context of this chapter... God's righteousness is so incredibly overpowering, His purity and Holiness so wonderful and overwhelming, that the closer one becomes to the Lord, the more their heart longs, desires, throbs to beat true in His holiness, purity and righteousness. This does not mean perfection, but, rather, a desire to be made into and to desire to long for those things which God desires for them, as Isaiah expresses in "Woe to me!!!" (verse 5)

The heaviness of Isaiah and his plea - the deep calling, never relenting desire humanity has to be Imago Deo (to be picked up out of our sin-filled and fallen state into that holiness that reflects off our Holy of Holy One - Him who is greater than us and all our mistakes combined.)
Kutless reflect this inner-longer in their song 'Take Me In.' Todd Agnew shares his desire in his version of 'Isaiah 6.'
And quite frankly, I would really like to have the words to express this longing without sounding holier than thou.
As Christians we're called to long for and pursue holiness, purity, righteousness; righteousness before our God, and not only long for and pursue it, but also walk and live and talk and think this.

Because third-person words now fail me and cease to come to mind, I'm resorting to writing down this prayer that I've prayed, and continue to pray and will always pray... Please, brothers and sisters, join me in this fight for Purity, RIGHTeousness and Holiness, in the sight of God, and before men (who knows, we could be entertaining angels!).

Take hot coals and touch my unclean lips; my unclean hands;
purify my unclean mind and restore my soul to that of
righteousness, purity and holiness
before you,
O Lord, my God!
take this heart of mine, and make it over;
make me new.
Please, give me the desires of my heart,
because I desire...
I seek...
I deeply, dearly and unrelentingly long for you!
For you alone are God! You are Holy
and Mighty,
and I am nothing before you!
I am an unclean being, saved by grace,
my sins washed away through the blood offering,
the purest sacrifice:
Jesus Christ...
But, Lord, please hear my desire,
listen to my petition,
seek my heart for truthfulness and honesty!
I deeply long to be pure before you, (to be)
and righteous!
My heart cries out for you to say,
"Well done, my good and faithful servant. well done!"

I long for you;
And you alone.
My life,
it is not my own.
I belong to no man,
no human,
no being,
not myself
or any other,
but you, God -
my Rock and my Redeemer.
For you have save my life,
and obviously want my life extended beyond what I thought it would,
or would have chosen for it.
You have made man's mouth!
You have made the deaf,
the mute,
the seeing
and the blind!
You are what I long for,
You are my hearts greatest desire!
I give this all to you -
it is in your control,
in your strong hands...
You own myself,
all that I am...
Make me holy before you;
Make me pure before you;
Please, at least find me righteous, according to who you are...


Sunday, June 13, 2010

Set Your Word Upon My Heart; Engraved Within My Soul

It does not seem that the time of an eternity could come close to hold all that which is upon the heart of my friends, and my own heart.

My daily prayer is, "Lord, Lord, give me the words You would have me speak! Let my heart meditate upon the things Your heart meditates upon! Make me into Your image bearer; Let me be Your Azer...."

The Lord is very good, and has given enough words in my heart to last through a life time. How these words are to make their way from my heart, to my lips, into the world, I haven't the faintest idea.

My sister in South Africa ("a sister from a different mother but the same Abba, Father"), her and I have been talking over the email for a few weeks now, and she stated in her last email, which I feel absolutely compelled to share,

"What am I and what are you doing
with the wonderful conviction
God has given us?
And how dare we keep it to ourselves!"

Conviction is something that Christians feel when the Lord presses something into their heart. Something that will not, that cannot, exit from your heart; Something that refuses to quiet itself, and prods at your heart and soul and mind until it nearly drives one mad. Unless you let go, and allow it to escape in the form in which God has designed it to be let loosed.

This prodding is that of Purity.

Yes, I do mean sexual purity, but, my friends, I also mean a mental and emotional and relational purity that the world does not usually speak of. In fact, as a young adult, I have rarely (never, in fact) heard of this kind of purity, verbalized in such a way, until a sister in the Lord introduced it to me. And this for a girl raised in the church!!!

Purity is something that, I believe, my generation, a great number of us, are seeking, and yearning for and desiring with our entire hearts. But it not introduced to us in the way which the Lord would like us to be walking in - the depth which Christ intends us to chase after with fuller abandon.

Many young people are encouraged to keep journals or write letters to their future spouse. This is one way which they can keep themselves accountable and create in their minds a psychological tangibility of the idea that there could in fact be a godly man or woman also waiting for them, as they themselves are waiting.

However, as this friend stated, and which had not actually made itself fathomable to me in my own mind (if fathomable is the appropriate term - because the right words for things only come to me with great challenge)...
... that the idea has now crossed my mind(through the conversation with a dear friend and sister in the Lord) that this may not be the most healthy thing young men and women are doing for themselves, or, in fact, their future spouse and their relationship.

I, myself, now see this to be the case, to an extent.

Not only do you, as a human being, create certain expectations and a certain ideal of what your future spouse will be, look like, how they will think, act, etc., but, as my friend stated, it also creates, psychologically, a relationship with someone who has yet to materialize in your life.

Putting this plainly, they are writing letters to a figment of imagination and creating expectations and an ideal of someone whom can never be. Perhaps there will be similarities between their imaginative spouse and the spouse whom God chooses for them, of this I don't see as all that unlikely, but it does seem unfair to hold onto such childish things, especially when our fantasies only reach a certain depth (of shallowness) and real life and real relationships can be so deep, and rich, and edifying.

I have found, personally, that my imagination and fantasies are sometimes not all that edifying. Not nearly as edifying and rich and don't carry the depth which life and other human beings can offer.

Again, I do not mean to imply or say that writing to your future spouse is evil or negative, or any such thing, itself. Rather, one, as humans, and romantics, and perhaps even lonely people, tend to make it into something negative. It is a good tool for a good season to keep you accountable to someone who is to come.

Blessings in Him who Was and Is and Is to Come!!
Miss Elisabeth
(I wrote this sometime last month, or so, but didn't post it because thoughts and ideas were still coming to mind... I dearly hope it makes some sense, and so dearly wish that words were something that came a little more easily to my slow mind! Praise the Lord for those of you who God has laid many words upon your lips! You Aaron's are an amazing blessing! Speak those words which the Lord would have you speak!
God richly bless and keep you all :)

Friday, June 11, 2010


"To My Home;
I am going home!
Here where the winds of Heaven Blow...
And everything that really matters, it comes to bring and gather me to my home...
To my home!
I'm going home..."

I am going home. Where my heart is.
My home is with a few people... we will be going home together. Home, where the winds of Heaven Blow, and all the things that really matter will bring and gather me to this place that God is creating for me. The place Above.
Though I know that this time that I am here is to be spent on this earth, doing the work written in Scripture, and living life to the Fullest, as Christ did, is what is allotted me now, I do so long for the day when I will be gathered together with my brothers and sisters and we will kneel at the throne of the Holy One, singing praises together; raising our voices as one, singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts!"

Home, Here in America CD By Rich Mullins

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Pink Nail Decals

I have recently, and quite mutually, been befriended by the seemingly only other young woman, who works in the same facility as I, who still wears make-up tastefully and femininely, paints her nails pink (not black nor red) and wears nail decals; isn't either thrilled, nor yet despising of her job and isn't boy crazed.


We have a lot in common on the surface, and are basically in similar places in life (again, we both know what we want to do/ be/ get in the end, but are in odd places, and aren't exactly certain how to get to that place. So we're both working; she as a manager in training and I as a part-timer)
Is it not strange how people sum up one another, based upon appearance? Maybe it's just something we as humans fall back on, by nature.
Interestingly, the people who I thought I wouldn't "schmooze" with, are those who have become quite the chums (again, mutually), and I count on them for help (and some of 'em are quite dependable for help). Maybe this is why we are chums; we help and verbalize appreciation for one another's work. Or, perhaps this is not so strange at all, but rather we as homo-sapiens, tend to take one another for granted.
Conviction is seeping through my thick skull, and the latter seems much more realistic than the former.

As I work I'm finding it's something I depend, quite strongly, on.
I can count on the same things day-after-day, generally, bringing some form of normality into my rather hectic, and "in the air" life... (this doesn't count this last Sunday when the power in the entire building went out for a half and hour-forty five minutes, or so... or the time that the fork-lift decided it needed a day off... or when we got four pallets of 400 boxes of baby wipes, when we haven't even gotten half-way done with the pallet they sent quite some time ago...)... Normality; consistency... The conversation with those chums at work is consistently skin-deep (pink-nail-decals)
Our normal is quite shallow.
(and I am so totally perfectly happy with this!!!)

No, I don't know these people on a deep level. There are a few times when "deep calls to deep," and conversation develops with some seemingly like-minded-type-of-humanity... But this consistency of the normal and relatively mundane is extremely comforting!
In fact, it's thoroughly enjoyable!
(Especially since I'm befriending another girl
who has long-
with-flowers-nails ;)

God richly bless and keep you,
My friend!!
Miss Elisabeth

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thinking.... Perhaps too much?

Why are young people (okay, older people too for that matter) so surprised when a young person responds to a "are you dating" question with, "No, I don't think I'm ready for that kind of relationship," with not only raised brows, but also the skeptical question of "are you lesbian?"

No, quite frankly, I'm not. I have no intentions of ever being so, either.

The root of my lack of a dating life is due to my Religious fanaticism.

When I was around ten or eleven years old, my older sister introduced me to a magazine called Brio, where they talked about purity, waiting for your future husband on the emotional and psychological level, and staying pure physically as well.
My friends, I was convicted. It seemed like a perfectly romantic story-line: Wait for my Future Husband (whoever he may be), staying perfectly content, and pure. A damsel, a Princess, if you will, awaiting her Prince Charming (although I dearly hope he has much more back bone and courage than any Disney Prince - yuck! And please, no dandies like Rapunzel's prince! I mean, seriously, he could of at least tried talking with the witch before going behind her back and bringing half-ruination to every one!!!!).
Sound romantic, huh?
Well it does to a ten year old... and thirteen year old... and sixteen year old...

As you hit young-adulthood, the whole "no more dating, just waiting," life style becomes much more strenuous. One absolutely must become intentionally proactive about remaining single and pure (of heart, mind and body) and cannot any longer go along remaining databley single any longer.

Okay, so this whole train of thought is probably a huge stretch of randomness for most of... okay all y'all!!
But it's all quite relative to my life right now, since one of the woman I work with joyfully informed me that there are "lookers" who have "noticed" me at work... After she stated all this (with an ear-to-ear-grin) she triumphantly stated "Isn't that exciting!!!" So, being the totally-not-overt-rather shy-introverted-"my dream super-hero-power-is disappearing" person that I am, my totally beat-red face said it all as I nodded dumbfoundedly.
Please bear in mind that a short conversation-like interaction took place between this woman and I previous this statement... And in all honesty, I wanted to yell after this person, "that's not quite the word I was looking for... terrifying might better explain my feelings right now! Not-ready! I'm just a baby! Too young..." Really, and honestly, anything besides "exciting," would have probably summed up the wave of emotions that overtook me... excitement was not one of them!

Sist'a, I am so just a baby!!!
Maybe Maria Von Trapp thought that "waiting a year, or two" (being eighteen or nineteen) was kind'a, sort'a around the time that one is ready to step out and begin the journey of seeking a spouse...
Ehem, excuse me, I totally beg to differ in this opinion! At least for me... No, I'm not at all ready for this kind of addition to my life... Or maybe it's just because life is... well... life? Hectic, crazy, unsettled, in-between, in-transition? Either way, I'm totally not ready for a romantic relationship, of any kind, really.
Mom and I were talking, and she was saying how dad felt the same when they were engaged even. We were laughing hysterically as I pointed out that he would have probably felt that way if they had waited until their forties to marry ( ;-D) And it struck me... Dang... I'm so my fathers daughter! Which may not be a bad thing after all... but, we aren't at the "after all" part of the story, so I wouldn't know!
I'm sorry, I really do think I'm beginning to babble. This happens when the clock strikes "Quarter of nine, and all 's well!"
God richly bless and keep y'all this week!
May you enjoy the rich and abundant blessings He holds for you,
and enjoy all the beauties of Spring/ Summer!!
Miss Elisabeth

Friday, May 14, 2010


As I was working today, it struck me how few people actually, actively, live out a good moral life style. Yes, moral by a Christian's standards are higher than for those of non-Christians (at least non-religious folks, some atheists, etc.), and I'm stating this very loosely, not at all inclusively. And I'm also defining Christian as someone who has committed their life, wholly, to God. No holds bars!
Yes there are some "good" people at work. But they are good until you reach about mid-depth on the personal level.
When it gets right down to it, to be honest, please excuse my language, they are pretty pissed off people. Deeply hurt people; Some people who are indifferent to humanity, if humanity isn't complying to their every whim. And some people are nice on the out side, but when it gets right down to the hard thing, the only people they have in mind to take care of is them self. Yuck!
I mean, I am so sorry if you are offended by that statement, but, honey, you seriously need to get an attitude adjustment!
Not that all the people, or none of the people, or whatever black or white statement you want to insert here, are this way. There are some really fantastic people gentlemen and women there too! They happen to, generally, be over the age of thirty, married, and have children of their own (the last two are especially important: married and committed, have children and deeply love them and care for them!)
A few people, not many, are just plain ol' disagreeable! Still, trying to be friendly, extending gratitude and being positive around them... it's so terribly hard sometimes!
One of the people that work there I desperately want to sit down and say, "Okay, hun! You've got fifteen minutes to come up with a good reason why you are so negative, grumpy and rude! (Good is defined as: my parents have died, my entire family has died, I have no one left, I have been abused/ neglected, seriously, I'm starving to death or watching my siblings starve to death - think third world country here).

The world owes you nothing!
You work your way through!
You work to earn your money!
Work hard and have good work ethic
and you'll reap the rewards!
I know you probably really didn't need to hear that, especially from someone so naive and young as I, but I feel OH SO MUCH better having said it ;)
I apologize for making myself sound holier than thou. Please, lemme back peddle. I had a horrible attitude on Wednesday. Irritation was a better acquaintance that anyone from work. Irritability and some offense.
Bad, bad, bad!
To be honest, I was throwing a hissy-fit/ temper tantrum for myself. Poor me, there is only one other Christian in the area I work. HAH!
People in the world have much bigger issues that Miss Elisabeth not finding a kindred spirit *laughs*
Like, worrying about how you will be persecuted for simply being a Christian! Let alone the paranoia that must accompany some people in some countries, when meeting another "Christian" (are they really?!)
But I'm sorry... this post seems half finished... my thoughts are still turning in my head, hurting my head really, and my eyes are so tired!
But God richly bless and keep you, my brothers and sisters! May His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! May He lift His countenance upon you and give you peace! The Lord God guide, protect, heal and deliver you, and give you the desires of your heart.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Drinking From My Saucer

I was wanting to complain today. Complain about all the "hard work I've done." "All the hard work I did." And sometimes how, "Oh! I had to do it alone..."
A friend posted this on her blog on Facebook, and this, instead, I will now pray!

Drinking From My Saucer
By John Paul Moore

I've never made a fortune and
And it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I don't have a lot of riches,
And sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loved ones around me,
And that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings,
And the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
And the sun peeped through again.

So God, help me not to gripe about
The tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,
To help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

God richly bless and keep you,
May He guide you and protect you,
Showing you, bringing you, Divine appointments,
Giving you opportunities to help others bear their loads,
Revealing to you those opportunities which us, as humans, commonly miss,
to reach out and touch the life of another human being, another creation of the Almighty!

Miss Elisabeth

Thoughts 101

Mission, Faith-Believing Christian:
  • and TEACHING (2nd Timothy 4:2)

Mission, Citizen of the United States:

  • for TRUTH

Mission, Employee:

  • DO IT!

Mission, Warrior:

  • PRAY

Mission, Sister:

  • HOLD SELF TO THE HIGHEST STANDARD (the best I can, in all that I do)
  • WHO DO I WANT THEM TO BE LIKE (ultimately, Christ!)

Missions, Daughter:

  • DO IT!
  • PRAY!

Mission, Final thoughts:

  • FIGHT!
  • WIN!

Blessings upon you,

in the name of the One who has called us,

who has set us apart.

Miss Elisabeth

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My Plans vs. God's

The day at work had gone really well. I was being chummy, funny, conversant, and overall having fun!

But, then, as I was walking into the freight room to put away some wrapping stuff, one of the guys was talking about me with another one of the guys. The first guy was stating, quite confidently, that I liked this other guy.
My first reaction was shock, stopping in my tracks. I wanted to burn a whole in the dude! Who in the world does he think he is? He doesn't even know me!! I do not like any guy at this time in my life! I'm very happy being single, and am rather content in my singleness (God is good!!!).
I do know that I'm called to get married and have a family, eventually. But I am so not ready for this in life! Waiting seems like a very good idea to me right now :)

Anyhow, in my shear shock, which rapidly turned into a... ticked off-ness, putting away the packing stuff and marching back out was all I could do to keep from burning a non-literal-hole in the guys' back, with my eyes (yes, apparently, at least according to my younger brother, I do have laser eyes when I'm mad [not angry though])
I don't think I would have minded, so much, if I knew the guys were also Christian's, but thus far my doubts are trumping any hopes of such things.
The feelings I felt following anger were, strangely, that of being degraded. My worth trampled. My person hood depleted as something to talk about, not someone to talk with, in these dudes' minds. This is a rather disgusting feeling!
Sandra Huxtable's line came to my younger brothers' (same one who says I have lasers for eyes) lips:

"You men!"

(Except, I would totally erase the whole "man" thing and replace it with, "guy!")

Now, does this have an actual affect on who I am in Christ?
Not unless I give it a foothold in that door, which I will not!
I've taken to wearing a clay cross with wire twisted around it, on a leather cord, and a pearl on a gold and silver chain, whenever I leave the house any more.
The cross reminds me, personally, that I am nothing more than clay to God - dust particles with His life (water), creating clay, which He will mold into the shape He desires, if I give Him control.
The wire reminds me that in His strong, firm grip, I am safe (attaching the cross to the leather cord), and the cord: 3-strands are not easily broken (God, me and the Holy Spirit - of course Christ, but I talk with God as my Father, and the Holy Spirit is she who gives me wisdom, as stated in Scripture)

The pearl on the silver and gold cord is not as unique, but still personal:

I am HIS pearl of great price!
Being purified, as gold,
and as beautiful as silver...

I suppose another reason why the dudes' words, at work, bugged me so, was that they were based upon my physique (as the past two, "are you dating," questions are). Nothing personal. Not like any one could no, nor would they ask. It's not at all personal, and a rather judgemental statement.
As I'm working, I try so very hard to have the mentality that "in all I do, do it for Christ." Who knows! Maybe I've even entertained an angel or two?
But that simple, short phrase, that verbalization of an idea that had no founding, gave way to doubts in my own head: has everything I've been praying about, striving for in Christ, praying God would be who they see, and I would simply vanish into the decor of pet 'n grocery... Has this all be in vain? Do they see nothing more than a girl? Someone who blushes, maybe too easily, is obnoxiously silent in her job, and works like a fiend?

If so, I might just melt into a puddle of nothingness
and vanish into the void of life!!!

God is good all the time! As I'm sitting at the computer, on Face Book no less, sinking into the most pitiful pits of my interior self (quite narcissistic-ly I might add), a dear sister in Christ replied to a comment I made.
She said something beautiful, bringing new life, meaning and genuine-ity to my pearl necklace.

"Too many people float through life
glazed over,
plugging away, drives me nuts.
You're in there, connected, present,
lovin' life.
And God loves that about you!!!
He can use that to touch others.
(You can totally see that kind of light in someone)"

So maybe I'm just totally a dumb, emotionally-oriented girl, but this really struck me as, "Oh! Maybe that's what they are seeing, maybe!!! Maybe I haven't totally screwed up God's plan, and He really is using me, maybe!"
Maybe, maybe, there is, somehow, something God is doing, despite me, possibly even through me!! OOooh, I do hope so! I hope I can keep myself out of the way enough for HIM to work and I

"Disappear... without a trace!"

God richly bless and keep you,
As you too strive to vanish into His creation,
Allowing Him all the glory, allotting Him all that is (for He created it)
And stepping aside so "His will be done! On earth as it is done in Heaven!"
Amen and amen,

Miss Elisabeth

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Thoughts for the Day... Sunday, =)

Well this morning I went to church with my family; had a wonderful time of Praise and Worship, and felt thoroughly rejuvenated and filled up by The Lord.
Went to work, and, apparently, that "glow" personified itself in a "perkiness," which I was totally unaware of!
One of the guys I worked with commented on me being "perky this morning," and then asked me why :)

Opportunity #1: Got to share that it was church and family together that made my day (on a deeper level, God!)

Saw my manager, and handed her a lovely box of stuff for her Painting department. Smiling, she said thanks....

Opportunity #2: Special, personal delivery of items that do not belong in the Pet and Grocery Department (yes, this does include all painting, gardening, hardware and lumber supplies).... Sub opportunity: Got to wish my manager a Happy Mothers day, which she thoroughly appreciated, and beamed for the next forty-five minutes :-)

Took my lunch/ dinner/ 1/2 hr. required break for food, sat down, and really fought sleep :-P
Was in the break room with one of the gentleman I know from Hardware, but he was reading the news paper. After he left, I was thoroughly alone! I twas wonderful!!!
The Bible verse that was read for church today kept pounding in between the two sides of my head and I had to find it and read it over.... and over... and over... and over... and over again...

Opportunity #3: 'Twas able to read the Bible at work!! This lead to me writing the entire verse down a couple of times and sticking one copy in my back pocket... Sub-opportunity: Had a piece of the Bible to read to myself whenever I wanted to throughout the rest of the day...

After break I accidentally broke a bag of something, and it needed tape. Walked up to my department desk, retrieved the tape, and was asked by one of my co-workers "What have you done?!" After telling him that I did break it, and that I now was fixing it, he order that I owe him twenty bucks (a number following me all stinking day *laughs*).... I considered the options before me:
a) comply and mock-hand him money
b) do the whole "oh, c'mon," stupid-not-any-fun-boring-too-common-response
c) Be a total rebel and do the unexpected...
Feeling highly, *ehem*, "perky," from reading my Bible and stuffing some in my pocket, my mouth broke loose into a smile and took over... A grin, really. That dark, oh look, ha ha, I will now make you suffer, kind of grin...
I mock-spat in his hand.
The dude grimaced and wiped his hand on his shirt!!! *laughs hysterically*

Opportunity #4: Used the situation to " my advantage; grabbed the opportunity to have the upper hand and covertly expressed my conviction that I owe no man nothing, at this time in life.

I am solely Gods'!!

The lovely, adventuresome-day, in little but meaningful ways mind you, ended beautifully. Dad had to take some notes over to the office and I had the opportunity to drive with him. Was wonderful :)

Opportunity #5: Daddy time! Can't beat that ;)
Dad was gonna put on a Hebrew-language CD, but I asked him if we could talk instead. There are many questions I have about humanity and how humans function and work...

Opportunity #6: Asked my siege father for advice, information and his opinion on the relationships and people-types at work. This was very much well worth the getting-out-there and asking!

And now, my dear friend, I am going to say goodnight! Sleep well!! Sleep dreams :)
See you in the morning!
Enjoy the sun-rise, sleep deeply, knowing that, God has inscribed you on the palms of His hands...

Opportunity #7: Passing the blessing along!


God Richly Bless and Keep you!
Miss Elisabeth

Opportunity #8: You have many opportunities in your mundane-day-to-day-life. What are they? Are you going to shove your foot in the door and fling it open, or let it slam shut?
You can change the world: One step at a time. (whether this be one aisle at a time, one customer at a time, one prayer at a time, or one meal at a time, or one diaper at a time

Just keep swimming ;)

"Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
your walls are continually before Me.
Your builders hurry;
your destroyers and devastators
will depart from you.
Isaiah 49:16-18 NIV

Monday, May 3, 2010

Humph!... And... *sigh*.... Really?

(For the purpose of this writing, the terms, "pastor," "preacher," "leader," "evangelist," "fisher of men," and "disciple," will all be separated into different meanings.
Being a
Pastor - a person who has a personal and emotional connection and investment with you, as someone they care about, care for, and love genuinely. They know who you are and are personally invested in your spirituality and emotional/ spiritual state of being.
Preacher- a man, or woman, who speaks publicly in the church at the pulpit on Sundays (these types of humans are much more common than pastors)
Leader- a person who carries a certain amount of charisma, which attracts others to them. People naturally flock to these people to be directed for a common vision and goal. These people have a clear direction, vision, mission, commission, calling and goal for their life: their lives are this vision.
Evangelist- a person, man or woman, who's main mission in life is to spread the gospel to the far reaches (and close knit) of the earth. They see their job in life as sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with those they come into contact with, in a formal way (public speaking, preaching, etc.)
Fisher of Men- these people are a certain type of evangelist, but less formal. Their main form of reaching the earth is through their life style, choices and how they live. In the seemingly mundane ways they shine the light of Jesus Christ.)

The whole doctrinal argument about Science vs. (or and God) has been hammering at my mind lately. Well, this is not entirely true. I do have some vague idea of why I am stuck thinking about the scientific factual evidence of God (despite the very fact that Science cannot prove anything).
Now, please don't get me wrong. This is not necessarily a questioning of the my faith (God does in fact exists; Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God did die on the cross and resurrected himself on the third day after his death; there is no way to the Father (God) except through the Son (Jesus) - this I believe), but rather a questioning and digging deeper into my faith; begging the question. Thinking the harder to think "I don't wanna 'cause my brain will hurt" thoughts. I am reading a book based around the arguments of C.S. Lewis, David Hume and Bertrand Russell, which has thoroughly captured my interest.
The ideas surrounding a non-believers conviction that there cannot be a higher Deity (a. the world is evil, b. there are two Deity's pulling against each other, c. the Deity is quite despondent and non-interested in the human condition), has thoroughly captivated my mind, and for the time being, my heart.

What is the basis behind these accusations?
Do these people have a faith in something?
What do these humans believe?

All three of these men are obviously deeply intellectual, have spent a great deal of time and thought in their convictions and beliefs, and, for the most part, they had to sacrifice something for their beliefs making them that much more believable.
As I read, I find one of my frustrations with the church surfacing: our "pastors," or more appropriately titled "preachers," do not answer the hard questions. The most common answer to the hardest of life's questions, I have seen, felt, heard, and been told myself, are:

"You just need to have faith,"
"Get over it,"
"it could have been worse,"
"at least x didn't happen,"
"it'll be OK in the end."

Ummm... can you please excuse me while I go gag...

*gag, gag, gag* *choke* *cough* *cough* *cough* *gag*

As I am thoroughly fed up, sick of, tired and worn out from, jaded because of, horrified by and embarrassed by my personal incapability to answer some of these hard questions, I happen to have set upon a personal mission to find out why in the world certain things happen, how they happen, and what Christians are called to do besides "stand by, pray, fast and read the Bible."
Alrighty, so perhaps you have picked up on the fact, over various writings, that I'm more of a "DO!" type of person. I cannot stand standing around twiddling my thumbs. If I am ever imprisoned in some small 6x6 (4x4) ft space, you can be certain that I will have a) learned another language b) written a voluminous novel, c) created a new language complete with diphthongs, feminine, masculine and neuter case endings, d) finally mastered higher math to the point of brilliancy e) gone completely and hysterically insane.
Because of this detesting for the simple, easy, basic and nauseatingly heartless.... er... normal answers to the world, I started reading 'God and the Reach of Reason,' by Erik J. Wielenberg, as well as "Dark Night of the Soul," by Thomas Moore.

This morning, pouring over Wielenberg's book, I began feeling highly frustrated, rather agitated and thoroughly malcontent. My mind began running over the various reasons that people don't believe in a Deity (brought to the table by 'God and the Reach of Reason.')

Why can't people simply be quieted with the answer, "you just need enough faith?"

Struck by the stupidity of the question, my mom's constant reminder to my siblings came to mind, "God gave you a brain! You were made to use it!"

So, my question is now,

Is it more displeasing to God for you to actually seek the Truth with all your might, asking the hard questions, begging the question, giving the question the benefit of the doubt,


to not question at all and simply stuff yourself with the negligent answer of "just have faith."

(Yes, I do believe there are many things in life that don't have an answer. Human beings, by design, seem to be cravers of answers. There will be many, many things in life which will never produce an answer; at least, not until we reach the other side of Heaven. And I do believe there is a time and season to "just have faith," but I am also thoroughly convicted that "simply having faith," and doing nothing, seeking nothing, and thinking through nothing is not only slothful, but even spitting in the face of the God who created you to think!)

God richly bless you and keep you,

Miss Elisabeth

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Excerpt Of Literature

Part I

Meanwhile, Great-heart commanded the others to find crowbars and wedges. pulleys, and ropes wherewith to pull down the walls of Doubt. "There must not remain one stone upon another that shall not be thrown down," commanded he.
In the process of searching for tools, Honest and the two brothers found themselves amid the clutter and trash of the (dead) giant (Despair's) apartment (for 'tis oft the case that the servants of evil are quite messy. And the reason? Why, to drive away any angel visitants from the kingdom of light - for amidst confusion they cannot long abide).

Then Joseph shouted down from the apartment window, "Great-heart! You should see a these statues of naked people here in the witch's (the giants wife, Diffidence) apartment!"
"Remember your covenant, Joseph," he warned. "Look not upon them, lest you be defiled by them."
"What then?"
"Obey the Scriptures. Smash them!"
So Joseph kept his soul pure by keeping his eyes above the necks of the voluptuous statues. One by one thirteen idols where beheaded and smashed into heaps of dusty rubble.
Then James came forth from the library carrying several ancients books and reading them amusedly from one of them. Shouting from the window he said, "Great-heart!" The Giant even has a library of joke books. Why, here is one called 'Nations Geography' that speaks of millions of years to create one little worm! Can you imagine!"
" 'Tis science- falsely so-called. Those books are the very cornerstone of Doubt. Burn them. Burn them all!"
"What about these funny paintings of monkeys turning into men?"
"To the flames with them!" Commanded Great-heart. "Don't even look upon them. Let us return this castle (of Doubt) to the jungle."
So they fell hard to destroying the abominable statues, vile images, deceitful books, and all the instruments and appendages of demon worship. Then they set out to bring down the walls and towers of Doubting Castle (which was not so hard now that the cornerstones had been consigned to the flames.)

- (in the dungeon, Matthew and Samuel are releasing prisoners of the dead Despair, and Doubting Castle) -

"There was a loud creaking sound as Matthew forced back the rusty door, saying, "There you are, professor. Free as a bird."
"Thank you, lad. Thank you very much. You may address me as Dr. Liberal."
"Don't thank us, Doctor," responded Matthew. "Thank God."
"God! Hmmph," snorted the man as he gathered up some papers. "Don't you know yet? There is no such a thing as God!"
"What!" Exclaimed Matthew incredulously. "No God!"
"You heard me correctly, lad. God is a figment of man's imagination - word invented to describe undiscovered technology."
"But the religion of Christ..."
"Ah, yes. Religion - a powerful tool of the priestly caste used to control weak men's minds."
Just then came a thunderous crash as another pillar of Doubt crashed to the ground.
"We, say what you want, friend," answered Matthew nervously. "We have opened the door to freedom. You can either escape with us for find your own way out."
"Out! Ha! This dungeon is an intricate maze from which none have escaped. How do you propose to find a way out? He challenged belligerently.
"We'll pray at each point of decision," answered Matthew confidently.
"Pray! Mocked the man with an all-knowing chuckle that sent ripples cascading down his long, flowing academic robes. "Ha, ha, ha! Surely you can't be serious!"
"We also accompany our prayers with action," added Samuel.
"Action? What action?"
"Well," said Samuel as he picked up a loose cobblestone, every time we encounter a mirror of confusion (which was seemingly on every wall of the dungeon in order to bring confusion to the walkers of the dungeon halls) we make our way easier by smashing it."
"What! Hey! Wait, wait, wait!" He protested. "This maze of Doubt has taken years to construct! It is a word-famous work of art!"
"Built for the destruction of souls!" Declared Matthew.
"Souls! Bah!" Scoffed the man. "There are no souls. This life is all I have."
"Well then, all the more reason to follow us out lest all you have be lost," answered Matthew. "A stone strait ahead, Samuel."
And this Samuel did wish smashing success.
"Stop!" Cried the scholar.
"Another other to the right, Sammy."
"I said stop!" Shouted the earned professor amidst the sounds of shattering glass. "You are desecrating fine art!"
"We are saving our lives!" Shouted Matthew amid the thunderous sounds of another great battlement crashing down above them. "Our brothers don't know about this maze. They must think we're already out."
"Brothers! And just what are your barbaric brothers doing up there?" Demanded the professor.
"They are destroying Doubting Castle."
"What! and what about a the giant's (Despairs) exquisite statues?""Well, if I know master Great-heart, they are' no doubt reduced to a heap of dust by now," answered Matthew. "Come along now."
"And what about he paintings?"
"Probably gloating away in a cloud of smoke. Are you coming?"
"And the library?"
"The same. Come, everyone. Hurry! Lead the way, Samuel." So Samuel started out, towing Despondency and (his daughter) Much-afraid (whom they had found in the dungeon earlier) along by their hands. Matthew, loathe to lose the indignant scholar, tried once again to persuade him. "And you? Are you coming?"
"You destructive barbarians! Away with you!"
"Do you know the way out?"
"I don't need your ignorant help, if that's what you mean!"
"We have the only light." (the light was the life of men, and the light shined in the Darkness: John 1)
"Light? Light is only an impingement of photons on our retina causing complicated molecular changes that send electrical signals to the inner recesses of our brain."
"In plain English, light is only an illusion."
"That's funny. It works well enough for me. And what about darkness?"
"What is real? What is not? Who really knows?"
"I do. Follow me and see!"
"Matthew!" Cried Samuel from far up the tunnel. Then came another great crashing sound.
"Coming! Come on, friend. We can debate truth up top."
"Truth! What is truth? Can it even be debated?"
The renewed sounds of falling timbers and crashing stones added further urgency to Matthew's voice. "Later. Later!" he commanded. "You must hurry!"
A shower of dust and debris from above added weight to Marthe's command and even the professor saw that philosophical discussions could wait for another day. "Oh, very well," answered he petulantly. "Just let me get my Doctor's degree. Takes years to earn one you know. A fellow can't get a decent job without one."
Another collapsing wall shook the earth and sent a cloud of dust roiling down into the dungeon.
.... Turning back, (Matthew) was dismayed to see nothing by the Doctor's backside as he dug among all his many articles and dissertations (looking for his Doctor's degree).
"Be right with you. I seem to have misplaced my degree," muttered the scholar. In his frantic search he scattered reams of paper about in a virtual snowstorm. "I could have sworn I had it right here. I look at it every morning, you know. Perhaps I have hit it under the chamber pot."
"Forget it! There is not time"
"Time? Time is only another illusion. But my degree is my touchstone of reality. Now where on earth did I put it? Perhaps in my dissertation."
"... Well, I'm going, sir. Catch me if you can." And with that, Matthew turned to rejoin Samuel and his charges who were growing increasingly fearful of being buried alive.
"I'll be right there," muttered the over-intelligent Doctor of Philosophy as he continues his search in the rapidly darkening dungeon. "My! You would think that in such a small cell as this, one could certainly find a simple, gold-leafed degree, wouldn't you? Hmmm. Perhaps it is in the pocket of my gown..."
Meanwhile, Matthew had gotten himself caught up and was leading the ascent up the last, twisting stairway. And so they made their escape just moments before a tottering wall crashed down and buried the last exit from Despair's dungeon.... "

- Pilgrim's Progress, Part 2: Christiana. (An unabridged retelling of John Bunyan's immortal classic) -

Warmth for Winter

* Burnt-orange nail polish
*feather-down, fleece-lined blanket
*Hot "English Breakfast" tea, if a tsp. of whipped honey
*Pictures of tropical islands
*knitted scarf
*An adorable puppy to sit on your lap
*blazing fire
* Basic Message Oil
6 tsp. carrier oil of your choice
8 srops of essential/ fragerance oil of your choice
Blend the two together, well. Warm up the oil before using - make sure to message between your fingers and your cuticals.
.... any questions?